Hi @Former-Member!
I suffer from Schizoaffective disorder and I’ve had pretty mixed responses telling people about it.
With about 30% of my friends, their response was along the lines of ‘I figured something along those lines, how are you going now?’ (Generally my closest friends responded this way). The next 30% were along the lines of ‘That makes sense, how horrible, can we talk about something else now?’. And the last 30% reacted pretty badly. I was treated as a permanently broken, lazy, damaged and dangerous individual who would never achieve anything their life. I generally haven’t spoke to these people ever again. This group unfortunately includes family members.
Yes, that only makes 90%.... the other 10% is about the medical profession and work colleagues/bosses. At the moment all I can think of to say about these two consists of swear words, so it’s probably best to move on.
I think you need to remember that most people are very uncomfortable about mental illness and you need to ease them into it and make it okay for them to think about and talk about it. I still find it incredibly difficult to even talk to my doctor about most of it, let alone friends, so I know I needed to ease myself into being able to talk about it and being okay with it too.
Take it slowly and gauge their reaction each time. It’s really important to have people you can talk to this about and who will be supportive when you need it. You’ll probably be surprised with who ends up being the most supportive. People who are fun to be around with similar interests are not necessarily the people who can listen and support during illness. For the majority of people who notice my absences or avoidance of social interaction, I just tell them I have a mental illness and was in hospital and I have periods of being unwell. That’s as far as it goes unless they specifically ask me about it. Only if they take things well do I disclose anything more. Even friends who are medical professionals are pretty uncomfortable about it, to be honest.
The good thing is that people can then understand why you disappear for months on end and (in my case) never pick up your phone. And they understand that sometimes you’re not being boring or lazy if you don’t go out, you just don’t feel well enough.
I have quite a few friends, who are pretty uncomfortable about mental illness, but they now understand why I disappear but they are ready to hang out and have fun when I’m around and well again.
@Former-Member, if your friend encouraged you to seek help, I’m pretty sure she cares. But don’t feel ashamed to be around her, hell! Don’t be ashamed to be around any one. Having a mental illness doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend; it just makes you ill sometimes. She may never be okay talking about mental illness in depth, or she may just take some time. But be gentle with both yourself and her.
