Winter solstice

You're one intrepid lady @Appleblossom  with an amazing ability to make connections. Interesting convergences last night in an unfamiliar church. Your church music sounds immersive in so many ways - metaphors of baptism come to mind, you seem to have found yourself in that milieu.

I'm not out and about at all  and have been rejected from a couple of local churches. I need to reinvent myself but fear I'm declining and lack the capacity.

Hope the stretches help your pain and mobility. I'll be looking for a physiotherapist,  as I'm not happy with what I was just prescribed - when I checked online I found 4 relevant contraindications. Also time for some serious relaxation and natural therapies methinks. 

My neighbour has rung me daily this week. We have little in common and he has many foibles but he's lonely and essentially kindly. 

Interesting that with your background you're an optimist. I'm melancholic, depressive, but live in hope of new beginnings that never seem to eventuate. Maybe they do sometimes. 

@Dimity 

It is just what came my way last night. Part of my heart will always be with street people. Random acts of kindness ... but I feel there are enough security ... around ... for me ...

I am very sensitive to rejection and back away fairly easily, but trying to take heart and developing some banter and push back ... not felt up to posting in  ... the socilaising thread cos I became too deeply distressed and upset by some things that happened... which i8s part of why I went back to choir cos I know I can do my part even if I am a physical or emotional wreck.

Its sad that you felt rejected by churches. It is not christian in any true sense. 

I too have been rejected... by a city church 8 years ago ... but that was more due to Institutional Child sex abuse scandals and Cardinal Pell ...etc etc ...(I was trying to be careful and not challenge status quo) I was devastated, went on heavy meds etc founbd forum ... finally have moved on ... 

This week had an interesting experience where I intervened and am enabling a grand piano to be located at a local church.  there ae 2 -3 people who have been decent to me... Part of my push back ... is that I will be mentioning that some others need to 'work on their manners' ... hhmmm being hardnosed ... some people can get away with being rude... blunt ... and hurtful ... and they do not even know it ... just casually putting people down.  yes I was hurt .. but it looks worse for them ... with their empty pews... anyway with this new church asset ... see what evolves ... I wrote in an email they were mad not to accept the piano.  Gives me satisfaction ... to say they were the mad ones ... lol  

@Dimity this forum has been deeply meaningful for me.  Doubt I would be still here without it.

Hope the kindly neighbour is respectful, and not too much of a downer.  There are all sorts ... arent there?

@Dimity  I'm upset for you that your neighbour removed the flowering bush that gave you happiness and that you planted! I would be livid. 

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@Dimity wrote:

have been rejected from a couple of local churches.

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This has happened to me, and I'm sad for you. I stepped away from religion after that (there were more complex things at play in my decision to step away too). 

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@Dimity wrote:

I need to reinvent myself but fear I'm declining and lack the capacity.

... 

I'm melancholic, depressive, but live in hope of new beginnings that never seem to eventuate.

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I am sending wishes you can see a way forward and for a new beginning to come naturally... 💚

@Appleblossom I occasionally crossed paths with street people when commuting through the city... rarely interacted. Once a big issue salesperson chatted, he recognised me (he was a former student). 

I understand re feeling rejection  and sometimes distress. It's not always easy or possible to re-engage but with fortitude and resilience we can try.

My grandmother minded a baby grand for years. Your church is lucky, and hopefully it will enable you to enjoy more musicking. Manners... can be subjective... depend very much on whatever social and cultural mores we grew up with... and some have no idea of how they're received... perhaps empathy is part awareness part making the intuitive/imaginative leap to another's perspective. I resist excusing myself when my neighbour wants to chat... our backgrounds are very different but we work on commonalities... sometimes he offends my sensibilities but who am I to judge. 

Well, as of today we embark on a new financial year. It doesn't affect me much, but feels like passing another milestone. And today  I've started a new prn med that gives me pain relief. I don't like the lists of caveats and contraindications I found so will use it sparingly. But I'm a little more hopeful.

Thankyou @NatureLover.

Yes religion and spirituality seem complicated. Maybe that's why there are so many flavours of them. My parents came from oppositional traditions so I guess I was always conflicted. And I carry a few  scars. 

I'm deeply shaken by the stealthy removal and obliteration of the garden - something the neighbour openly aspires to, despite the minuted decisions of the owners corporation.  The "gardener" is under his control however in our self-managed corporation and there's nothing I can do. Every time the "gardener" visits more is lost. The neighbour bought into the corporation only 2 years ago and says he wants "flat lawn". 

@Dimity 

Feeling frustration for you re the loss of your garden. You have been there so long and put in the work. For a recent arrival to be so demanding, manipulative, underhand and pushy about it is pretty awful, and says a lot about his character. If he did not like the current garden he should have bought elsewhere.

We do need to compromise a bit to get along socially, I sense you have plenty of consideration, but when it is stretched too far ... I hope the chatty fellow learns to tone it down and not deliberately offend.  I think I am too far gone in what I have experienced to really know.  Why I went through what I did with that fellow on the train makes me wonder about myself.  Should I have moved away?? Always questioning myself.

Hope your Sunday is a good one

I'm glad to hear about your new prn which gives pain relief, @Dimity . It's good to have resources in the tool box for when things are bad, even though you use them sparingly. And I'm happy to hear it gives you a little hope.

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@Dimity wrote:

I'm deeply shaken by the stealthy removal and obliteration of the garden

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This happened to me recently as I think I told you - only with one winter-flowering plant, but it was awful. So unnecessary. No wonder you're deeply shaken. 🫂 I get upset when trees are cut down...in many cases it seems so needless if they pose no danger. 

I agree with @Appleblossom - that neighbour should have bought somewhere else if he didn't like the garden! Presumably all the other owners like the garden!

@Appleblossomthe chatty one has toned down the expletives but presses other buttons. Your openness with your people is very special. 

I made an effort today and didn't achieve hugely, but moved forward in house and garden. For a while I was in the habit of indulging in some reflection/contemplation on Sundays - today I feel I need to get back to setting aside that restorative time. I'm anticipating a difficult week, with more to come, with much to negotiate re supporting my sister. 

I hope you soon feel up to reclaiming your socialising thread, the froth and bubble subsiding having taken their course. Don't lose the good in it. Forgive me for being unsubtle...

I just remembered For the God Who Sings on ABC FM. It's ages since I listened... 

@NatureLover I agree re trees. We have a large tree some wished to fell but thankfully the arborist recommended retaining it.

Yes I remember your purple plant. Did the cuttings strike? I think you said someone offered you salvias. I just trimmed my blue salvia. I haven't planted my new red one yet.

You've got a good memory @Dimity ...the purple flowering plant doesn't seem to have struck, sadly. The salvias have died down for winter...my neighbour says they'll come back?

Thank goodness your arborist recommended keeping that large tree! 

I'm sorry to read you're expecting a difficult week...it sounds very complex, supporting your sister. Hoping your week goes better then you expect... 🤞