TW: Hello, My Name is Newbie

[JPEG1998]

Hi everyone. I am very new to using the forums on the SANE website, and I am already liking what I see; these forums are actually very similar to the ReachOut forums that I am currently using. 

I thought that I would start using the SANE forums as I will be turning 26 early next year, but in the meantime I will continue to use private counselling, SONDER, ReachOut and Kids Helpline. The support that has been offered to me over the past six years from the aforementioned counsellors has been incredibly commendable - and to I dare say it - much better than the public health system in my state (which has been inconsistent and a huge let down). Everyone involved has assisted me through some of the toughest times that I honestly thought would destroy me. I am going through a tough time at the moment, and I would really like to share that with you. I think that it would be heathy to share my thoughts and feelings with you, but I obviously need to ensure that I do not intentionally or unintentionally harm anyone.

I guess that I could start from the beginning. I connected with this amazing man on Tinder, and we hit off pretty quickly; it got to the point where we then agreed to start talking on Snapchat. This man and I shared innocent enough snaps of our days to each other at the beginning, before we moved on to sharing nudes to one other consensually. I believe that I learned a fair bit from this man, and what I learned from him is that he is successful in life, working for a successful business. He's told me that he is flat out from his circumstances, and I told him that I am a very understanding person. But am I really an understanding person? I think I am living in denial by saying that, because I am really insecure and want attention all the time. Having left a relationship where his ex-girlfriend was abusive to him, he is not looking for anything serious right now from anybody. And while I not only feel for him, I am ultimately unable to help but feel like an idiot, too. I initially joined Tinder to make new friends, and he knows this, but since talking to this man, I have concluded that I am actually looking for a relationship. I never forced a relationship on to this man, and I never would, as I have a lot of respect for him. We had been chatting for about a three and a half weeks before I called things off with him. I said something pretty cruel to him about his ex-girlfriend, which really upset him. He told me not to ever contact him ever contact him again. I wish that I could apologise to him but unfortunately there is no going back now. I've lost someone amazing 😭

[Snowie]

Hi @JPEG1998 and welcome to the Sane Forums.

I'm sorry to hear that you have lost a friend. It is so hard to make proper friendships in the first place and to loose them is super hard. I hope you do find some closure.

I hope you find the Sane forums really supportive like I do. There are so many wonderful people around here. The support and friendship on here certainly goes both ways. Please feel free to look around and jump in on any conversation happening.

Just a note, if you would like to tag someone just put a @ in front of their name.

[JPEG1998]

Hi @Snowie,

I am just wondering if there are moderators on the SANE forums who join in on our conversations? 

[Jynx]

Hey @JPEG1998 and welcome. I'm one of the Peer Support Workers, and there are also moderators who are around overnight. As PSWs we utilise our lived experience of mental health issues to provide support and connection to our members. Our PSW and Moderation team are also here to ensure our members are safe. 

Here to answer any questions you might have too! 😊

[JPEG1998]

Hey @Jynx ,

Lovely to meet you 😊

I am not sure if you have read my original post, but there has been an update on what has been going on since I put this post up. 

I decided to add him back on Snap, only to apologise to him for making him upset. He accepted my request, saved my snap but then left me on read (please note that I did say that he did not have to reposed to my message). He has also been viewing my stories! So, I really do not understand what is going on here. Although, I have thought of one of two options; he's either a; not interested in me anymore, b; giving me the silent treatment, or c; I've rendered him speechless and he's waiting to respond. I honestly think that it's a, because he told me point blank that he wasn't bothered if I stayed or if I left him. 

[JPEG1998]

Hey @Snowie ,

It's lovely to meet you too 😊

I've since added a new comment to the thread and I did actually mention in my apology to him that I felt like the I lost a good friend. Crickets. Nothing. It's honestly hurtful and disrespectful. 

[Jynx]

@JPEG1998 perhaps some time will help you to have a clearer picture. It can be so frustrating not realy knowing for sure how the other person feels! I always find that a good distraction can really help when you're in that waiting zone. And maybe give yourself a time frame - e.g. if he hasn't responded within a few days or a week, you can continue to presume it's option a and begin to take steps toward moving on.

 💜

[JPEG1998]

Hey @Jynx ,

I ended up removing my apology, because I just feel that he's too ungrateful to respond. I have also given him five days to respond to it, and he obviously hasn't bothered to do as such. 

[Jynx]

@JPEG1998 sounds like you're setting yourself some solid boundaries there, good stuff. What are you doing to look after yourself in the meantime? 

[JPEG1998]

Hey @Jynx ,

I'm sorry that I haven't been active on here. He FINALLY responded to it, almost a week later.