Worried about being alone

[Gemini82]

My anxiety and depression have been pretty okay the last few weeks. However my daughter is going to spend the first week and a bit of the school holidays with her Dad and I'm going to be by myself for the first time in my life and I'm worried how it's going to affect me. I'm not sure what to do so that I don't slip back in to old habits.

[Jynx]

Hey @Gemini82 - totally awesome that you have recognised that this could be a really challenging time for you! 

Maybe it's about ensuring that you fill out your days? Make some small plans for stuff - going for a nature walk or seeing a friend for coffee, exploring the local library or doing some arts n crafts stuff, etc etc - for each day so that you know that you aren't just gonna be sitting on ya hands. 

Do you have like a psych or some other supports who you could inform about your concerns? Sometimes it helps heaps just knowing someone is there if we need! Or knowing someone is gonna check in on us - can be super helpful too. 

[MJG017]

Hi@Gemini82 

It must be very difficult facing this week with your daughter being gone.  It's good that you feel like you've been more on top of the anxiety and depression lately and I think that it's a really positive sign that you're already thinking about how to deal with that week of the school holidays already.  Many people would probably just brace for the worst and deal with it then, but getting ahead of it now, and reaching out here feels like you're already doing what you can to prepare for it as best you can while showing a lot of self awareness, which I've always found has helped me deal with upcoming things i'm not exactly looking forward to.

I agree with @Jynx, I think preparing some things to do during the week is a great idea.  I've always found that finding things to keep my mind off things as a bit of a distraction very helpful.  You daughter will be back, so it's just more about finding some things to do during that week she's gone.  So maybe using it as an opportunity to focus on yourself and what you enjoy or makes you feel good.  Maybe it's just a day sitting around in the comfy jammies watching Netflix.  Maybe you could have a word to your daughter for some ideas as well.
And it's okay if at times you start to feel those old habits starting to want to creep back in, it's completely understandable.  Maybe have something planned if you start to feel like that.  Whether it's going for a walk or a drive, or putting an old favourite movie on... or reaching out to someone or here.  You don't have to do this all alone. 

[Procrastin8]

Hi @Gemini82 

Just checking in to see how you're going?

My daughter is 11, and her dad and I separated when she was 2 months old. I've been sending her to her dads over weekends and school holidays since she was 3.

If you’re experience is at all like mine, it gets easier. I find myself often missing her dearly when she's gone, but in the same moment enjoying the 'me' time to just breathe, reconnect with friends, have just cheese for dinner without having knowing that I have to prepare something with more variety for a impressionable mind. I recently joined my local fire brigade. It's nice to have some things that are just for me.

And as she gets older, the days apart are giving us both a break from everyday life and snappy routine nagging conversations. I hope you can find things to distract you those first few times, and know that it too becomes routine. 

You're allowed to miss your daughter and enjoy a break at the same time. 🙂

[Gemini82]

Thank you for checking in! I'm actually doing better than I thought! I'm only on day 3 of 11, but my Aunt is coming to stay for a few days so I'm looking forward to that. I'm missing my daughter, but I’m also looking forward to having all 3 of my kids with me in a couple of weeks.

[Jynx]

@Procrastin8 I think the above is for you 😊

@Gemini82 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue 😋

Also, so glad to hear you're trekking along okay!! Aww having your aunt stay sounds lovely, hope you two have a lovely time and that you're squeezing your kidlets before you know it 😊💜