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Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

Hi @Historylover I will try to summarise @Daisydreamer's post for you briefly - 

 

  • We believe it is important for folks to be able to talk about suicide and suicide ideation, within our service parameters - this includes our Duty of Care
  • SANE is not a crisis service and cannot provide crisis support for anyone who is currently unsafe. 
  • This basically means that if we identify that someone is at imminent risk, it is our obligation by law to contact emergency services on their behalf.
  • This is why we encourage folks to contact crisis services to ensure they can receive adequate support in those times where they are experiencing a crisis
  • For more information, you can read about our Duty of Care in the Safety section of the guidelines. We also have a privacy policy if you would like to know more about privacy. 
  • Conversations about suicide where you are currently safe at the moment are okay on the forums and don't lead to any reporting- just let the community know if you are safe and what support you are seeking

I hope this helps you to have a better understanding of how we respond to suicide risk and what we do in times when our members are unsafe.

 

If you do have any questions, or want to talk about our Duty of Care further, you are more than welcome to reach out to the SANE team at team@saneforums.org

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

In relation to your post @Historylover  I am so sorry to hear that you are so trapped in this. It seems you have been deeply traumatised throughout this situation, and thus feel you cannot trust the mental health system. When you say you can't get help anywhere, what would 'help' look like for you? If psychiatry is (understandably) not an option, have you explored avenues such as counselling or lived-experience mental health workers?

 

The mental health system is vast, and many who work within the field are aware of and acknowledge that there is a lot of abuse and systemic trauma happening within. Thus, there are certainly mental health professionals out there who could meet you where you're at, I guess the tricky part is finding them! You're always welcome to get in touch with the counsellors on the SANE Helpline, they are a kind and caring bunch who offer a non-judgemental space that might be suited to your support needs. Just a thought.

 

I hear that this is a terrifying thing to face, but I am glad that you are able to talk about it with us here. You deserve to feel heard and cared for. Heart

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

@Historylover 

Heart

Cant say a lot as going through own stuff.

 

Really resonated with this para "I just need friends and loved ones to work with – not help me. I don't need 'help'. I need trusted allies in the real world. I need human interaction in the real world"

 

 

Helping .... is tricky.  Naturally, "help" would be as needed and often reciprocal but it can be "front".

 

Today a lady said "Is there anything else I can help you with" from the mental health tribunal for my son.  It was a meaningless rhetorical flourish in a conversation that showed lack of communication within the "team" and thus a double booking that cannot be changed with 3 days plus weekend notice.  I just say "Thank you" and hang up with a weary heart.  

Heart

Wish it would work out for a lot of us here.

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

@Jynx, thank you for you thoughts. The problem is that my ex-psychiatrist taught me about psychiatry from the very beginning. He said that I had insight– perception, as he called it. He taught me much and I discussed my own findings with him. It was a fantastic relationship. Consequently, these days, when I meet a 'therapist', I am immediately able to assess their skill level and whether they could help me – or have the intention to do so.Those two I saw as I reached out for help recently only served to help themselves, invade my privacy and empty my impoverished pockets a little lot more. If only they had the decency to treat on a bulk bill basis. I could better relate to someone who thought of others first, not his own pocket. How much do they need? Perhaps it would help them to get themselves in greater perspective. Their exhorbitant fees are beyond me if all I get out of it is another bill. I can't keep going from one to another. Besides, he trained me to do things his way and they all have alternative ways – which is very confusing. I constantly have to weigh up whose advice to follow. I can't go off on a different tangent. They all want to medicate. He taught me to do without it as much as possible. I do and do well with it. Mine was an incredible psychiatrist and rebuilt me completely. Then ensured it would all be for nothing. My anguish was unbearable. To have been betrayed by someone who promised friendship, was my trusted confidante? It was unbearable. As I have said, I don't have 'mental health' problems, I have isolation problems, which he enforced on me, which have the potential to cause 'mental health' problems. No-one wants a friend who has no friends, and my history is all shared with him. How's that for a conversation starter? Or – do you believe in telepathy? My ex-psychiatrist and I have a telepathic connection. How many understand such phenomena? Have to pick our audience, that's for sure!

 

I can access ring in services but we not only don't always click, it's with a new person each time. No, this isn't a crisis line, it's better. We have friends here. People we have known for some time, who actually give a damn and can bring us comfort.

 

I have a dilemma and I just don't know what to do. Heart

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

Thank you @Appleblossom. Sorry you're going through a difficult time too. I hope we can turn our corners soon. Yes, @Appleblossom, so many rhetorical flourishes about. They just leave me feeling used for their own aggrandizement. Heart

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

In answer to your 'what would help look like to you?' @Jynx:

 

Help comes in the form of true friendship. I don't need help, just friends I belong with and to.

 

The first of those two psychiatrists mentioned just told me I was doing all the right things. Good money and he just got to invade my privacy a little more than has been done already. I know I'm doing all the right things. If it can't get me out of this hole, what then?

 

 

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

Mm I hear you @Historylover  - in my opinion/experience, many 'mental health issues' are often actually the result of unmet needs. And guess what? Relationships are a human need, not a want. We are social creatures by our very nature, and so it is no wonder that isolation often results in suffering. 

 

I can imagine that there the majority of our society who would stigmatise you because of your experiences. I'm on the fringe myself, and feel like there are folks like me out there who would find your conversation-starter a great point of interest and want to hear about how you experience the world. We who see the world through a lens of agnosticism and the magic of the mind can be hard to find though, this I know. 

 

I'm glad you have found such comfort in this community, it truly is a wonderful bunch here Heart

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

Hi @Historylover Smiley Happy.

 

I was on here a little earlier, but for some reason I missed this urgent thread of yours. I'm sorry.Smiley Sad

 

As usual, I simply don't know what to say. I can relate to many of your dillemmas so well, but I have no solutions to offer.Smiley Sad

 

I've spent most of my life hoping that one day, I'll stub my toe on a magic lamp, and I'll end up finding a genie who will grant me 3 wishes to get me out of my own nightmare. It's always seemed as if the only possible way I could ever reach a happy life is through some miraculous, magical turn of fortune like that.

 

I hope that, one day soon, you find your own genie lamp.

 

That's about as much helpful perspective as I can offer, I'm afraid.Smiley Sad

 

Be well.Smiley HappyHeart

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

You have a great understanding, @Jynx but you lost me when you said that some would find my experience a great point of interest and want to know more about how I experience the world.😕

 

I experience it just like everybody else and if they were 'curious', I would be offended. If they showed genuine empathy and wanted to get to know me as a valued, interesting person with intellect, interests, pain, experiences they could not have endured, I would respond similarly. I like (likeable) people. I love to mingle, to socialize with like-minded people. 

 

Telling people about having received psychiatric treatment is a no-go area. Even he told me to keep it to myself, so that people get to know me.

 

As for our telepathic connection, I'll give you a few examples:  Until several decades ago I could never get my head around evolution. One day while I was lying on my bed relaxed, he telepathized that we trace back through the different branches of the evolutionary tree until they all merge and there are no other branches, and we are back at the beginning – of life's evolution. I haven't explained it very well but I understood it completely. Back through simpler and simpler life forms. It was fascinating. He didn't use spoken words but explained it even better.

 

He used to stop me doing things which would harm me in any way, until these recent betrayals. I had a CT scan several years ago and if there had been a risk of harm, he would have stopped me – or so I thought. So I just hoped for the best. I hate these things being done to my body. Several years later I developed a thyroid problem. I couldn't believe that I had been through so much with my decades long recovery from a physical breakdown where I could not even sit in a chair without slumping onto the arm, and staying there as I didn't have the strength to correct. Many other illnesses resulted from it eg Diabetes II etc. So, the first thing I did was to e-mail him in disbelief...Dear......I have Graves' Disease. He made me go back and insert 'been diagnosed with' Graves' Disease. (Get the difference?) Then he telepathized that I should research complications from CT scans. I was horrified to learn that it can result in an immediate undesirable reaction or can cause a slow-burn reaction with symptoms showing several years down the track. You cannot imagine my trauma. To have been subjected to a potential injury without warning after already recovering from an array of life-threatening illnesses. I didn't have Graves' Disease. I had Iodinated Contrast-induced Hyperthyroidism. They had injured me. He told me to research it, become conversant with it and fight them. I did so knowing I had his backing. Several years later he withdrew his support leaving me with the reputation of being a trouble-maker. Nice, isn't it? I always wanted to ask those with Graves' Disease if they had previously had a CT scan, an arteriogram or cardiac catheterization. They can all cause Iodinated Contrast-induced Hyperthyroidism but doctors know that the general public doesn't know they have been injured and probably didn't even need the scan. I didn't.

 

Edit: I forgot to say they then wanted to ablate my thyroid with radioactive isotopes and leave me needing medical check-ups and medication the rest of my life. I declined, I again have a normally functioning thyroid, and don't need medication. My body recovered, with medication. My hair regrew, my pre-tibial myxedema is almost gone, my left eye's retracted lid is back to normal, and my drooping right lid is too. I can't recall if there were other afflictions. I don't want to.

 

He could tell me how much I sold each of my cars for. These are just a couple of examples of his telepathy. We have been connected for decades and until now, it had been a fascinating - even fun, experience. It showed the depth of our connection. I didn't know it could be a bad thing. The mind is truly an amazing thing. Some hear music in colour. I can't do that. I am a telepathic receiver to (only) him, and it's no longer fun. I don't usually transmit, just receive and I have read that is usual with women.

Re: May I speak of unpleasant things?

I think I was almost "accidentally committed" once. It's a real problem sometimes. You've been good at being real about your situation. Reaching out and "danger to self and others" are two different things. Confidentiality is duty of care to.

 

I've been down wrong practitioner roads before, and would like to give some friendly advice. Find someone who's got similar mental health goals. For me, going with whoever the G.P. first thinks of in single session turned out to be the problem. So, I shopped around for a practice that more about what I needed.

 

If you're into mind powers, you might want to find someone who does "Gestalt". It's a pretty well-grounded wholistic approach. My current person's a bit Gestalt and It's pretty refreshing. Either way, it pays to flip through some profiles are "get a read" on people before you trust them with your precious psyche, is what I'm saying.

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