Thanks @EternalFlower Somehow I missed the notification til now.
I guess the short of it, I just kept logging on instead of doing the dreadful deed. Am still here, not sure it is "worth it" as such, but now that I am still here, kinda feel I am here for the duration. Is that recovery? idk. I would not be that certain, but a lady I once knew and liked used the phrase, "here for the duration". She passed 15 years ago.
I had an interesting day yesterday. Played, conducted in small rehearsal, and had a crossing of swords, and checking out of who the hell are you ... to say I am wrong in a delicato musical scenario, I admitted, moved on, was humble, survived it and then gave as good as I got ... laughing at him, pointing errors, taking the mickey etc. But there was good will and respect as well.
In a weird way ... my ego is not in music. ... beyond a bit a Skyhooks ... 'Ego is not a dirty word'. We cant achieve or do anything without a bit of ego, but a bolshie clown has finally emerged in me, which is a relief after all the seriousness, physical pain I have endured and the grief. For me, music is medicine.
Today, a brief bit of singing in a musos work. Was fun, a big deal, massive orchestra, standing ovations. I was one of hundreds on stage. Stood between 2 lovely people and had a great catch up in the break.
My son came and we went to sushi train.
Tmrw is another day, but I am finally looking forward, and plans are unravelling and I do feel I have permission to enjoy the rest of my ride here on the planet. I probably will not log on as much as I have in the past. We will see ... not making promises.... will do what I need.
Hope you are doing alright. All we can do is support each other, to be there, so you are ready when opportunities do come knocking.
Hugs
Gently Bently
Apple
