Struggling… and crying….

[MissinTooth]

Morning all.

@Shaz51 I had a rough night with nightmares and waking up feeling panicky. I hate the feeling of not having anyone to reach out to in the middle of the night when that happens. But, I'm up and getting myself ready for work. It's Friday! So...last day of the teaching/working week and I'm excited to have a couple of quieter, gentler days at home over the weekend. 

How are you?

[Glisten]

@Shaz51  morning my dearest Shazzy 🥰 

It’s FriYAY @Semly @snowflake231 @Till23

@MissinTooth how did you get on with the wood heater handle saga of 2025?

Congratulations everyone and virtual High 5s for making it through another week of life ⭐️

[MissinTooth]

@Glisten I think I fixed it!

It's now a bit loose on the metal bit, but it's no longer in two pieces. So...it's an improvement! 

[Glisten]

@MissinTooth you did well! The handle being loose is an advantage.

Metal expands when it gets hot.

You did very, very well, especially when fixing things isn’t familiar to you ⭐️

[snowflake231]

Hey everyone how was your night last night? I slept well and when I woke up this morning I didn't throw up which is unfortunately what normally happens to me when I wake up  I will be addressing it with the dr next time I see them. 

What are everyone's plans for today ? 

[Cuddlebear]

@Semly   Hi Sealy welcome to the forums. I’ve just noticed your post and saw that other people have responded. It was good to see peer support in action. 

Like everybody else said you do fit in here and as a community we welcome everybody. It’s good you’ve taken a break and can spend some time focusing on you without work stresses. 

How are you this morning? I find the days terribly hard. The symptoms of anxiety and feeling a type of dread make it difficult. I’m also very isolated and don’t really have people to talk to. The forums here have provided a place to reach out to humans who understand. It helps me get through the days. I’m also fairly new so don’t know many people. I’m glad you have a family. That can be a really good support. Don’t feel guilty I’m sure your family love you and you are not a burden to anyone. 

I don’t have a job at the moment. I’m also deaf and blind making finding employment hard. So lots of free time alone which isn’t very useful. 

Do you have something on today thwt you enjoy? 

[Cuddlebear]

@MissinTooth   Hello how are you? I’m so glad you got the fire situation sorted. I remember Sunday night it had happened and you had to wait for the fire to go out before doing some repairs. 

[Semly]

Hi everyone!

@Cuddlebear @snowflake231 @Glisten @MissinTooth @Shaz51 @MotherDuck 

@Tolly @Till23

I think that’s not everyone. Hm. I’ll try to fix that.

Thank you all so much for your kindness, welcome, support and warmth. I’m so grateful. 

 I wasn’t able to respond because I lost my phone from the roof of the car in a moment of hurry and stress. I’m super grateful I live in the town I do, because I thought someone would probably return it, and they did ❤️.

Yesterday was a little tricky after I last posted because I got a work-related text about a very stressful work situation and ended up sobbing in a public square in front of the library where I’d gone to smash out the uni work. But again, then a lovely colleague called (she was at home) and I was able to go and sit with her and talk it through and let go of some of the stress and sadness (is it rejection sensitive dysphoria? Quite possibly; also current depression) and not to personalise it so much. So if that was going to happen, it could barely have happened better, as awful as it felt.

When at work I do a helping / supporting type role, and the text was about reallocating a client I (and others) have found very challenging to support. Recently I’d asked (repeatedly) for organisational support so that I could support the person, and no-one came through for me, and I was more and more stressed and discouraged as time went on - plus I was already depressed and reaching out over and again and trying to think out how to resolve it all was a huge effort and strain.

The reallocation just felt like I’d personally failed and failed the client and the organisation - even though they (managers and some colleagues) left me alone to manage it all. 
But I guess the day felt different also because I’d been able to put all the sadness and tears of the night before (and the morning honestly) into reaching out on my own behalf (thank you @Till23 , even if you’re not around right now). 

Thank you all for making me welcome.

I’ll come back with a second bite at this post to say hi to everyone I missed. 

[Till23]

Hi @Semly sounds like you've done an excellent job of getting through a stressful situation on the background of long term stress.

It's also great that you were able to engage or were engaged by in person support. Which as you know is pretty much essential for people with MH issues.

Also amazing that you got your phone back.

Hopefully you are overall all feeling uplifted despite the depressive episode and it will lead to longer term wellbeing.

All of this while working and studying!

[MissinTooth]

Hi @Semly 

I have briefly been employed as a support worker and have experienced something similar. Different context, but kinda similar. I was working with a client who, through no fault of their own, set my own alarm bells off. One day, it happened to a concerning degree and I was put in a situation that made me feel really unsafe. After debating it in my head, I chose to speak up about it and ask for her to be assigned to a different support worker because I couldn't be my best and give her what she needed regarding support. Sometimes when you're working/supporting others, you are not the best fit for what that person/client needs and there's no shame in that. Try and see it as - not you failing, but doing what's best for the needs of the person. You haven't failed them - it's actually the opposite, you've gotten them the help that they need to get the best supports that they need. 

I don't know if that helps?