Advice needed

[tyme]

I wonder if recovery supports will be beneficial for you? @Jme01 

Do you know about SANE's Guided Service program? There may be a bit of a wait, but you can give it a go to see if you are eligible.

https://www.sane.org/referral

We also have a chat on this evening at 7pm AEST. You can read about this chat here: Peer Group Chat// Break-Up Blues // Thursday 5th September 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST 

We'd love for you to join if you want.

[Jme01]

Thankyou, I’ll check out the referral to see what it’s about, thankyou 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Jme01 

Welcome to the forum. 🖐  I'm sorry you are struggling at the moment, life can be so overwhelming can't it?

Your fantasy addiction peaked my interest as I've been suffering from the same thing for over 50 years.  It's called 'maladaptive daydreaming'.  It's such a new disorder that it is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which is a guidebook widely used by mental health professionals, but there are academics who are currently studying this disorder. Although there is no cure, people have said that SSRI medication can help.  Perhaps check it out on the internet and see whether you identify with maladaptive daydreaming.

It's an all consuming addiction which most people, but not all, start around the age of 10.  I was a very lonely and neglected child with no friends.  This loneliness led me to my fantasy world and it just took over.  I was 11 and I'm now 62 and I still can't stop doing it.  Even watching a movie triggers it and off I go - it's just so vivid.  However, the downside is that I lost the ability to connect with people and my family.  Everyone else got on with their lives, but I remained in my fantasy world.  Consequently I have lived a very lonely life and I don't wish that on you.

Try not to be too hard on yourself and just take baby steps at the moment.  

Warmest regards

R 🌻

[rav3n]

@Former-Member you're probably one of the first few people i've seen mention maladaptive dreaming! thanks for sharing about it - i've been doing it for a couples years now, started as a way to try fall asleep but i did end up using it as a coping tool for my anxiety and depression. in my case, i think the maladaptive dreaming hasn't had too much of negative impact so far but now i think i'll be a bit more cautious around it. i'm sorry you feel like you've lost your connection with family and friends, but just so you know - i truly believe you can reconnect again if that's something you'd like to try? something like people-watching in public places even has helped me transition into connecting with others. 

plus you've got the forums community as well, which you seem to connecting really well in 💗

[Former-Member]

Hi @rav3n 

Thanks for your reply.

I haven't read any posts about maladaptive daydreaming so far but I suspect it is more common than we think.  I guess this disorder only becomes a problem if you can't stop doing it, like any addiction. I sometimes wonder if it's linked to dissociative disorder as I can loose hours when I'm in the fantasy without having any concept of time.  I also dissociate from myself and become a different person.

You sound like you have it under control and it is an excellent way to get to sleep as it distracts your mind from intrusive thoughts.  Night time can be so hard for many of us on this forum.

I'm learning heaps from this forum and I'm trying to build my self confidence so I can learn to connect to people.

R 🌻

[rav3n]

ohh i see, i can definitely see how maladaptive dreaming can be associated with mixed up sense of time and dissociation @Former-Member!

night times can defs be hard, do you have a night time routine to help you sleep?

love that!! looking forward to continue connecting with you @Former-Member 💙 

[Former-Member]

Hi @rav3n 

I've been doing a little bit of research on maladaptive daydreaming and in a journal article it said that studies on  maladaptive daydreaming have shown it has a number of comorbidities including dissociative disorder, OCD, CPTSD and ADHD.  I had to look up what 'comorbidities' means:  "The presence of one or more disorders (or diseases) in addition to a primary disease or disorder."  I guess everyone has their our  way of coping and maladaptive daydreaming is my one.

To help me sleep I read, visit the forum, listen to ABC radio or I go into my fantasy world.   Night is really hard sometimes.

Regards

R 🌻

[rav3n]

I've been looking for into maladaptive dreaming too! It's really interesting stuff, thanks for sharing about the comorbidities @Former-Member 

I can relate to night times being tough, sounds like you've got a couple strategies there which are great! what sort of things do you read? fiction, non-fiction?

my sister listens to a sleep hypnosis sound on Spotify and she knocks out within 10 minutes, i've never tried it myself but thought i'd share incase you're interested in trying it.

[Former-Member]

Hi @rav3n 

ABC's 'All in the mind' did a story on maladaptive daydreaming.  You can find it at https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2021-04-17/maladaptive-daydreaming-excessive-can-cause-real-world...

I pretty much like all genres of books but at the moment I'm really into the horror genre.  However, I recently read an eye-opening book called Crippled: Austerity and the Demonization of Disabled People by Frances Ryan about disability in the United Kingdom under the 2010s austerity programme.  It leaves you shaking your head at the inhumane way we treat people with disabilities and mental health issues.  I am also looking forward to reading psychiatrist Dr Mark Cross' new book Mental State: Navigating Australia's insane mental health system and how to fix it.  According to him we need a minimum of 2 billion $ to even make a dent in fixing the mental health services.  We can dream I guess.

As for relaxing music my go to is Max Richter's 'Sleep' or 'Voices' CDs.  

Take care,

R 🌻