Trauma and the family courts

[Ilovepenguins]

@EternalFlower @Valiant83 @Kyle1 @Owlunar @amber22 

Thank you all so much for your support and responses, and I do apologise for going M.I.A in the middle of such a great discussion! 

[Ilovepenguins]

Hi @Owlunar,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry that you've had to endure losing a child, i can only imagine how devastating that must have been for you and then to have to go through the courts and have all that anger on your shoulders. 

You have so much strength to be able to come back to that journal, years later, and be able to reflect on and recognise that anger 😊 your story sure gives me some hope!

[Ilovepenguins]

Hey @Kyle1,

Thanks so much for sharing your feelings on your experience, yeah, it really does feel like you're being dismembered - just to line the pockets of an industry that treat it as a game, yeah?

I'm really sorry that you haven't found a way to deal with it 😔 

I know for myself, hearing the injustice of others in a similar position doesn't really help the anger side, it kind of just riles me up a bit more. Do you get this feeling too? I've been putting that anger into educating myself more on just how widespread this injustice really is so i can fight it later on when i get through it now 😃

Hey yeah, that phone call is pretty uncanny, isn't it!

I'll always be floating around the forums if you ever feel like having a good rant about the system's injustice 😁 

[Ilovepenguins]

Hey @Valiant83 

I'm so grateful that you shared your story and I'm sorry that you too, have been through the awful experiences of the family courts.

Unfortunately I'm not in a position to be able to pay for representation other than a legal aid funded lawyer, which has put me at a disadvantage before and would seem, yet again. That's ok though! I've learnt so much since the last time and having had my hope topped up even more by your story and advice, I have a lot of hope that I'm in a position to stay stable to fight for the best interest of my child 😁

[Ilovepenguins]

Hey @EternalFlower 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and feelings on the trauma that the court system faced you with.

My experience has very much been the same as you described and it's so awful to think that it's common practice to cause such harm 😔

[Valiant83]

That’s it @Ilovepenguins the court will keep your child’s needs front of mind and you are the best person to be with them as they grow up 💜

[Kyle1]

hi @Ilovepenguins 

Yeah, I do find myself angry about it on occaision. Mostly sad, frustrated, miffed, cynical...sometimes mad.

Yes, it does feel like a sick game. Especially once you realise everyone else in the room is getting paid to be there...

All the while, our society expects we keep on smiling, prove ourselves well adjusted and friendsome, contributor to community, etc, etc...

Sometimes I find myself alone in my car yelling out to the world at large "fark off!"

[edited by moderator]

Sometimes, I just crumble.

[Ilovepenguins]

"All the while, our society expects we keep on smiling, prove ourselves well adjusted and friendsome, contributor to community, etc, etc..." 

@Kyle1 This reminded me of a time in an open court, the mother of one of the other cases was crying and asking the judge when she'd see her son again and the judge replied with "You'll have to put your emotion aside....". That memory has plagued me since and for me, has always fallen under that unrealistic social expectation. Emotion is life and coming back to your comment about being dismembered, losing full-time access to your child is like losing a limb. Those emotions should never be downplayed by anyone or be asked to be put aside!

Hahaha I'm certainly no stranger to the loud, private car, f bomb drop 🤣 The song, Drop the World by Lil' Wayne and Eminem is also a favourite to smash out when I'm feeling that intense anger surging as well as some really loud heavy metal 😁