Night Shift

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @eth

The meaning of "stricture" is a restriction on a person or activity, or a sternly critical or censorious remark or instruction.

So a "social stricture" is a restriction placed by social "rules" of the society you live in.  

Of course these rules differ between cultures and societies to some extent, and we are talking about life here in modern-day Australia.

Even if governmental laws change, there has to be social acceptance of differences too, otherwise people are still subject to remarks and comments, or being socially mistreated despite what the law supports or not.

It will take time to relax the strictures that have been in place that have defined what is acceptable or not up to this point in history, and new social boundaries will emerge.

I don't want to start a debate on this point in the here and now, but whether public bathrooms ought to be available to people according to the gender they identify with will be hotly argued about for some time, I'm sure.

[eth]

I'm not going to go any further with this right now @Faith-and-Hope.  Too many issues and feelings hitting the surface.  We think differently about the topic, that much is clear.    

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sorry @eth, missed this bit -

"Revisiting"means we are stopping to condpsider whether the social structures we were raised under should still apply as they are to our society, or whether it's time to change them because we have worked out that they no longer serve us (or if they ever did, really).

[Faith-and-Hope]

Oh @eth, I think we are saying the same thing, and I have mis-communicated that somehow, but I will drop it for now, as you wish.

[Former-Member]

Personal identity is such a sensitive core issue. And with those we love. Face to face discussion might be easier. Every single soul is precious, highly valued & deeply loved by God.

I just had another old friend ring for a good chat. Maybe the universe knows i need it atm. Something about old friends, Grounding. Mind you it probably says more about their character than mine (MI & all)
Yes @Mazarita, i am in SEQ but inland. Lucky you on the coast. My son lives in Brizzy, visits the theme pks often but only comes home to this quiet small town about once a year these days 😭 but I go to him mostly.

Better think about dinner, shut the mozzies out, soldier on.

O my gosh, i can hear a Tawney Frogmouth Owl (i think their owls) ooming away close by - lovely!

[Kurra]

Thinking of you @eth
Hugzzz

[Mazarita]

Feeling like the discussion has got a bit 'hot under the collar'. I don't know if what I'm about to say will help that or just add fuel to the fire. But here goes...

I identify to some extent as 'queer' myself but can also understand where other thoughts on the issue are coming from. I've tried many times, over many years, to hint at and directly tell my mother about the 'queer' aspects of my sexuality (bisexuality and an earlier relationship with a transgender person). But she really just has never wanted to hear it from me. I know she really does know (I made a short film about it that she's seen). But she just can't talk about it.

I choose not to be angry about this and to understand her reasons. Her upbringing and religious associations make it just too painful for her to think of me in this way. Even if she could, I know that there would be aspects of her thinking on it that would not completely be in accord with how I think about it. I find it's best in human terms not to be too absolute in expecting compliance to queer ideology. 

Let's remember love and compassion above all, even through misunderstanding and differing points of view. 

[eth]

@Mazarita  I'm sorry to hear that your Mum doesn't understand this aspect of you.  You seem to be reconciled with that in a wise way.

In a forum this large there are bound to be times when people don't see things quite the same way.  I was more exhausted than angry.   Not up to explaining things like the difference between sexuality and gender identity, which I think you do understand.  Or the use of certain pronouns.  Or ....................  

I wasn't expecting compliance, rather hoping that I could express what I'm working through without every concept being challenged and/or negated.  e.g. "She might come back" ....  no they won't, they have found a way to live authentically at last.

And all because I said "No I don't have a son" and then tried to briefly explain.

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, thanks for your words of support. It's great that your child has found a way to live authentically at last and that you support them passionately in this. As for me, it's really not a problem for me and Mum these days. She and I have such a wonderfully understanding relationship in other ways, as we both get older and wiser. It totally makes sense that you are exhausted from your chest infection and that your child's gender identity is complicated to explain to most people. I think @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member have tried to be conciliatory and I didn't read their thoughts as meaning to be challenges or negations, perhaps just revealing different understandings and viewpoints of what, after all, are fairly advanced and recent concepts. I think there is a lot to work with between us all, and such a wonderful degree of support for each other up to now. I hope this can long continue. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Mazarita, i'm willing.

Sorry @eth, just thought maybe you might miss those daughter dreams (as famous singer Sher once expressed about her adult child), but guess each story is different and you don't feel you've lost your child. I'm fumbling around with it, not good. Do try to help us understand you as a mum in this, but maybe when you feeling better.

@Mazarita, Any tips on how to talk with my brother? My brother #3 has gone off again (diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia, gone off meds & denying ge has a problem), Seems exacerbated when his finances crash after a gambling night out. Stress affect i guess, and he doesn't cope. He runs to mum whose barely keeping head above water herself, but she bails him out, sometimes because she wants to help.. He gets so distressed, pressured speech & tears. It hurts to see someone you care about hurting so much. Wish his case manager would actually help more.

@faith-and- hope, you ok? Do you have a sunflower project to post, brighten the threat, yes?

Made up my yummy bátch of fish patties tonight ¥? (tuna, rice, egg & herbs), yum. Forgot to eat properly a few days there.