Struggling: TW suicide

[creative_writer]

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant. 

[Bow]

Hey @creative_writer  so sorry you are stuck in this horrible space 😞  im glad that you are safe right now and I really hope that it can stay that way. 

i know what it’s like to be constantly fighting those urges, it really is exhausting. 

can you give a helpline a buzz? Or one of your professional supports? 

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @creative_writer,

I'm so sorry you are struggling at the moment - it sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Do you have anyone you can talk to or be with today? Do you have a GP you trust. They are often a good, confidential support and can help steer you in the right direction in terms of professional support.

I will send you an email to check in with you, I know you said you are safe right and we appreciate you letting us know that but I just want to offer that extra support.

If you do need immediate support please call any of the following: 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

Keep reaching out when you need to - we are here for you.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

[creative_writer]

@Bow I might try to contact a helpline. I spoke to the CAT team earlier today when I wasn't so bad. It seems to be that I tend to feel worse around afternoon and evening. Trying to figure out why that might be.

@FloatingFeather I do see my GP tomorrow since I need to get another referral for my psychologist. I haven't spoken to my GP about this lately. My psychologist is trying to get me in sooner. It's been very hard for psychologists since they get so booked out so quickly. I could also call up to get a sooner psychiatrist appointment, but at this stage I barely know her since I've only had one appointment with her.

[Captain24]

Sorry you are feeling like this @creative_writer . 

I know how hard and exhausting it is to fight these feelings constantly. I do feel for you. I’m glad you are safe at the moment and have a gp app in the morning.

My thoughts occur in the late afternoon and evening as well. I know leave all the lights in to try and reduce the darkness. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t. I’ve also tried some yoga.

When it’s to bad I just have a hot shower and feel the water wash over me and then go to bed. 

Don’t know if any of that helps or not. 
Please stay safe. 

Captain24

[NatureLover]

So sorry to hear, @creative_writer  😞

Sending wishes for hope and good thoughts... You are definitely not a burden.

Sending 💜

[creative_writer]

@Captain24I didn’t mention anything to my GP today about how things have been. I guess I didn’t really feel up to it. I’ve been really physically unwell with migraine since the afternoon and have been resting.

@NatureLover❤️

Right now I feel like I’m suffocating. I’ve reached out to SANE counselling service earlier today, but I am still not at ease. There is so much I cannot express. There are no words. I wish it didn’t hurt so much.

[tyme]

I hear it hurts @creative_writer . Despite not having the power to vanish your pain, I'd like to sit with you through it. @Captain24 @NatureLover are incredible to sit with. They have so much insight to share.

Please know you are not alone. The journey seems difficult, yet we are here to see you through.

Our SANE counsellors will be available until 10:00pm, but after hours, you can also contact:

• Lifeline on 13 11 14
• beyondblue on 1300 224 636
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

Take care, tyme

[NatureLover]

@creative_writer  thinking of you and wishing for your SI to ease... 💜

[Captain24]

Hi @creative_writer 

Hope you are ok and are feeling better.

I struggled with telling the gp what was going on. It was really hard. As I did I felt really detached from myself. But it turns out that it was the best thing I did!  She immediately contacted the MH team at the hospital and have received so much assistance. I didn’t know how much support was out there. 

I am still struggling a great deal but we are working on it as a team to get me well. I have learnt a lot on they way from my team and on here. 

The support between the forums and my team are helping me get through. I feel as though in my outside life that, other than my support network, no one cares. But on here people do. 

Know that I’m with you through this and understand a lot of what you are feeling. 

Captain24 💕