Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm 51.  I've struggled with my mental health since my teens though no one realised.  I was a successful young person (Dux of school, university, great boyfriends) but I really struggled with my sense of self.

I attempted suicide at age 24 and lost a lot of friends due to the stigma.

At age 34 I was hospitalised during a psychotic episode and given a diagnosis of schizophrenia.  I lost my partner, my home, my friends, went bankrupt.  It was horrible.  Most people washed their hands of me.  I will never forgive them.  That includes some of my close family members.

I have still managed to work as a high school teacher.  At present I stopped working six months ago as my mental health is playing up.  Depressed, anxious, some psychotic symptoms.

I exercise every morning, see psychiatrist fortnightly, take medication, meditate daily, and try to eat well yet I am still struggling at present.  I am also really lonely because (just like in the past) I've lost friends due to my mental health.

It is so disappointing that people sever ties with you when you are unwell and need them the most.  Fair weather friends and all that!

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing @Former-Member .

Good on you for reaching out. It sounds like a lot has happened, yet you've been able to better yourself in many ways including maintaining work as a teacher - not easy!

I'm sorry to hear that people have severed ties with you since you became unwell.

So you have anyone that you still currently speak to?

I hope you find connection and belonging here on the forums.

[Kyle1]

Thanks for opening up and sharing  @Former-Member 

"A friend in need is a friend indeed"

Nice to meet you!

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Former-Member you sound like an intelligent woman and i relate to many aspects of your story. Your work as a high school teacher sounds meaningful.

I broke down as a teenager and was abandoned by family and friends pretty solidly.

Its taken me years to realise the stigma wasnt my fault and the problem wasnt i berent to me.

I wander if this has also been part of your journey...separating yourself from the stigma.

Standing with you, in solidarity.

[Kyle1]

@tyme 

https://youtu.be/f4vIr0a70Jw

[tyme]

Hahaha @Kyle1 . Good on you 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member 

Losing the support of family and friends for any reason is devastating - I have been through something similar in the past - I did develop depression however it was a different problem with one of my children that caused my family to withdraw - or I withdrew from them. I reached a point where I didn't feel the need to explain my decisions to them as they obviously didn't want to hear - I found new friends and saw my family rarely through the years - and I know it was unjust.

It is not your fault - we have no control over other people's behaviour - our life's circumstances can be challenging and it takes resilience to maintain our well-being - this is not easy - sometimes we have to get some help to find our individuality and self-confidence.

We also need to feel comfortable with being ourselves - I am a great proponent of self-care and self-respect - I know it's hard to see your good points when there is so much against you - you will be accepted here - I see you as an intelligent person who has kept working until you needed a break recently - don't we all?

I do wish you the best - I know you are unhappy - I can see that in what you have written - somethings we have to accept - somethings we have to change - other things are mutable.

I am glad you have opened up to us

Owlunar