@tyme
Those are all the reasons I stayed on the forum. Typing was easier than talking. lol I also went over a lot of posts and threads to examine and reflect how they evolved, and how people responded to me.
I knew people did not want to hear about my sob story, and had to wait for a long time before my grief and tears subsided. So I have worked at developing my weird sense of humour. I have done a lot of therapy and have access to the internet YAY, so understand more about life's general parameters and myself. I am not so shy, words flow a lot better. Allowing them flow to the fingers, seemed to help them flow to the mouth ... lol
I also know I needed to limit my people pleasing and stand my ground when people were disrespectful. I am going through a really weird stage in life where over a year, I have stood up to 4 dominant people who were manipulating or bullying, with it effecting my son or the church where it is concerning as nobody wins by allowing bullying to happen, certainly not the church. It felt terrifying, but I harnessed all my energy to do so. There were reasons that were bigger than just me.
Strangely new people are entering my orbit, who I am having more fun connecting to others naturally without overthinking all I do and say. Working on genuine affection, connection plus the ability to say 'no' as needed. Maybe something like that will evolve for you.
Who knows where this adventure will end ...??
