~ The Toolshed ~

[Cuddlebear]

@Dreamy @Yeah it does look like it’s a rough time for a few of us. Im really sorry you feel unwell. It is good we have this forum. It’s helpful to be in a space of understanding.

I’m trying too but as you said it’s a struggle. Yes having Covid compounds the feelings. I’m home and don’t have any motivation at the moment. Chatting here is good though. 

[Dreamy]

@Cuddlebearisit's definitely nice to have the forums. 

Not having any motivation makes everything hard but I'm glad you are here chatting 🙂 

[Cuddlebear]

@Dreamy  Yes just being here helps. It feels like there’s humans around and I don’t feel so lonely. Have you been on these forums long? I’m relatively new. 

Are you home today or planning to do something? I’m at home obviously as I have Covid. 

[Dreamy]

@Cuddlebear I've been on the forums since late last year. 

I have to go to the shops and have an inspection to clean for. I'm about to do some washing. 

[Cuddlebear]

@Dreamy That sounds like a good plan. When is the inspection? Sounds like you rent too. Good luck with it I’m sure it will be fine. Ours was all good. 

You’ve been here a bit longer than me. 🙂 

Im just gonna make a coffee. Havnt had one since I got sick but I feel like one today. 

[Dreamy]

@Cuddlebear inspection date may have to be changed cos the time slot they have given me isn't suitable. But I'm still going to try and clean cos they aren't usually very understanding. Thanks. 

I'll chat to you a bit later. I really need to keep busy doing things at the moment and just taking a step back from here. 

[Sparky79]

[Blackcloud]

@Sparky79 some of these quotes in both this post and your other post from yesterday have really hit home for me, especially the third one - I want to point out a very specific line on that that stood out: 

“we put our healing on hold or began hating people because we are waiting on them to say two seemingly simple words… I’m sorry”

it all started from me being bullied and treated unfairly by peers back in primary school because of my selective mutism and so I wasnt able to stand up for myself that lead to me in treating members of my family since then (and I still treat them the same way more than a decade later now) the way that people back in school treated me. You treat the people that have cared for you like they’re the worst human beings ever because you don’t get the same treatment from others at anywhere else. That’s why I don’t believe in such thing as letting it go (like I would normally get told to) because in reality those things do actually stick with you forever, hence why I’ve developed that kind of personality to my family. Though my dad acts the similar way too actually…

Well considering how my mum continues to get mad at me whenever I act and/talk rudely or aggressively to her (even today) clearly shows how much she actually never cared about what I went through anyway, even though I told her about it in the past, but she still wants me to talk nicely to her… that’s part of why her and I don’t have a great relationship, despite us going shopping together normally on a fortnightly basis …😒

Well both my parents are as terrible as the people that treated me unfairly back in school anyway. Plus, my dad always has an emotional/anger type issues.

I can never have a better life. 😒

[Sparky79]

@Blackcloud I'm sorry that you experienced this in life, and the memes have had a positive effect on others as well.

I hated school, both primary and high school as well, (items removed) yeah I had a target painted on me, thankfully it wasn't physical I would put up with so much verbal abuse, especially as I had an extremely long fuse, but as soon as it turned physical I became like the incredible hulk and the bullies would back down immediately.

I never thought I'd have to put my next partner/s before my children or family, but I want to be happy and I can't bring myself to ever trust them with anything in my life again. I can't tell them anything as they'll find a way to use it to manipulate me. I'll never get a sorry from any of them, as they don't think they've done any wrong, they've justified their actions in their mind and now I'm the bad guy because I've set boundaries and have been sticking to them and reaffirming them. 

I think I've said this before, but, Time doesn't heal all wounds, it desensitises us, we adjust and learn to live with the pain.

We can't stop things from happening, but we can decide how we react to it, and what we do afterwards.

[Sparky79]

@Blackcloud You can always have a better life, sadly you can't let the haters, the jealous people know or be part of that better life. Thieves of joy I call them!

You wouldn't let someone into your home that would wreck your house or crap on the floor! well that's how I feel about my life, I'm not letting those feckers in, not even letting them look in the window! I can't trust them, they had their chance and they have shown their true colours, blood ties or not, never again.