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06-08-2022 10:26 AM
06-08-2022 10:26 AM
I'm stuck.
Reading through people's confessions, I feel that mine it's not important enough or worthy. People have gone through more, and I feel I have no right to waste their time by putting mine out there.
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06-08-2022 10:44 AM
06-08-2022 10:44 AM
Re: I'm stuck.
I’m so sorry you’ve been going through all of these really hard experiences. Sounds really emotionally draining and I’m hearing that you really want it all to change. And I reckon that’s a really powerful place to be in. You know what you don’t want.
I’m glad you posted. I logged on wanting to reach out and here you are.
You are 100% important and it’s horrible when the people who are meant to love you are the ones hurting you the most.
What’s on for the weekend?
I’m cuddling my dog right this second.
Do you have one too? They love unconditionally.
Sending virtual hugs in your direction
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06-08-2022 11:12 AM
06-08-2022 11:12 AM
Re: I'm stuck.
Just a few lines to say I fully identify with much of what you have written. Married young, stayed single etc., but although you say you are to blame for 'not being liked', I disagree. We are all a product of our experiences and they are all different. I'm sure that you have much to offer, but like me, are wary. I'm so pleased you have a child to love and protect. Make your child your life project but look after yourself along the way. And I thoroughly agree regarding looking past others' faults and assuming you have the right to expect the same from them. Take good care of yourself, @Tryingnot2lose. You're clearly very strong and have a purpose. I can only send best wishes that there is better ahead for you.
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06-08-2022 02:57 PM
06-08-2022 02:57 PM
Re: I'm stuck.
Hi and welcome @Tryingnot2lose
Everybody’s journey is different. Your story is important and worthy. The good thing about putting it on here is that you aren’t wasting anyones time as people can choose as to whether or not read your story.
Well done for being able to recognise the signs that in itself can be a difficult task.
I understand the feeling of would anyone care if I left and would any even bother to turn up to my funeral or if they would just feel obligated too.
The loneliness is so hard and yes I’m the outside world there is still the stigma and judgement. It’s hard to let others know to be able to create a support network.
I have been lucky as my GP recognised the seriousness of my issues and I now have a mental health team behind me holding me up.
I was also lucky to stumble across this forum and have been supported through my journey. There is no judgement or stigma on here as everyone has their own lived experience. Everyone his friendly and willing to share their story to help others through.
I hope you find what you are looking for here
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06-08-2022 08:12 PM
06-08-2022 08:12 PM
Re: I'm stuck.
You are not alone here @Tryingnot2lose . So many have walked similar paths. There are also others who have walked paths to die for, yet they also feel alone.
You have strengthened yourself for your child. Now it is about loving yourself and being kind to yourself so that you’ll be there to care for your baby.
I used to compare myself with the world and this only left me depressed. The more I wanted to do something with my life, they more I failed.
I had to learn that it’s okay to be kind to myself. It is not a sin to go gentle with myself. I was brought up being taught to think of self last, otherwise you’d be considered selfish. Yet neglecting my own needs meant I was selfish-er because I was hurting those around me.
We care for you @Tryingnot2lose and hope you find the connection you need on the forums.
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07-08-2022 06:54 AM
07-08-2022 06:54 AM
Re: I'm stuck.
@BPDSurvivor wrote:Yet neglecting my own needs meant I was selfish-er because I was hurting those around me.
This is so powerful, @BPDSurvivor ! Thank you.
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07-08-2022 07:04 AM
07-08-2022 07:04 AM
Re: I'm stuck.
Welcome, @Tryingnot2lose , it's good to have you here 🙂
A couple of things struck me in your post:
@Tryingnot2lose wrote:I don't want to go to the doctors because I don't feel I have the same support system to rely on.
I see this as even mopre of a reason to go to the doctor and get professional support...you deserve all the support available.
@Tryingnot2lose wrote:I let it slip to someone, they don't understand and admit they don't. It's done nothing but make it uncomfortable. I shouldn't have said anything, because no matter how much there is change in promotion of mental health, it's still embarrassing and feels like it shows weakness. And they judge you for it.
I feel that it's not you that's showing weakness here, but the other person. It's weak to not know how or not to want to deal with mental illness in today's age. To judge someone else for being supposedly "weak" is not a strength but a fault, in my mind. Everyone can be subject to mental illness in their lifetime, and facing up to it shows strength and emotional intelligence. I'm sorry that person let you down 😞
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20-08-2022 08:00 AM