Hi everyone.
My son is nearly 20 and has been suffering with mental health issues for 4 years (diagnosed) and possibly longer (undiagnosed).
Initially we uncovered this all when he was ill for a week at the commencement of Year 10 - he went to school for a week and then took ill - he was having respiratory problems, stomach problems, etc. I took him to the emergency department but they were unable to find anything physical and after 8-10 hours we went home. He then asked if he could talk to me.
He told me that he thought he was gay but that he had not told anyone. He then recounted years of verbal and online bullying related to his perceived sexuality, etc. The bullying and fear had also driven him into dangerous internet sites - porn, sharing, etc.
For that first year we dealt as best as we thought we could by looking after him, taking him to a psychologist and then a psychiatrist, endeavouring to manage the internet issues, etc. We did not tell our extended family because he did not want them to know. (we should have because the isolation for my wife and I was very difficult). He was ultimately medicated for the anxiety.
In the following year, when school started, he had a major anxiety episode lasting several days. He had little sleep and woke up one morning believing that people were coming to get him. We admitted to a pysch hospital at this time and he stayed for four weeks. When he came out we home schooled him through year 11 which is when he first did photography and discovered that he loved it and had a skill for it.
Instead of Year 12 he did photography at TAFE. There were plenty of mental health 'events' through this time - mostly anxiety - but in the following second year of TAFE he developed depression and was admitted (voluntarily) because he was at risk of self-harm and suicide. This stint was shorter, only two weeks.
Through the years from the initial hospitalisation he was on mood stabiliser and anti-psycotic. He also later went onto antidepressants for the depression.
He had issues with his psychiatrist who seemed to believe that he was not gay - suggesting his sexuality was confused due to his porn issues, internet use, etc when young. This really upset him and me. Eventually, earlier this year, we moved to a different clinic and psych.
The new psych was preaching 'skills not pills' and wanted my son to do DBT. I was all for this as my sister had experienced good results for her depression with it. He removed one of his meds and then a month or two later started reducing the other. At this time my son started to drink more on weekends (heavy) and spent less time at home. As things deteriorated he had a few meltdowns and his reduced meds went back up and he went back on the other one.
The events of the last three weeks include my son having a major weekend of drinking, breaking up with his boyfriend, being diagnosed with BPD, contracting pneumonia and a number of other things.
On Sunday at midnight he was in the ED unable to breathe. This was when they uncovered the pneumonia. By 5am he was in a stressed state after receiving a threathening message on Facebook (I saw it) related to Tinder and we were at the cops at 8am telling them about it, at the GP at 10am about the mental state and pneuomonia and at his psychologist in the afternoon.
He admitted to the hospital (a different one than before) on Tuesday. He was calm in the morning with me - he was happy to be in a safe place as he felt the person (persons) in the above FB message were going to get him. However by that evening he had become delusional and believe members of staff and other patients were involved. He was also having head pains and back pains that he attributed to a fall he had when drunk the prior weekend.
We persisted for one more day but ultimately took him home midnight Wednesday. He was agitated and angry with me (and my wife) on and off since then but it has abated somewhat after I spoke to the mental health emergency line and got some advice to tackle the physical issues to help remove the stresses that were likely causing the psychosis. I think this was good advice - we saw the GP who confirmed the pneumonia was abating and got an MRI which was thankfully all clear.
After a few days things did settle down. He was still getting agitated and speaking delusionally from time to time but didimprove. This could be because he was able to take a different med if needed (rarely taken) but I think it had a lot to do with removing some of the drivers for the behavioural response.
It was a crap couple of weeks. At times I felt so hopeless that I didn't know what to do. It's frightening to think that we might be dealing with this for years, decades, forever. I attended a meeting with other carers for BPD sufferers and my wife and I both went to a Helping Minds group - if it wasn't for those I don't know if that helpless feeling wouldn't still be consuming me.
Thanks for reading.
