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Something’s not right

ClockFace
Senior Contributor

Finances

Its not something that seems discussed a lot but finances are a real burden.

I live with my parents and sister. I have huge medical costs, Im an ex-alcoholic and I have heaps of medical and mental health issues. I have been sober for about 14 or 15 months, I spent all I had drinking so came out of that very broke, with a number of debts that I had had for years. 

I have been struggling to get my finances under control, Im working with a financial councillor. At this point I am on Moritoriums with most creditors and fighting with the company I owe the most too. 

 

My sister got sick and ended up in hospital 3 months ago. About 2 months ago I started having increased mental health issues and my sisters mental health degraded so it was decided I would take time off work to attend to both. My Dad at the time said we would work it out for the finances. 

 

Well turns out working it out meant that he would resist providing the support and that the support provided would be a loan. So now I am caring for my Mum and Dads daughter on my own, I get/she gets no support from either parent, I am trying to get my own mental and medical health sorted but I am doing that on no income and what income I get I somehow need to repay when I am in serious financial difficulty already, but I have no  other choice. 

I dont think its fair that everything is on me including paying for it all. Dads response is for me to just go back to work. Doctors are not keen on that for myself alone. I had a psychiatrist appointment yesterday and a couple meds are being increased but he is adding 2 more short term drugss but giving to me for three months to help me cope. Not to mention my sister keeps selfharming and wants to play in traffic, we live on a high speed road. I am constantly watching her, taking her to appointments etc. I dont know how I am supposed to work under those conditions (I work from home). If I did go back to work at the moment she would interupt regularly. He  is just focused on the financial cost and not the medical reality.

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Finances

Hi @ClockFace,

You've really gone through a lot - we have chatted a bit before so I know a little bit of your story. I'm sorry that things are so tough for you - you have a lot going on and it sounds like your shoulders would be heavy caring the weight of so many. 

I do want to congratulate you on your longstanding sobriety! That is a huge achievement - you should be really proud of yourself.

Are you able to get any external support around caring for your sister? Have you been able to reach out to an organisation such as the NDIS for support? It seems like too much for one person to care for your sister, particularly when you have your own issues and needs to deal with.

It is good to read you have a financial counsellor. Have they/are they able to help you to get any extra funding to help your situation. I'm sure some breathing space around finances would help ease your mind a little.

I wish you all the best - I really do hope things improve for you soon. I know things have been hard for your for quite sometime.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather 

Re: Finances

Hearing you @ClockFace re taking responsibility for your parents child.

Fantastic you have managed your drinking and getting your own finances under control.  Not sure how much rent or board you pay, but finances sure can be a hell of a burden, but it is not an endless mystery, and it can help getting clarity about fair costs and prices etc, and getting a fair deal.  Money is a fact of a life, but you right it is not the only fact, there are many other factors that impact on human beings.

 

Not sure how old you and your sister are.  My heart goes out to her as well.  

 

Sounds like your dad may be a money is a bottom line man, but really it is only part of the equation, not the whole shemozzle.  Sad he does not see it.  Good luck figuring out your balance in it all.  You may need some support regarding appropriate levels of caring for your sister, not to get over engaged, and putting gentle responsibility back to where it belongs.

Re: Finances

We are getting support via Community Mental Health but it is at least a fortnight away. 

She is on the NDIS but her plan manager is leaving and just winding up her involvement, so we are waiting for her new manager to start being active and hopefully some services will be made available.

She has started DBT today, which is a big positive. She will be doing this weekly, at least for now. NDIS is supporting this.

Re: Finances

hello @ClockFace 

one little tip if you tag others so they can receive your message so others can respond @Appleblossom , @FloatingFeather 

wondering if you are able to apply for carers payments through centrelink , i was for my mum 

Re: Finances

@Shaz51 

 

Yeah, thats the plan just got to get the time. Havent been on centrelink since like 1999. Might be able to do it online, tomorrow I might have a chance as no sister for a while. 

Wasnt going to because trying to get covered by insurance didnt know how it would impact it but MH Nurse Im seeing suggested I start now anyhow just in case.

Re: Finances

@ClockFace will be thinking of you 

is your sister on a pension at all too , just asking as to try any services to help you 

asking the MH nurse is a great idea 

 

and how are you going 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Finances

@Shaz51 

Yeah she is on a DSP and gets NDIS so trying to lean into that.

Im, Im not sure. Really tied today but another ER visit stopped any idea of a nap. Off to bed shortly.

How u

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