Hi @coffeegirl
Totally right! The stories we tell ourselves are our biggest barrier ...
Typical story when we get rejected ...
"I didn't get that job so ... I'm not good enough"
and/or
"I didn't get that job and actually I don't deserve this great job"
etc.
The stories we tell ourselves are the biggest barriers we have!
Hmmm... some better stories are:
"I didn't get that job but I am always enough! Just haven't found the right job yet"
" I didn't get that job but I am just as deserving as anyone else! I just haven't found the right company to apperciate my awesomeness!!"
Great one @coffeegirl - handling job rejection includes telling yourself stories that are true about the situation! Not false stories based on fears...
Thanks 
Okay so as @coffeegirl pointed out our thoughts are powerferful; so monitoring our thoughts is a great way to help us handle rejection
... what else can we do?
We know that we might be prone to also feeling depressed at this time so ...
... let's think about some things we can do to ward off the black dog in these times
... one thing may be to include fun and pleasure in your days (research shows that scheduling and increasing pleasurable activities in your day can help with depression)
Here's what I did to handle rejection when looking for employment ...
- I made sure i had lots of other fun things to do other than looking for a job (going on favourite forums, long walks in sunshine and cooking
) - had at least 3 good mates supporting me during my search
- made plans about how to make it easier for me to eventually get work ... like getting to know bus routes/train station locations ... that way i knew where i could realistically apply to work and get there easily!
- I wrote up this sheet of NO's (no no no no no no) and then one YES at the bottom then after every rejection i would cross off a 'no' ... so just knowing that i would eventually get a yes after many rejections kept me motivated. This could work for you too
I'm going to check out what the experts say too ...
Can anyone else share some of strategies to help handle rejection when looking for work? @NikNik
Here are some expert tips for handling rejection ...
1. Put rejection in persepective ...
... so try not to take it personally (ha!! easier said than done!)
But seriously it's that thing again about monitoring your thoughts
... your thoughts are what dictate whether you end up taking something personally or not.
So ...
When we say 'I'm not good enough that company didn't like me' we feel bad
But if we say:
"Oh I know I have a lot to offer, but this just wasn't for me" we feel better, and it's the truth.
Plus no company sets out to hurt you or reject you ... don't take it personally.
Remove the 'it's personal' element, at least try to
2. Don't put all your eggs in one basket ...
Have more than one job on the go at the one time ... with internet applications that's nice and easy.
The important thing here is - give yourself the time needed to apply to each job properly - you wouldn't believe the number of applications I see with the wrong name (mine) or no name (theirs)!
And, by having another job (other than your first choice) waiting in the wings you won't feel the rejection as badly.
Makes sense 
More tips coming up soon ...
Do you have any ideas that have worked for you? @NikNik @coffeegirl
TIP:
Experts tell us ...
the reality of the job market is that it mtakes as many as 15-20 job interviews in order to land a job.
3. Learn from every interview experience
Contact the person who interviewed you and ask them - how did I go? I often wish people I've interviewed would call me and ask me that very question ... there is always something to learn from the interview experience.
Give the interviewer a call it will show interest and determination - impressive qualitites in a candidate
If you did not do well ... ask yourself did you come prepared to the interview? Sometimes when we are a little depressed or lack motivation we don't put a lot of effort into the interview because ... hey you go to so many ... but maybe that's letting you down.
Questions to ask yourself ...
Did I review the job description properly? The company website? Did I search the net to see what they're up to? Searched LinkedIn for info on people who work in that company ...
Rejection when you've tried really hard is very difficult to take ... you did your best and you shouldn't take it personally,
But rejection when you've only put in a half baked effort is expected.
So, deal with your negative thoughts, get some perspective and put your best foot forward to each interview. If you don't do well - LEARN from the experience.
4. Draw strength from people you know
We know being unemployed is an emotional roller coaster .. so it's helpful to have a support group
This is what I had, a group of buddies to help me along. That's not always possible, but online forums such as these are AMAZING! Encouragement is just a click away.
Gather a band of helpers and encouragers whilst you're on your journey back to work. They can help you (they may have a contact for you) ... but mainly through supporting you when you get those rejections and importantly help you
... celebrate when it's finally a YES.
I like it.
A few more suggestions for handling rejection ...
5. Handle rejection by refocussing
Job rejections getting you down? Maybe it’s time to refocus – could you be missing out on opportunities because you’re focussed too narrowly/broadly?
If you’ve been out of the job market for a long time due to illness, maybe you’re going for all sorts of roles related to what you USED to do ... is it time to refocus and go for jobs related to what you can do and well?
For example you used to work in retail, but that’s not possible now.
There are skills you practiced in retail that you can still do – just not in that environment.
Think about your own situation, what transferrable skills do you have that don’t necessarily relate to your previous employment?
For example in retail transferrable skills include ... customer service, filing, cash handling, time management, cataloguing and sorting, cleaning (yes).
Maybe you don’t necessarily want to work in retail anymore but you could do sorting or cleaning temporarily ... because once you get your foot in the door somewhere ... you could get noticed and ... as they say ... the rest is history.
Refocus your efforts if you’re not getting anywhere with what you’re putting out there, this will help you stay positive whilst you're looking for work and handling rejections!
We've come to the end of today's Forum ... thanks for joining me @NikNik, @coffeegirl and @Former-Member
Here are some final tips, pointers and suggestions .
- Talk to people who have recently employed, take them out for a coffee, ask them what they did to cope with rejection before they got a job
- Review your CV – is it spelled checked, is it perfect? You'll receive fewer rejections when your CV is fantastic.
- Practice your interview skills (with a good mate), doing things that are proactive will motivate you!
- Remember to keep sending out many applications to many companies but be organised ... don’t address it to Faye if it’s intended for Renee (important!!)
- Searching for work is a job in itself, stick at it, do it systematically, something will turn up. No ... No ... No ... No ...Yes.
- Develop your resilience:
That is ‘keep calm and carry on’.
Dr Guy Winch has a great TedX talk about resilience.
He says resilience is developed through many different ways ...
- Be compassionate with yourself, tell yourself positive things. Be your own best friend.
- Don’t ignore when you feel depressed/anxious/sad/scared etc. It’s a real feeling and should be acknowledged, once you do that and express it, you’ll feel better and gain strength from your ability to bounce back.
- Don’t convince yourself that you won’t succeed – do whatever it takes to stay strong and positive, watch your thoughts.
- Look at what others are doing, learn from their way of coping
- Reframe the situation – can you look at it from another point of view
- Visualise yourself getting the work you want. See yourself ... what you’re wearing, what you’re saying, how you feel when you walk in the door of your new employment. Really feel it.
- If you're really depressed contact someone, seek help.
'Til next time,
Have a lovely long weekend
Renstar 