T minus 4 hours

[ClockFace]

I have 4 hours to go until I have the ablation, nerves are really setting in. Had a magic pill to help, though I still have barbwire curling in my stomach, heart beating hard etc. 

Went for a drive with music blaring. Gonna bring my headphones down with me and blast them while I wait. 

I really dont get why Im so anxious, as Ive said before not my first rodeo. Will be my forth procedure for the year. Ive lost count on how many procedures Ive had in my life, especially in last year. I have regular procedures for bladder cancer, the last one went exceptionally badly. The numbing gel didnt get given enough time to work so really painful, maybe thats what it is. 

Cant wait to get it done and over with.

[Kyle1]

@ClockFace 

dear...

Wishing you all the best, malen.

I suffer anxiety, too. I've often found the anticipation itself is worse than the actual dreaded event. And somehow, once 'the moment' is upon me I am resigned and relatively calm in the knowledge there is nothing I can do from here. Except surrender...

I'm hoping it goes well with you today. Your mind is an ocean. 

Thank you for sharing.

[Historylover]

I hope it all went well, @ClockFace. Sending best wishes for your recovery. 

[ClockFace]

@Kyle1 @Historylover 

Unfortunately after a 5 week wait for the big day and then a further 4.5hrs in  the hospital all gowned up and ready to go my surgeon came and told me that they had to cancel as the surgery before mine went over time and the hospital wouldnt give him more time to do mine. 

I now wait for a new surgery date, no idea how long that will be hopefully the wait wont be long.

[Historylover]

@ClockFace, I am so sorry. That's not fair, is it? Now you have to go through it all again. I can't believe it. Thinking of you in your frustration. 😊😟🤔😖

[tyme]

Oh no @ClockFace !!!!

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened! I hope it gets sorted soon.