Skip to main content

Re: Isolation?

I suppose I talk about myself in a third person as I no longer know who I am.

I look in the mirror and don't connect to what I see what I have in my memory of who I was just doesn't connect with me. After the accident and experience in hospital then rehab I feel violated I know the nursing staff had to do what they had to do but to get through some of the events I disconnect from my body, it was like I was just observing someone else and I do the same thing with the pain. So I suppose I have yet to reconnect with myself and accept myself.  If I didn't have such a beautiful person as my wife I not sure I could have kept going through all this. 

I know there's many people who have been through much more and come out better for it. So I just keep saying just make it to tomorrow and I take on the next day then I just need to fight through today, but it is hard sometimes. 

Stay safe all I have gotten so much from this fourm and thought I don't post all the time I followed and hope the best for you all.

Scorpion

Re: Isolation?

Ok, i really just need to apologise firstly, i started this post and then not really added to it. i have been reading everything tho, but i have had some other things going on.

@Alessandra1992I have been trying to talk myself into reaching out to my other friends, but i can't seem to get past something stopping me in my head.... but you are right i do need to be a friend to have friends, the ones i used to party with, are some who have responded back to a couple of messages i sent out, but i am avoiding them a little bit, i need a bit more time getting my head right i thinks.

@Samarathank you for your reply, i knew when writing this post it was going to get some response, as i was sure i wasn't the only one feeling how i was/am, your answer well my take on what you have written is to keep myself focused on what i want to do in my life, and i will probably always have that one or two friends who stick by me.

@CherryBombI understand what you mean, i have another mate who i have known all my life, and he has his issues, he has been diagnosed with depression, so i know he sort of understands, except he can't quite grasp the concept of bi-polar, i think, like he gets the depressed parts, but then when i am up up UP!!! he thinks that is a good thing, because i am happy and carefree so to speak, he doesn't get the negative of it.

@Former-MemberLJ moving around and further away would certainly make friends harder to keep, the one mate i have at the moment lives about 45-50 min drive just to see him, so it's not just around the corner sort of thing, i know a few of my other friends who live in the same sort of area, or in other far away suburbs, have noticed that friendships do drop off, i am guilty of it myself....... to my friends who moved to nearly an hour away, i didn't see them as often as i could have. so i have created some of this isolation myself.....

@PeppiPattyi am grieving about losing my friends, well instigating the loss so to speak, and i am taking time and trying to get a good grasp on everything, i hope you are doing better with everything that has been going on for you

@LinmercHi linmerc, it is one good thing about life that friends will hopefully continue to drift in and out of it, i was just curious and by the response from everyone, i think it is definately something i need to be aware of is, that i do need to make more of a effort with perhaps old friends, and be open if any new friends come into my life. The people i am going to the footy with are all old friends, so no new ones, just people i haven't seen for awhile. I don't feel punished, like it is almost like a punishment, but i don't feel punished for having a Mi, i punish myself because i allowed myself to get so sick, by not taking care of myself. i like this "Friends that matter, don't mind and those that mind, don't matter."

@GothMum@SamaraBeing a guy, i never really understood what that used to mean, the clicky group etc, it is definately more common amongst females, however, in my later years, looking back, i was into sports, so i hung around my mates who played sports, so without even realizing it back then, we do go for a clicky group,

@SimpleAsThisI just have to say, i really like what you have drawn/painted thank you very very much for posting it 🙂

@SCORPIONThank you for sharing my friend, i know it would not have been easy typing it out, but maybe it has helped a little? serious trauma, is life changing, i know a couple of friends of mine who have had some pretty serious injuries. I am really glad you have your wife to help support you through it.

You sound very much like me, the way you described yourself, make friends from strangers etc etc, it would have been quite a shock to the system waking up in trauma, and then spending the time that you spent there, ketamine is a tranquiliser it would have kept you quite floaty feeling in the head, a good one for that sort of pain recovery management i have heard.

I really would have thought they would have at least guided you/informed you a lot gentler then oh this is for that and for this, and oh your going home, it's one thing i have found with everyhospital etc, they don't tell you the patient anything, until it's like ok you have 5 mins to clear the room. i wish they would keep patients more up to date then what they do currently.

i again thank you for sharing

it didn't bore me one bit

 

Again Thank you to everyone who has posted i apologise if i missed replying to people

Re: Isolation?

@kato 

Special man..im going to get back to couple of people but let me write this about you..😊we are like minded buddies arent we. 

This morning when i was doing my things, feeling more relaxed than ever, you crossed my mind and ......i felt NO anxiety about your court that i must have been thinking about in my deep dark archives of my brain.

 

How are you?  

 

 

Re: Isolation?

@PeppiPatty

I am actually doing and feeling pretty well, thank you for asking, i over the weekend, was asked by my old boss to come in on saturday and sunday to help out with a sale event, and sunday evening he offered me my job back, i already had a feeling this was going to occur, i had, had previous conversations regarding it in the last few weeks.

I said yes, so i am now emplyed full time again, which i kinda needed because i have large debts accrued and i really need to be able to pay them off quicker. He is a pretty good guy, he asked me, (and i will warn people this will come across wrong, unless you know him) he asked me if my head was right? which i believe it is. he then also wanted to know if he would be getting the (insert my real name here) that he likes the one who is on time and happy, again i believe so. and to just confirm that he is actually a nice boss, (he knows i have bipolar already) he said to just keep him up to date and informed if i find myself struggling at all.

I am glad/relieved to be able to return there to work, as i get along with everybody there really well, and i am hoping this is a fresh start that i think i was looking for/need to help continue my journey to a better wellbeing.

Re: Isolation?

wow, full time work - congrats 😄

Re: Isolation?

Well done hope all goes well.
Scorpion

Re: Isolation?

@kato hey dude, 

 

Full Time work...that actually feels right ..........

I want to snicker snicker when i ask it is.....what do you think you.....former......friends would think.

You were always very honest with them werent you, about the past say 2 years ..now the court  case over done and dusted, all of your past is dealt with and even your boss being kind......

 Bit like a new beginning.

I wonder if there is new workers there at your work? Personally, i believe whatever you need usually falls in your life....its about being at one with the universe and having your feet on the ground. 

Golly  @kato 

Like like how your boss is asking about bipolar but would it be too forward......if you asked him of he could get a poster like explanation of what bi polar is? 

I remember my husband being laughed at in a shop and the .....  week after , i went in with a Dvd of 'Beautiful Mind,' starring Richard Crowe. And asked the shop workers to watch it.

You know....about being in the universe and just being as you are.........im a firm believer in that. You have been honest. 

 And being positive helps.

 

You have always been there for us like minded buddies online. 

 

 

 

 

 

Grow grow....no one would expect this.......

Re: Isolation?

Hey @PeppiPatty

I have always been pretty straight up about everything that was happening over the last two years say, altho i did leave out a few pieces that they do not need to know about.

There are a few new people there, i had a rather strange meeting today with a higher up boss who is new, who was rattling on about how he doesn't care what he has heard about me in the past, he is focused on me now and in the future, so that was good, that he seems not to have any pre-conceived ideas about me.

I know the people at my work colleagues wise don't really know that i have bi-polar or if they do i didn't disclose it myself, i felt it only neccesary to inform management really, not that i am trying to hide it, i just feel it's my own business, and it doesn't concern them etc

so far i am just easing into it this week, i already had things planned so i am not working every day, but i am from next week on, they have made quite a few changes so it is a bit of a learning curve, but thankfully i already understand the basics, so it isn't too tricky

Re: Isolation?

Hi Kato

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on your employment. Well done! I was also glad to read you are easing your way back into working life. Your employers sound like they are really understanding of MI and are trying to accommodate you. Look after yourself and your mental health.

I don't understand in your post to me that you 'allowed yourself to get so sick, by not taking care of yourself'. I hope you have learnt to take better care of yourself.

Please keep us updated on your new job as I hope it all goes well.

Stay strong
Linmerc

Re: Isolation?

Hmm@kato......

It sounds like your correct on your boss 

 

You must be a great salesperson. 

Call me a cynic though............

 

Could you prepare a couple of kind but strong comments to your other floor people because :

 just  

That  its usually all about office gossip .........and you have worked hard in your own recovery ......

You deserve something strong but kindly said......' up your sleeve? ' 

Am i being over cautious ?