I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Thanks @Snowie. I did yoga and then spent a couple of hours laughing and joking with a couple of the others. I actually feel stoned! 

[Snowie]

Sounds like after a rough start things are settling down @Captain24 

I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself and making sure you got the pdoc you wanted. That in itself is a huge accomplishment.

I hope today goes well for you hon 💌💌

[Captain24]

I didn’t disassociate in group this morning but I was close. @Snowie. I feel very inadequate thought. 
We also got our schemas back so that was interesting and I did tell them how I’m feeling about group. 

I hope your day is ok. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 @Snowie 🙂

[Captain24]

Hi @tyme 

[Captain24]

Maybe I don’t belong here either

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Yeah, I hear you. You're not alone in feeling that way. What helps you feel a sense of belonging?

[Captain24]

Just to feel cared for or even just noticed would be nice. Not just an obstacle to be pushed behind everything. @tyme. To feel like my words are of some kind of value. To not lay here wanting to do things to myself. 

[tyme]

Awww. I'm sorry it's so hard. 

I haven't really caught up with you since your stay. How is it going for you? 

[Captain24]

It’s not like last time @tyme. It’s harder and I’m struggling. I dissociated yesterday and that scared me. It’s scared me a lot.

I struggled today. But there was only 3 of us in group and 2 kept going way off topic into a different tangent. Example. We had to say how being vulnerable felt. One of them ended up talking about mowing the lawn. I feel inadequate in the group and I’m losing confidence fast. 

I need to stay as I don’t feel safe enough to go home and I need to finish this course.