Over it

[JRFoxie]

I've had depression for two years now. I feel like I'm never going to be well again or feel self-confident again. I recently lost my job after returning to work following 18mths away with depression. Truthfully I started feeling unwell again two weeks after I returned. Now I feel like I'm too unwell to pass an interview. I feel so low that I can't get out of bed until the afternoon. I stay at home. I cry and I feel suicidal.I felt good for 5 1/2 mths after my last hospital admission. I don't know if I'll ever be able to return to the life I had before depression.

[Former-Member]

Hi @JRFoxie,

Thank you for sharing, it sounds like you have been going through a rough time for a while, I hope that you can find some support on this forum. Many members here have gone through similar periods of depression and have used a variety of different strategies to cope. 

One useful strategy is to call Lifeline 13 11 14

You said that you felt good for a few months after your last hospital admission. What sort of coping strategies were you using then?

Maybe you could ask some of the members here about what sort of things help. Perhaps @Former-Member, @Jacques, @PeppiPatty or @Appleblossom could offer some suggestions as to how to cope when you are at your lowest. 

P.S. Welcome to the Sane forums. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @JRFoxie

Welcome to the forums, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. I also stopped working this year because of the depression that I have with ptsd and was hospitalised early in the year. I'm struggling as well right now and have changed my focus from all the things that are 'wrong' to what I can cope with in the present, ie the house, the day to day routine, trying to do some basic self care like eat and get enough sleep to function. Those are the things that I have some control of right now the rest I just have to try and deal with as it comes up. I think my hospital stay in feb also taught me I can't keep everything ok on my own ... So I've worked hard to let people (support workers/0sychologist/gp/psychiatrist) help me and not shut everyone out ... As much as I can anyways.
I'm glad that you mentioned that you did have a time when you felt well, if you got there before you can again, don't give up - here listening and understanding how hard the daily struggle is with those dark thoughts.
Lj

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @JRFoxie

Thanks for writing. We are here for you.
Sometimes it's just okay to write and know that we care.

@Former-Member is certainly one lady who will 'listen,' she has helped me a Lot this year.

Anne

[JRFoxie]

I didn't have any real strategies for coping when I was well. I had ECT then I was well for five and a half months.

[JRFoxie]

A bed has finally come up at the hospital that I was in March. I think my doctor will opt for ECT again. I really hope I can get back on my feet.

[Former-Member]

I hope that things go well for you and you get some improvement. With the ect how long was it before you felt improvement when you had it before? If you don't mind me asking?

[JRFoxie]

I noticed a difference by about the sixth session of ECT. I remained well for five and a half months.

[Former-Member]

How often do you have sessions? I'm curious I guess I haven't felt really totally well in a while... Not that it's even offered out here!

[JRFoxie]

Three times a week for a total of 12 treatments.