My Mosaic

[Jynx]

@Bow honestly it baffles me as well. Like I have tried to think of a clinical reason as to why she's so adamant about it... 

I have totally forgotten, what was the justification again? And is this an organisational policy or just her personal rule? 

[Bow]

Put simply @Jynx  …. just use your words. 

was her and my psychologist. My previous psychologist and CM had no issues with it. 

[Jynx]

@Bow that honestly makes zero sense. I am so baffled by that as a justification. What if they had a client who was mute?

That feels like personal opinion being forced upon you, not a clinical decision to support your growth. I am a strong advocate for the ideology around 'nothing about me, without me' when it comes to having agency over our recovery. This feels like a decision made 'for your own good', without having any discussion with you around whether it's something you actually want to work on. 

I know it's a lot easier for me to say this than it is for you to be able to do it, but I would be demanding that like... unless they can give me a real, research-backed, clinical reason as to why they are enforcing it, I will continue to communicate in the way that feels safe for me. If they continue to deny me this, they simply aren't a safe service and I'll leave.

Like I said, I know it's all easier said than done. I know accessibility of services is a huge factor. I know it's not so easy, and not always wise, to walk away from MH supports. 

I think I'm just mad on your behalf. 

[Bow]

I absolutely and totally agree with you @Jynx  and yes they made that decision about me without me. I was so angry… I still am obviously that they think they know me better and think they have the right to make these decisions. 

I don’t think they understand how much that decision that they made about my needs has had an impact on my recovery. I am absolutely certain that they believe my unwillingness/ not readiness to talk about things is part of the reason they haven’t put me on the wait list for another psychologist. Things like ‘she’s not ready to do the work’. When in actual fact, I can’t communicate in a way that is safe for me so I have been unable to feel safe to talk about things. 

it just makes me so angry. 

[Jynx]

@Bow  Your anger is so valid hun. 

I gotta dash, but wanted to quickly offer the thought that maybe it's worth spending some time (with your SW there maybe for some co-regulation) reflecting and writing out the ways you feel it has impacted your recovery. Whether they change their mind - no idea. But could be that they have no idea just how much it has impacted you. 

Night hun, hope the kitties are with you/filling your cup 😸💜

[Bow]

I picked up my foster mumma cat and 4 babies today. They are so itty bitty tiny and cute and make the cutest little squeaky noise. 
I don’t have great photos, didn’t wanna disturb them too much. Babies are between 2-3wks old and unnamed. It’s rare…. But I’m allowed to name them! 

 

 

 

@Jynx  for when your back on too

[Snowie]

You made me smile @Bow 

Cute pic's

That's great that you can name them. I'm sure you will pick out perfect names for them.

Hope today has gone well.

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie 

my best friend came over this arvo. They have been overseas in South Africa and got back late last week… and they are heading north later this week. Forever traveling!

I was driving home from picking them up and I thought…. The mum could be named mumma Taylor. And then name the babies after Taylor swift record names…. Red… folklore, evermore.,.. hmmm fearless? Hehe 

how’s your day been?

[Snowie]

Good that you got to see your best friend @Bow Hopefully you could have a good talk.

Do they know much about your MH? Just not sure how much you can really talk to them.

That would be cute names for the kittens! Mumma Taylor sounds good.

Will be glad when today's over.

[Bow]

My friend knows @Snowie  but she got no idea the extent of things. And she doesn’t know about all my trauma. Not the most recent stuff. She and her husband, my old pastors are like my second family. They walked through a lot stuff with me, a lot of past trauma, stuff from my childhood, all my mental health stuff from 15+yrs ago. They were my shoulder when my marriage ended. Things change though. They travel ALOT. And they are moving at some point closer to the city. Which I am extremely sad about. 
we don’t really talk much about any of that though. She talks most of the time. I listen, nod my head and ask a few questions. Sigh

Been a rough day?