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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Sparky79 

 

It’s all such a mess. Stay strong. Things will get better.

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Oaktree oh pain is an understatement, my immediate family have no idea of my attempt or of my relationships, I allowed them to destroy all I had built once, so never again, they will never meet anyone I care about, I refuse to give them that power. In regards to support I have weekly appointments with a clinical psych. that started just before Christmas, after I discovered my gp had dropped the ball on my workcover treatment and was being mistreated. Prior to that I had weekly psych sessions with no improvement, I continued destroying my life piece by piece.

To look after me, my PTSD memory shields me from my work place trauma and all that happened with my ex, it also numbs me to my current situation, which only affects me when I talk about it (crying my eyes out as I type this). I am focusing on the now, what I know to be true rather than focusing on the what if's and other hypothetical situations that my mind tortures me with. I have finally managed to get an appointment with a psychiatrist after 2 and 1/2 years, again I had to push for it, damn GP! Oh yeah and I mask a lot of pain with humour, I mean that worked well for Robin Williams (sorry dark humour)

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Oaktree Oh yeah I meditate and do my mantra twice a day, I try to keep my mind busy. I have been doing my hobbies a little bit, but as soon as I start feeling good about something I then feel guilty as the reality is brought back by my mind torturing me, so I try to stay in a neutral state. A lot of the issues have been as a result of poor communications between my partner. I love hearing from them and chatting with them, unfortunately there were delays between their replies to me of up to 3 days at times, so I eased off and thought I was coming across as needy. It's hard when the only means of communication left is emails, but I respect their wishes. The sad bit is that I have a habit of sacrificing my needs for the needs and wants of my partner/s. Which I'm doing yet again, and I don't see it as I'm in a place to make requests have expectations given all I've done and the damage.

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Sparky79 

 

Just so you know, I care about you and want you to be ok. I am glad that you are getting professional support. It is important to stay in the now. Grounding exercises are good if you haven’t tried them. Like 5 senses. 

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Oaktree thankyou for your kind words, Yeah I ground myself before every meditation, I wear my crystals whilst I'm awake, I have incense going most of the time and usually have some sort of meditation / binaural beats tracks going for keeping my frequency up.

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Oaktree Honestly if my actions have destroyed everything, the pain sadness, shame and regret is something that I will carry for the rest of my life. I know I can and will go on and rebuild, most likely alone.

If you stuff up once, it's a mistake, if you stuff up the same way again, it's a choice.

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Sparky79  Sparkles you are too hard on yourself.

 

Who put thatIf you stuff up once, it's a mistake, if you stuff up the same way again, it's a choice.” rule on you?

 

We are humans, not robots 🤖 

Have you seen how the human body is built? It’s a Lemon, mate.

 

I tell my grandchildren, “I am human. Therefore I will make mistakes. Some mistakes more than once.”

 

Humans are inherently flawed.

We are in a constant state of feeling and emotion. Our unconscious or subconscious mind controls most of what we do, without us being aware of what we are doing.

 

You don’t have to think about what you are doing when you drive your car. You’re just reacting.

 

Who gave you that rule?

What other rules did they give you?

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Glisten  Good morning, I hope you are well.

I read that saying (well a variation of it years ago), It went "the first time is a mistake, the second time is a choice",  pretty much along the lines of if you've made a mistake it should be a learning opportunity, therefore if you make the same mistake again, it's because you chose it, knowing full well the outcome. After all the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting different results.

 

It's not a rule that has been imposed on me, it's more me stating that I've made this mistake once and if it happens again it's because I haven't learnt my lesson and I chose for it to happen. Whether that choice was a conscious one or a subconscious one is another matter.

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Sparky79 

 

How are you Sparks?

Have you heard anything on the legal front regarding this whole mess?

Hopefully they have no grounds for suing.

 

 

Re: Coping with the repercussions of a suicide attempt

@Oaktree touch wood,