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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Isolated, alone and lonely.

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Gorgeous dog @MotherDuck 

 

it can be quiet on the forums. When I first joined years ago I waited a long time for responses. It took a while to feel a sense of belonging. In this world of instant communication it can feel like we are missing out, but not everyone online feels up for always giving support. The community has grown organically in a way… so please be patient with us. I have had trouble feeling comfortable in my skin, and gave up and became a dreadful nail biter. I have kind of relaxed and allowed myself to do that, as I well know worse behaviours. I need to go do my physio. Being grounded in one body is essential.

 

hope your walk and coffee was good.

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Hello @MotherDuck 

I’m so sorry not to have talked to you since last post ! I left my phone on the roof of the car and lost it 😳.

It’s back now (thanks to kind strangers). 

Thank you for putting up the photo of Max - he is adorable!!

How has the rest of your day today gone? ❤️

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Hello @MotherDuck,

 

I am so glad you are safe, and I really hope this thread shows you that you have support and community here. 💛

Your pup is soooo cute! We definitely need more pics of him. Does it help to have him around when things are feeling hard? 

Also, how was your counselling session?

(And what kind of coffee do you drink? 👀)

 

PS: Anything you want to talk about, please don't hesitate to throw at us, we've got you.  🥰

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

@AuntGlow @Semly @Appleblossom 

Just poured my morning coffee (I love a Latte ️)

Gosh you are all awesome, thanks for checking in - it's been very lonely last few days and I was sobbing to LifeLine on Sunday, *shudders* not a good day. I hadn't really seen my life past yesterday, truthfully so its all a bit confusing and I feel I'm walking around the unknown. I unfortunately forgot my medications for 2 days, remembering on the 3rd to take them again....well, I got lazy and said to myself "Ill just take them tomorrow". Ugh, anyway I have been keeping myself busy and occupied by filling up my calendar with activities every couple of hours, through till Saturday night and I'll probably continue on Friday to start where I left off on Saturday night. On there are walks with Max, doing my dishes (though I tend to keep skipping this activity), drink a coffee, ride my bike, journal, guided meditation -- they're on there. I just now have to get out from under the doona and complete them. I have finally arranged to catch up with a friend, who lives a couple of hours via public transport away, on Friday night for a sleepover and then I'm hitching a ride to the Brisbane Valley Rail Trail (BVRT) and we are going for a long countryside bike ride. I really want to go, but I'm so scared I'll cancel on Friday. I'm really nervous and anxious and feel physical feelings to Friday and Saturday. It's also been a long time since I've seen these girls, a long time I'm talking a good 9-12 months. So that's also been weighing on my mind. 

I've had a few days off work which is making more time to be stuck inside my head, I catch myself having conversations with Max which I've totally allowed 😅 here's another photo of Maxy for everyone to see and hopefully smile at! 😃 

Anyway, I don't realise I get into the zone and just start typing. I feel I've got so much to say but like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, I've lost my voice. 

Thanks for reading, hope everyone is safe and doing okay! 

MotherDuck

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

I talk to dogs, cats, birds and a few humans @MotherDuck. You have lots of good helpful strategies and I love that you are going on a train and.cycling trip. I took my little sister on a bike riding weekend once, in some gentle foothills. Hard work going up, lovely and freeing coasting down. Take care 

 

@Semly it’s great seeing you floating around the forums and giving support. 

@Tolly @AuntGlow @Shaz51 

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Hello @MotherDuck, I apologise for my very delayed reply. I thought of you today and wanted to check in on how you are doing? 💛

I know you mentioned feeling lonely and I wanted to say that I am so glad you have this space and Lifeline to connect with when you are feeling this way. That is why we are here! Life is hard and you have been managing a lot on your own. You're allowed to need help. 

Re: forgetting medication, I do that too! It's so easy to do, so please try to go easy on yourself. 

Your routine sounds very nervous-system friendly, I love it. How is it going? And how was seeing your friend? 

It's so normal for thoughts to flood us when we are on our own and without distraction. This is where movement, journaling, meditation, or even something creative can be really helpful. 

I am very much looking forward to your reply and promise not to leave our chats so long next time! xx - AuntGlow. 

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Hello @AuntGlow 

Your message honestly landed at the perfect time. Thank you for reaching out...it felt like a little beam of kindness 😊 I read it a few times because it made me feel genuinely seen and that doesn’t happen often. Thank you

Lately things have felt a bit like I’m underwater, watching life happen. I’m moving, surviving and keeping my head just above it but there’s this aching emptiness I can’t quite name. I think that’s the loneliness I mentioned before it comes in waves sometimes quiet, sometimes thunderous. But your words helped me breathe again for a moment. 😊

I’ve been trying to honour the little things like lighting my incense, journalling, walking ir patting Max I don't know... I feel like life is forever a to do list but doing these things I suppose they help me feel like I still exist when everything else feels blurry.

You're right about the meds being easy to forget but I feel like I’m failing at something that should be basic. Thank you for normalising that. It softens the edges of my self-talk.

My routine is still fragile but steady, like a baby bird learning to fly. Early mornings are my favourite, like this morning. There’s something sacred about the quiet before the world wakes up. I've got my warm cup of coffee asking write this before I start getting ready for work, which will be a great distraction. My work is very physical so the activity keeps me out of me head! 

Movement has been medicine. I’ve been doing short rides and little walks when I can. My journal pages are getting fuller too and messy, poetic, angry, grateful.some days I write, some days I just stare at the page but I’m showing up. That counts, right?

Your message reminded me that someone cares, that I matter, even in this in between place So thank you. Thank you for holding space, and for not giving up on our little chats!! 

MotherDuck

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Oh, of course! I am so glad that it has helped you. You deserve to feel seen and understood.  I am always here and will keep coming back to this chat if you'd like to continue with check-ins. 🥰 @MotherDuck 

I hear you with that sense of loneliness, it really does come in waves, doesn't it? I am sending you a big virtual hug (let me know if you get it!). 

I really like that you have these soothing strategies to turn to when things are blurry. I wonder what else your body and mind might be needing to feel more connected right now?

It really is. Is there one thing you remember to do every day? And can you put your meds in the same place so it's easier to access?

Ooh, I love how much you enjoy your mornings. They sound quite ritualistic for you. I am yet to become a morning person. haha but I feel this way very late at night. 

Tell me more about your work please! I also feel like being physically active helps me to get out of my head. Do you find moving meditation or somatic practices helpful at all?

Oh, that's so funny - I wrote that last sentence before I read 'movement has been medicine' - yes! It can be so incredibly healing. Journaling is wonderful too - I get the sense you'd be a very beautiful and earnest writer. 

And absolutely, staring at the page definitely counts. Speaking of, I have started a Sunday Intention Setting thread, would you like to join?

You really do matter @MotherDuck, and I am so glad you're sharing your journey with us. 💛

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Hello @AuntGlow!
I had this response all written up and I didn't even send it 🤦‍♀️
Your message honestly landed at the perfect time. Thank you for reaching out – even if it was delayed, it felt like a little beam of kindness.... I read it a few times because it made me feel genuinely seen so thank you
Lately things have felt a bit like I’m underwater, watching life happen. I’m moving, surviving, keeping my head just above it, but there’s this aching emptiness I can’t quite name. I'm experiencing strong 'paranoia/delusions' and had to leave work due to this, yesterday, so I think Ill book in to have a review.
Your words helped me breathe again for a moment 😊 I’ve been trying to honour the little things like lighting my incense, journalling, walking or patting Max. I don't know... I feel like life is forever a to do list but doing these things I suppose they help me feel like I still exist when everything else feels blurry.
You're right about the meds being easy to forget but I feel like I’m failing at something that should be basic. Thank you for normalising that. It softens the edges of my self-talk.
My routine is still fragile but steady, like a baby bird learning to fly. Early mornings are my favourite – there’s something sacred about the quiet before the world wakes up.
Movement has been medicine. I’ve been doing short rides and little walks when I can. My journal’s pages are getting fuller too and messy, poetic, angry, grateful.some days I write, some days I just stare at the page but I’m showing up. That counts, right?
Your message reminded me that someone cares, that I matter, even in this in between place So thank you. Thank you for holding space, and for not giving up on our check ins. I promise to practice being more consistent in my responses....I'm very isolated so it's nice to have someone. Like a pen-pal almost. 

Oh, yes please - count me in for Sunday Intention Setting. What a great way to kick off the week. I'll keep an eye out for a tag on Sunday and will follow the intention thread

Thanks lovely! 

MotherDuck 🦆

Re: Isolated, alone and lonely.

Happy Thursday @MotherDuck - that's so okay! I do the same sometimes haha

Aw, this makes me really happy to read. 

I understand that feeling of simply moving and surviving... I think your awareness around what is happening shows that you have the power to process and move through it. It's also okay if all you have the energy for is survival right now though. 

I am so glad I can help. 💛

I really do love your self-care rituals, they sound so nourishing. 

I get the forever to-do list!! I think that's why moments of genuine connection to things you enjoy are so, so important for an overall sense of wellbeing. 

Fragile but steady, I like this reflection. How do you nurture your fragility?

Rides and walks sound lovely! Do you dance? If so, there is a lovely movement meditation I can send you. 

Absolutely!! Anything you'd like to share? (It's okay if not, I am just curious about your poetry!)

I am so happy to be your pen-pal. 🤩 Please feel free to message whenever, you don't need to wait for my reply. 

Here is the intention-setting thread: 

Sunday Intention Setting - SANE Forums

Looking forward to your reply. 🥰