@PeppyPatti definitely. I did two workshops that have really helped me. The first one was called "How to say NO". I have been a people pleaser up until 3 or 4 years ago. I would always put other people's needs before my own, even if it meant I suffered because of it. And I would get myself in situations where I did things I didn't want to, but I didn't want to upset the other person. And really at the time, I never thought saying NO was a choice I could make.
I would be run ragged running around helping other people, which resulted in me not having enough time to do the things that I wanted. Which was making me very frustrated, but I didn't know how to change things back then.
But now I think of myself first when people ask me to help them with something. A guy the other day asked to see a photo of me, and I said no. Usually I would take one and send it off. And every time I say no to something that I would have done in the past, I am proud of myself.
The other thing I did was to stop associating with family and friends who were negative or non-supportive or just not a nice person. Lol This has reduced the anxiety that I was going through.
The second workshop was called "Women are Strong" this one was amazing. It taught me about having personal boundaries and core values. Which I didn't realise was such a thing. This is something else that you learn from childhood. If my partner treats me poorly in any way and it is crossing any of my personal boundaries, i now tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable, and I will not put up with it. I even left him for 3 days and stayed at my mums at one point, to show him that I would not put up with it. He got the message. I stand up for myself a lot more now and won't take shit from people. I now have the confidence (in most cases) to say something if I don't agree. I felt so empowered after doing the course.
So yes, I have come a long way compared to 6 years ago. I am just about to start some therapy for my PTSD issues, as it causes me a lot of problems at night when trying to sleep, and then things start to snowball from there.
Thanks for listening. I hope you have a great day today 😊
awww @PeppyPatti it sounds like you have been through a lot. 🤗
You are so correct about age being a peaceful thing. The older I get, the less crap I will allow myself to deal with. i spouse you have put up with so much through your life, and you reach a point where you are no longer going to put up with it anymore, so you take actions. If only we could have lived our lives knowing what we know now. But I suppose that's what aging is all about, learning.
And you do not need to feel ashamed or say sorry about the "$20". You did what you had to, to survive in the situation that you were in. At that stage in your life, you wouldn't have had the tools to use, so you could make better choices. I have been there as well, and I have started to forgive myself for the bad choices I made back then. And now that I know why I end up where I was, I find it is easier to forgive myself.
I haven't done any trauma therapy yet, but it is something that I will be doing soon, once my health issues settle down. I still can't cope with people mentioning to me, about certain traumatic events in my life. I just tell them to shut up and not to talk about it, as it triggers my PTSD. I remember telling my partner to stop talking to me about it and he said that he feels he needs to talk about it, so I told him to talk about it with a therapist and not me.
Please be kind to yourself ❤️
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Good morning everyone. Sending you all good thoughts and strength for the day ahead,
@Jynx @Bunniekins @PeppyPatti @Dreamy @REDLINEZ750 @ENKELI @Judi9877 @Glisten @AuntGlow @MJG017 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @tyme @Blackcloud @Ru-bee @Emelia8 @avant-garde @RiverSeal @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Chasingsunsets @TAB @AlwaysMyself @DownMoreThanUp @Asgard @Harmonium @GezzaP @SmilingGecko @Ainjoule @Bon_courage @Oaktree @heartathome @fruitisgood @NightFury @lonemushroom @The-red-centaur @creative_writer @Meowmy @Bow @Dimity @Till23 @0ddsidian @Sparky79 @Jacques @RebelliousAngel @SleeplessRaven @Sugarshack @StuF @Kashmina
