Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

[Spirit_Healer]

Thanks for the reply, @tyme .

I had Marta for eight months, we got really comfortable with each other. After I gave her up, the unit wasn't the same any more,  without her coming to greet me and rub on my legs. It felt emptier. 

Work has been okay. I have an issue with repaying an overpayment (they overpaid me for weeks) and I think I'm being taxed unfairly, so I'm going to make an appointment with an accountant to try to sort that out.

The year 9 boys are being very difficult and it's exhausting standing my ground and setting boundaries, especially since I hate confrontation. They don't get to see my 'fun' side because half of what I say is to address their behaviour. And half the class is low literacy: they can't read and write. So I spent several weeks just reading or playing the audio book to them, in place of telling them to read it to themselves. And that left less time for them to build other skills like essay writing and class discussion around themes, etc.

Considering all that, I just need to reassure myself that I'm doing the best I can, and try not to get too disillusioned in the process. 

Mum and Dad have been doing the shopping and meal prep, and then they go out for a walk and I cook or reheat whatever we need for dinner. I'm fine with doing this at their house, it's more familiar and I know where everything is. 

Dad has been saying that the house is too big for just the two of them. But further down the track I'm hoping to find a partner, move in with them, and I don't want to bring them to my parents'. 

*TW*

I have bad memories of conflict between Dad and Maternal Grandma when I was growing up. Sometimes, even as a child, I stepped up to protect and defend Grandma and Mum. And Dad can be difficult, even without Grandma around any more. I still suspect he has ASD. He can't understand social norms and this impacts on his relationships with others. 

On a more positive note, I finally returned to salsa and bachata dancing in August. It was my psychologist who encouraged me. The enjoyment was worth the disruption caused by the late night. I hope to go again soon. 

@NightFury thinking of you and your work, too.

[tyme]

It sounds like so much has been happening for you @Spirit_Healer . As always, I love your approach to it all - challenges and all. 

I'm hearing how tough the year 9 boys are. I'm sensing hormones plus neural pruning doesn't leave much left lol.

I really hope things work out well for you. 

I can see your parents are trying their best and they only know what they know.

Please look after yourself.

And going back to dacing! WOW! Good on you! Way to go!

[tyme]

Hope you are okay @Spirit_Healer !

[Spirit_Healer]

I'm happy to make it to the end of another working week, @tyme .

I've made an appointment with an accountant for next week. I've asked Dad to come with me. He's been telling me to prepare this and that paperwork. It's stressing me out thinking about it. 🤨

I'm too exhausted for dancing tomorrow night. I hope next week I'm less so because I plan to dance next weekend. 

I feel guilty about not making good use of my gym membership. But I prefer to go for a walk outside when it's sunny. My Vitamin D was low at the start of the year from being in PARC and hospital. It's only just recovered recently from double doses of Vitamin D supplements for months. I've just been doing yoga plus the occasional self-directed gym workout when it's been raining. I guess when summer arrives it'll be too hot outside during the afternoon and I hope to use the gym more then. 

I was helping in my colleague's class this morning and I have been thinking: maybe I need to 'pick my battles' in regards to dealing with student behaviour. Not trying to address every bad behaviour, just dealing with what is most important. It's something I will continue to think about, no doubt. 

How have you been?

[tyme]

Well done for making it @Spirit_Healer .

I agree with you in terms of picking your battles. Kids are kids.

As for the gym membership, maybe feeling guilty about your gym membership is the whole point to make people go?

Hope you can do something nice for yourself this weekend.

[Spirit_Healer]

@Dreamy , I was thinking and wondering about you the other day. How's it going?

[Dreamy]

Hello sweet @Spirit_Healer, I'm doing ok. I've been thinking about you aswell,  was reading your post about choosing to surrender your cat, i can imagine it wasn't an easy decision to make and i hope you are holding up ok. Was just catching up on notifications, there was alot to get through. Hope your are doing well, look forward to reading through and catching up properly tomorrow ❤️

[Spirit_Healer]

Hey @rav3n, 

I just did that attachment style questionnaire you shared: mine came back as anxious-preoccupied (near the border with secure). 'High anxiety about relationships, while maintaining typical levels of comfort with closeness.'

It was somewhat consistent with my past diagnosis of social anxiety. The feedback was to work on relationship anxiety, towards a secure attachment style. 

I realise I do worry a lot about interpersonal issues and what others think of me. And it's even more tiring because for most of my relationships, I'm masking, trying to appear 'normal'. I feel like I should 'grow a thicker skin'; this is easier said than done. 

Thanks for the link!

[rav3n]

no worries at all! @Spirit_Healer i feel similarly around the masking part - it gets so exhausting have to worry about what others think, and then we try to act 'normal' so that we don't get turned away, but end up burning out ourselves. i'm working on being more authentic from the start and not wearing the mask as much - it is hard, but i think it'll be healthier in the long run. 

growing thicker skin can be tough - i too am working on this. i hope you take your time and be gentle with yourself as you work through your attachment style 💙

[Spirit_Healer]

Happy Friday, @rav3n @Dreamy @tyme @NightFury !

I am celebrating 6 months of remission from my MH illness! 😃