Lived Experience Forum

[Lilly6]

Hello. I haven't posted for a while. I have wanted to offer support to others here but haven't felt able to do so. I don't know why I can't get to a better place emotionally, why I keep sliding back to feeling like it is pointless being around. I don't feel right. I feel depressed. I feel like I am never good enough. 
I have missed the members here that I interacted with when I was here before, I hope you are well. 

[Flying_Hams]

Hi @Lilly6
Nice to see you

[NatureLover]

Hi @Lilly6 ! Great to see you! 

I'm sorry though that the darkness is back. 😥

It sounds like there's no obvious reason for you to slide back into the depression?

It is possible to get some healing from the "not good enough" thing. I used to have that very intensely, all the time, but now it only pokes its head up occasionally and it's not nearly so intense. I hope that might give you a small bit of hope? 

Wishing you many warm wishes...

[Lilly6]

Hi @NatureLover @nice to see you too. I don't know why the depression is back other than possibly the schema therapy stirring things up. There has been a few things come up with family and other worries that could well have contributed too. I don't know. 

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Lilly6 

Good to see you, but sorry your depression feels stuck.

Maybe it is partly due to therapy churning up feelings, or maybe it is due to the state of the nation and the whole planet.  These are difficult times and with the onslaught of too many perfect images and perfect stories and perfect stroms it is hard to feel we can make a difference.

I spent a bit of time with Sounds of Silence early this year, learning the words and playing it. 

Its a great song.

[Lilly6]

@NatureLover Thank you too for your kind words. They did give me hope 💕💕💕 Wishing you warm wishes too. 

[Lilly6]

Thank you @Appleblossom I agree we are in hard times and nothing feels like it should. 
The sound of silence is a lovely song 💕💕

[NatureLover]

@Lilly6  I want to say well done for working through things in therapy. It's not easy, but so worth it in the end. 

I guess your depression might be from things coming up in therapy...but in the long term the depression over those things will lift, hopefully.

When I think of how much healing I've had through therapy, it's truly amazing. Of course it's not complete healing, as the damage will always be there, but it's enough to get on with my life. I'm hopeful it will be the same for you. ❤

[utopia]

@Lilly6 . You are not alone. We are all here for you and each other. You do not have to travel this road alone.

[Lilly6]

Thank you @NatureLover  I hope so too. I really do. Therapy has definitely helped already but still such a long way to go. Life I know can be beautiful but it can also really suck sometimes. 
It is not just stuff stirred up from therapy that is causing the unrest, some pretty big things have happened that I don't really want to get into here but definitely contributed. 
I am so glad you have had such awesome healing, that is truly wonderful. You really deserve that. I know the healing can never be a hundred percent as damage will cause irreparable change but what you have achieved sounds absolutely fantastic. 💕