Lessons Learned

[Magpie22]

Hi all 

thought we could start a thread to share what we have learned that we wish we’d learned earlier. 

I had a health crisis last year along with some mental health stuff and personal life stuff. Lots of friends reached out to me to offer support, and in the past I never felt safe to let people help me - to show vulnerability. I am the helper, not the helpee. But I needed help, and asking and receiving help was not actually as scary as I thought. 

[Oaktree]

@Magpie22 

I am not sure I have learnt it yet but something that I want to learn is how not to self sabotage myself. I have to find out why I am doing it and work out how to head it off at the pass. I am going to speak to my psychologist about this today…

[ccau_82]

Great idea 💡 my main lesson learnt is not to give too much of myself away in service to others. I can't run around the island trying to save all the boats. What I CAN do is look after myself and share, stay accountable to myself and model that behaviour like a lighthouse to other veterans. @Magpie22 

[tyme]

Wow @ccau_82 , that is an amazing analogy @ccau_82 . Thank you so much for sharing. It's really gold.

A lot of us want to 'save' everyone else, but unless we are well ourselves, we simply can't save others.

Take care of yourself.

[Oaktree]

@ccau_82 

I love your self awareness that you can't save all the boats.

Your lighthouse analogy reminds me of one of the moderators who used to work at Sane.

His avatar was a picture of a lighthouse to represent hope. He made me think more about my avatar and that's why I picked an Oak tree. It also represents hope. I then changed my username to match lol. I have grown to love it. I have to turn off my helper reflex somehow. As a peer worker people don't want advise from me. They just want unjudgmental listening. I am a mother so it's in my nature to try and mother everyone. I have to learn not to do that. It can represent quite a challenge.