Do you have any tips for coping with the expectations of the end of year period?
I have found that high expectations= high pressure = anxiety = depression for me. So I now aim to set and control my own expectations. I also set boundaries with other people’s expectations in regard to me. It does relieve pressure on me which is bound to help me maintain groundedness and even open the way to enjoying the time.
I know from my work as a counsellor that many people’s mental suffering is heightened at Christmas time. I assume this is because there is a feeling of not measuring up to what everybody else appears to be doing. I have felt that and I, like you, don’t deserve to feel like that. It’s a natural instinct I expect to want to fit in with the flock but we can only control what’s in our control. Let’s find our way of doing what helps us feel grounded in this end of year season – it will be different for each of us and we are talking about small things/activities.
I have reflected that like mental health for everyone (not just for those of us who have struggled a lot with it) is in a wave form – up and down. This means that occasionally there might be a Christmas that doesn’t feel as hard, or alternatively feels harder, because of an internal or external factor(s). Remind yourself to allow for the possibility of change and to notice when there is a bit of positive change, even after the pattern of years makes it look unlikely. If it is a harder end of year than before, notice why that is and be compassionate towards yourself as you would a friend.
