Hey
@OwlunarAgreed so much. Its hard to be unique - but the alternative ? Mediocrity. Hell no says I. Not too sure if you've read brave new world ? The part where John the savage opts out the idealised society is one of the most important literary moments for me. I remember reading it and feeling so happy with myself. And my choices.
AH yes I forgot you have been around the forum for some time. I forgot you knew me already and my story. A battler you say? Thank you my friend. I do appreciate that.
My old manager/mentor had some very wise words for me. He had not completed his final year exams at school in the UK. At rhe age of 20 he went back to tech college to complete them and then do an undergrad and then do a masters. Now he is at the forefront of an emerging industry well beyond the 8 ball that some of the biggest companies in the field have. Usually it is the people who have different trajectories in life that are the ones who SHOUOD be envied. They are not. And how good that is I think. He had some good advice for me when I needed it.
I think there comes a time where we flick on a switch and become thinking adults. I think I switched this on long ago when my sister was ill. I was no older than 16. Such a young age to switch that on. However i think I switched it off for abit and then switched it on again.
Maybe the work I do in my industry and how I see a darker side to humanity has forced that switch on again. In terms of parents - they have jokingly flagged the idea that my partner could get a PR (she's not australian) through marriage. I said nothing. My partner and I are content with where things are at and we don't let sby expectations force us into choices. There is a lot of similarity between us in terms of our approach to life. Independent but also open to others. There is a streak to her that I don't like, but I imagine she has thr same about me. What relationship DOESNT have that?
She lost her sister at a young age and I told her something on the anniversary of her sisters death - the ones we love never truly leave us. She was touched by this. It is true though. They don't. Even my sister/brother (I don't know which as my mum neve found out about the sex of the stillbirth she had) I feel for. He or she was there and was very much a part of my parents life. I was never made aware of his or her existence. But part of me aches for his or her loss - kinda strange to describe. But its also different to say the way I would feel had I lost my sister when she was young. Or indeed how my sister would have felt had I taken my own life. There is a lot of death prematurely and randomly in my mums family. She is estranged from them now. But I feel it for her. She is a strong women. Right now I'm reading Seneca's letter on the shortness of life and he writes a letter to his mum who went through a great deal. I'm inspired by it and will read it with personal affect I think.
I love how you say you are happy with your life. I must must keep remembering to remind myself of how far I had come since end of school in 2011. While I may still live at home - I am not the same person. And most of the choices I made in that era of my life have been self directed. The first being my choice to chase something I was interested in.
I feel that an interview I had recently- I had to prove my choices to someone. I had to justify my choices. It was like I was looked down on. Fortunately I am not in need of the job. I interviewed there this time last year and failed to prepare for it. Now I find myself in a role that pays more and is arguably more demanding. And I'm learning.
😎 that's all that matters aye?
Apologies for my musings.
