Strategies to care for ourselves when caring for others

[outlander]

Hi everyone, 

it can be a challenge to care for ourselves when most of our time or energy is spent caring for those we love. I would love for us all to come together to share what we do to care for ourselves in hopes it may give others ideas on how they can cope with supporting others. 

These ideas can be anything. 

For me:

- i go for daily walks

-listen to music

-watch comedies 

-crochet 

what do you guys do to cope?

[Shaz51]

Hello @outlander 🥰

Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope ) is a good to look up 

@Krishna , @Determined , @Smc , @maddison , @hanami , @Tinker67 , @Scoo , @Faith-and-Hope 

--I like to play music 

---Play word games 

--- love my coffee

[Kyle1]

hi @outlander 

I've found a comedy movie is good tonic these days. Inspite of myself, I tend to laugh easily with jim Carey, or Jackie chan.

Cooking something from scratch can be gratifying. My counsellor tells me this is a sure way to get a dopamine release, so, OK... 

I should note that taking myself to see a counsellor (and my GP) regularly is feeling a lot like self care, too. Taking the time and being willing to accept help...helps! 😌 

Music, ofcourse. ... I listen to music everyday. And though I don't do it well, I do like to sing. As it happens, I learned recently that singing stimulates oxytocin, so, OK... Besides, many ancient cultures teach that existence itself was sung into being, so what could be more basic and benevolent than that?...

And poetry.

I came across a book a little while ago about someone overcoming depression, or managing their mental health, through contemplation of written works... Seems there is power in words, and it isn't just an idiosyncratic love of mine.

Last, but not least, I'd like to mention biblical scripture. I have found listening to recordings of the gospels beneficial.

Particularly at bed time...

[Determined]

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 

I like listening to music. 

Try to play music (armature at best)  but often don't have the brain space.

Going for a motorcycle ride helps bur often too run down and fatigued. 

I only go out on the bike when I am on my A-game as the margin for error is less.

it is a perfectly safe activity when risk is managed well. So I avoid riding when stressed or tired.

I did a commute with one of my boys on the weekend, dropping off for camp. Planned 6-7  hour round trip turned into over 9 hours due to holiday traffic but it was great. Just what I needed to finish the week and start the new week.  Something about the bite of the fresh winter air offset by the warmth of the machine (my bike is a bit of a toaster). 

[Shaz51]

hello @Kyle1 , @outlander , @Determined , @HelpfulHen , @Jewelbox , @yellowcorgi , @Ilovepenguins , @hanami , @Krishna , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Kyle1]

hmm... thank you, @Shaz51 

[JustWhelmed]

Hi outlander! 

I'm new to this forum, waiting to get some support from Sane 🙂

It's taken me 6 years to realise this; the best thing to "fill my cup" is catching up with basically any of my girlfriends. We mostly have kids, but all have busy lives, and I'll put it off forever (as there is always SOMETHING that desperately needs doing) but a month ago I actually had lunch with a friend (4 hour lunch!!!!) and the next day went for a walk with a different girlfriend. I can go MONTHS without seeing anyone.... but both of these friends contacted me later in the week and we all agreed we all felt SO much better. Obviously our dependents were still there and needy as ever but.... it was just easier.

I do garden every day, but that's kind of stressful as I get overwhelmed since I don't have time for it all haha

But yes, definitely spending non-partner/kid time.... amazing. Absolutely overdue for another one now, I won't leave it 6-12 months again.

[purplesneakers]

I like to watch "joyful" tv shows where I can enjoy what is going on without thinking or getting emotionally involved. I am a big fan of The Great British Sewing Bee and I'm currently making my way through all the Bake Off shows. There are a lot of seasons so that should keep me busy for a while to keep.

I'm also trying running as exercise because people talk about how it helps to switch off your mind... but I just haven't gotten to that phase of it yet (I am still struggling with the jogging and walking combo 😂).