Acceptance is hard work

[AuntGlow]

Thank you for such a lovely contribution to this conversation @Till23 💛

How are you both feeling today? @MissinTooth 🤗

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow I'm doing okay. Work was kind of my focus today. I've been quiet...I've just kind of been processing I think. I feel like my emotions have kind of wiped me out a bit after yesterday. 

I didn't sleep well. It took me ages to go to sleep, then I woke again at 11.30 ish and I woke again at 3.50 am. I stayed awake after that. I've just been thinking. 

[Till23]

Hi @MissinTooth I'm sorry you didn't get a good sleep last night. But hoping you really are doing OK.

Have you had your guided recovery session yet?

I don't like those early morning wakenings, which for me is around 4am.

I hope you get a better sleep tonight.

@AuntGlow I am in a bit of a slump, but won't say too much here on @MissinTooth thread, so they can have their own dedicated space. I have a thread on Not Good Enough

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 I'm just...I went to work, I did my teaching thing. I was a tad grumpy with the kids...I've just gotten home from work. I've popped my head in here a couple of times throughout the day and I just don't know what to say to others...so the best way to describe it is to say that I'm in my own space and I just feel...quiet.

I have my first counselling call this afternoon. I'm nervous.

I'm sorry to hear that you've hit a slump! And I hope that you're okay. 

[Till23]

Hi @MissinTooth if you want to be quiet then that's fine.

I can understand being nervous about your first session, but I spoke to someone at Sane a couple of years ago after my first cancer and they were great. We talked about CSA because memories etc of that were triggered by my cancer treatment.

Remember you are in the driver's seat, so can say as much or as little as you like.

I'll be here on and off this evening so if you want to chat I'd welcome that, but if you's rather not I'd understand that too.

Sending you good vibes for your first session

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 thank you. I appreciate you being here and reaching out to me and thank you for the advice. I might reach out later tonight for a chat, let's see how it goes. 

[Till23]

Yes, of course, see how it goes @MissinTooth - that's the first step.

Might chat to you later - no pressure though. It's your space

[Jynx]

@MissinTooth hey hun!

First, I am impressed by how much you've shared in just the three days since we spoke about it! Kudos 😊

How has the experience been for you so far? I can imagine lots of Very Big Feels but also hopefully a sense of... lightness, or relief?

You mentioned you are new to this, the whole sharing of the feelings dealio - cos of that programming you also mentioned, being told it was 'attention seeking'. So this is even more of a huge step than I initially realised, wow! I feel privileged to be part of it, and would love to be here for you along this journey too 💜

[AuntGlow]

@MissinTooth Thank you for your reply, I am glad to hear you have been processing and that you are doing okay. Although, I am sorry to hear that sleep was hard to come by, I am sure you are rather exhausted at the moment... I hope you get better rest tonight. You are more than welcome to share what you have been thinking about here, but if that feels a little heavy, I would love to hear about one thing that made you feel good today? 🌞

[MissinTooth]

@Jynx I would love it if you were here with me through this too. I'm feeling quite...sensitive about not having a support network, not having anyone. It makes me feel so isolated. I'm doing this on my own! And already it's overwhelming and I've only just started this process.

I value the peer support workers here and the support they've given me, so very much. 

I don't know, things just came out. Big feelings...I've been dealing with big feelings. I was a mess yesterday. I cried emotional, big tears. 

Sharing here is hard, it's hard for me...period. 

Edit - evidenced by the fact that I wrote a whole lot more here, then went and took it out. I'm learning how to navigate things here and how to take care of myself here in the process.