I'm glad you understand. And that's the hard part of our role. Sometimes, we have to pull the reigns a bit because we have to be mindful of our audience.
I've shared in the past that out of everyone on the forums, about 79% are viewers and the rest are users. This means, the majority of people come past to 'view' posts and never actually post.
Hence with moderation, we need to see the 'big' picture.
And yes, anonymity then is a big thing we focus on. There have been times when members want to get to know others in real life. I totally get this. A the same time, this is not really the forum to do this, as the main idea if for this space to be anonymous.
Hope this clarifies some of the intricacies of peer work!
Keep being amazing my friend. We value you for being you and all your contributions.
I've worked on tracking data to see which are the 'busy' days, but I've never found a trend. I just know that evenings are heaps busier than mornings @Till23 .
As for how you feel at the moment, it is our body's natural rhythm to have these feelings in the evenings. This is evolutionary where people had to be more alert in the evenings as a way to stay safe. Hence, our evolutionary brain produces chemicals to keep us more alert. Know this is normal.
The big question is, What do you do about it?
At this very moment, I have a mindfulness program playing for my niece to help her control her breath and go to sleep. I wonder if this might be helpful for you too?
Yes @tyme the difference between mornings and evenings is quite stark. The day variation not so much and some times there's a variation depending what is in the "news of the day" or some viral post!
I have been slack with the NAIDOC stuff though. I have been impacted by this dissociative episode.
Yes I am aware of circadian rhythms and the cycles of cortisol etc releases (in "healthy people" actually cortisol rises just before awakening so you can get up).
Yes I have a wind down to sleep routine and when I am well, I have no problem falling to sleep for past many years. However, when I have a particular "thing" occurring or been "triggered" (that word is so over-used) it is different. There is adrenaline surge, which in the day I would immedicately address with physical activity if possible. Yes I sometimes do some squats or push-ups at night.
I do need to address the "argument" with psych though, I feel pressured because I am now paying $230 a session because my MHCP sessions have been used up until next Jan. Something so needs to be done about that ridiculous situation of funding for MH
Hi @AuntGlow@tyme (although I think I remember reading in another thread last night that tyme was not going to be on the forums for a couple of days. I could easily have got that wrong though - so decided to tag tyme anyhow)
I was saying yesterday that I was worried about my psych appointment today and it seems this concern was not completely misplaced. The psych told me they thought it would be better if I saw someone who was more experienced with dissociation. It's interesting because I have described dissociative episodes before and that didn't seem to be a problem then.
So anyhow, in my mind I have decided it's because I must be not a nice person or too complex or whatever.
So it's not a good feeling at the moment. I am trying to keep myself busy, but it's a bit difficult to concentrate - I have chopped some firewood which is good physical activity. Unfortuantely it's cold and windy where I am. I am going to do a bit more ironing I think.
Your post is very interesting. I like how you mentioned "in my mind I have decided it's because I must be not a nice person or too complex or whatever". I like how you were able to separate your mind from yourself and it seems that there is space to 'work with' this thought.
Sorry if I sound confusing.
So in other words, you are able to reflect that this is what your mind has decided as opposed to YOU have decided.
In that space, we can also work with:
- the psych knows they are not equipped with the skills to work with higher levels of dissociation and therefore, they may feel it is not right to keep you paying for sessions that may not help in this aspect.
- the psych is aware that dissociative episodes are one of your bigger concerns at the moment, and they want you to have someone who is more specialised in this area.
Thanks for your response @tyme I thought you weren't on tonight, but here you are. Sorry about tagging you Peer Support Workers who are obviously busy, busy, busy! I am having a few things happening at the moment.
Well the way I have written sounds more calm than it is, yes it is in my mind, but that's because that's what you think with.
The separation between thoughts and reality is not as obvious in how I feel. The therapeutic alliance with this psych is complex as she is the one I saw during both of my cancers.
She is aware of, and we have spoken quite a bit about dissociation I had during radiotherapy, because that was how I got through radiotherapy. I would not have been able to be restrained on the table absolutely not moving with people touching me without dissociating as I had my hands tied above my head during some CSA incidents which was almost identical to radiotherapy.
So we have been dealing with dissociation for a couple of years but after a kind of argument last week, suddenly someone else is required.
I can think of many reasons that she no longer wants to see me. Yes I am complex and I'm not going to suddenly be better tomorrow, but that's not news either. It kind of feels like she has given up or I'm just too horrible.
So of course it feeds into the Not Good Enough.
Anyhow, no sense in complaining about it here, I have to find a way to keep putting one foot in front of the other. There are plenty of other people in worse situations and that's where resources should be directed
