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iwanttodie
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What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

Tried to work several different jobs only to be dropped off. Tried to study several different times only to drop out. Tried eating healthy, exercising, getting sunlight, therapy, volunteering and antidepressants. I truly wanted to be able to have an independent life and have a family. That was my dream and it was taken from me. I can't live independently if I can't work or study. I'm stuck in hell where everyday I wake up, it is a nightmare. My father has lived on disability his whole life unable to keep a job or study. I don't want to live like that. I want to die. My mother is supporting me right now. Without her, I probably would be lying on the side of the street in the middle of nowhere like a stray dog.

12 REPLIES 12

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

Hey @iwanttodie ,

 

I'm sorry to here it sounds to tough for you and your dreams seem to have been taken away from you.

 

You are not alone. 

 

Who knows what the future will bring? You write your own book. 

 

I'm here if you need a chat.

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

@iwanttodie  it was noam chomsky who said "no one should be forced to rent themselves out in order to survive".  I discovered the work of David Graeber who understood the nature of work better than anyone.

 

https://www.atlasofplaces.com/essays/on-the-phenomenon-of-bullshit-jobs/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpoJIkqEXYo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kehnIQ41y2o

 

As a culture we are reduced to units of production which means we are divorced from what it means to be human - cultivating meaningful relationships and communities - organising resources fairly.  Instead we are doing the opposite and our identity and value as humans are derived from being units of production or consumption and nothing else.  A systemic exploitation that uses you up and discards you on a whim - kind of like an abusive relationship.  In fact as a renegade economist and survivor of domestic violence I found the 5 steps of capitalism are the same 5 steps of an abusive relationship:

 

                         Capitalism                               /  Vs         Abusive Relationship:

1.Extraction - extract resources out of the ground / or extract your first victim out of a crowd

2. Exploitation - exploit the resources for money/political influence / abuser exploits victim for money, sex, emotional/psychological abuse, power etc

3. Exhaustion- exhaust the environment in process of exploiting it / exploit victim until they become exhausted in the relationship

4 Collapse - environment collapses / victim unable to withstand constant abuse-is no longer providing perpetrator of supply

5. Discard - environment is discarded and capital looks for other resources to exploit elsewhere / perpetrator discards their victim. Looks for next victim to start process over again

 

When I was younger and more naive I used to think like you.  Then the GFC happened and people started questioning the system.  Someone once said he does not work FOR his employer he works WITH his employer so he does not get defined by his workplace.  Are you able to find a way to value yourself other than being a unit to be exploited for money?

 

I was in a dark place in my early 20s, I couldnt keep a job (too many narcissists/bullies who knew how vulnerable I was and targeted me), had ptsd, came out of an abusive family.  My parents supported me while I took some time off.  I was lucky and grateful they were there for me and I wasnt on my own.  Just help your mum out if you can (eg housework etc) while she supports you. You will find your feet eventually.

 

Also, try and think differently about disability....We live in an ableist / eugenicist society, employers are very discriminatory towards people with disabilities.  Your father would have found it very hard to find work.  I used to work as an employment consultant.  It is ruthless out there if you are disabled so much so you have to hide your disability to get a job.  We need to cultivate a kinder society.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n1l_YfdFgU

 

David Graeber talks bullshit jobs and the concept of work under capitalism with Real Media and the Real News Network. Visit http://therealnews.com for more stories and help support our work by donating at http://therealnews.com/donate.
David Graeber on the Value of Work. Does the world really need neuroadvertisers, PR researchers and branding consultants? Renowned academic and coiner of the 'we are the 99%' slogan, David Graeber is a passionate advocate for meaningful work. After famously condemning the 21st century phenomenon ...

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

Thanks for your reply @scruffypuffball. It's good to know that some of my past jobs that I was doing were 'bullshit jobs'. I remember I would even question why I was doing them, when they could simply be automated tasks. The funny thing is that one of the only times I've felt like I was doing something worthwhile was while volunteering (helping the community). I understand disability and welfare payments. What scares me is what others think about it. Like you said 'we live in a ableist/eugenicist society...'

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

Hi @iwanttodie, the satisfaction you found volunteering demonstrates where real emotional rewards can be sought. Community values are very fulfilling, unlike bullshit jobs!

 

One benefit of getting older is you care less and less what other people think.  Try to cultivate that attitude, and do what you want to do. It’s your life, live it in the most fulfilling way possible.

 

 

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

We're often hugely ambitious about our plans for happiness, picturing the years of joy we want to set in motion. However, at points, we should realise the greater wisdom of learning to enjoy the day already in hand, and drawing satisfaction from that most precious and most neglected of units of ...

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

@scruffypuffballI really like your take. I'm a fan of Chomsky also. Have you studied econ and pol formally?

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

@Cactus1 I did a business degree (bullshit degree).  So I studied a bit of economics there.  But otherwise self taught.  Chomsky said school/uni will not teach you how to think critically, you have to do it yourself.

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

@scruffypuffball 

So what do you thnk the way forward is? Chomsky talks a lot about organising, do you think we should be doing more of that?

Re: What am I meant to do if I have exhausted all options?

Hi @Cactus1 

 

Hedges has some ideas he would know.  I would say do anything that prevents you from succumbing to utter despair, even connecting here at Sane keeps you from doing that.  Could be organising, resisting (peacefully as he says below), or as Maslow said detaching from the corrupt culture and finding your own value system away from the (mainstream/corrupt) culture.  He said self actualised people do that.  It could be small acts of resistance for eg: see how Liverpool dealt with the Murdock press after Hillsborough...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V36dzXoqguw