Father's Day ✉️

[cloudcore]

This Sunday, 5th of September, is Father's Day.

Father’s Day is widely celebrated and joyous occasion for many dads and families in Australia. It is a day intended to appreciate and honour fatherhood and the many wonderful aspects of what it means to be a dad. We recognise that for some however, Father’s Day is not a cause for celebration. For many it can be a difficult and confronting time, with reminders of family separation, loss, strained or absent relationships between dad and family, illness, and much more.

This will be a space for all of our experiences.

What are your thoughts and feelings around this upcoming Father’s Day?

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We recognise that everyone's relationships to a father, or as a father, are at various stages and we welcome everyone to bring their experiences to this space. If this conversation brings up feelings of distress, please contact the SANE Help Centre, or Mensline or 1800 RESPECT additional support.

Our community guidelines can be found here.

[BlueBay]

Hi @cloudcore 

This Father's Day will be hard because of our lockdown. 
I haven't seen my dad for over 4 months. He doesn't have a computer ir mobile phone so no face time. 
I'm struggling a bit today thinking about my dad. 
I will now have to wait for lockdown to be over before I see him. 
it's really hard and I'm struggling with the thought of not seeing him. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Thank you for this thread @cloudcore .

And thank you for posting @BlueBay . As much as I hear and acknowledge how hard a Father's Day in LD might be, I also see beyond your post. I see the beautiful connection you have made with your father so that he is truly very special to you. This is so important, especially for people who struggle with relationships (BPD etc). It also accentuates the strength of a borderline in that they care and feel very deeply. It's a beautiful trait to celebrate.

This connection you have with your father is something I can't say I have with my father - no ill feelings towards him, but the connection is just not there.

Treasure it @BlueBay . Even if you cant see him this Sunday, tell yourself you don't need A day to love him - you can love him everyday and that's what counts most.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

[BlueBay]

Aww thank you @BPDSurvivor  

i am realising that I care very deeply about people. My empathy towards others is strong.  (BPD trait)
I will treasure all the times with my dad.  I will call him on Father's Day. 
Yes I care deeply about my dad. Xxxx

[SJT63]

I lost my dear old dad over 20 years ago but still cherish the lessons he taught me.

[Owen45]

Lucky are those who have families and can celebrate a Fathers Day.  A depressing day for myself and others without family.

[Eve7]

Growing up I hated my alcoholic father. I have memories of my mother sitting outside crying as she emptied bottles of beer into the drain.

My father had a dreadful temper and would beat my mother, myself and siblings for the slightest misdemeanour.

I grew up in a cruel, unhappy home with barely enough money to feed and clothe us. 

Somehow we lived in our own home (very rundown) and were sent to the best schools.

My father died a few years ago and I didn’t shed a tear. Recently our “family home” was valued and we’re all shocked at what it (or rather the land) is now worth.

My father has somehow left an inheritance for his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Some of his descendants know nothing of his cruelty but somehow finding out this news has been comforting for some of us. Those who inherited his addictive genes may not feel that same comfort.

Sorry, I know I’m rambling.

[Former-Member]

So great to see so many different perspectives on Father's Day! It really is such a complex day for many of us.

I'm wondering how people are feeling a couple days afterwards? 

I know for me I felt okay on the day, sent some goodies to my FIL which he loved and it felt nice to connect with him, but a few days later I have a bit of a feeling of grief about my own difficult relationship wiht my Father. Even though I know right now distance is what's best for me. 

Is anyone else having any 'Father's Day Hangover'?

[BlueBay]

Hugs lovely @Eve7  😘♥️

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member 

Leading up to Father's Day (and the day) I was very emotional. Because of lockdown I couldn't see him. 
but today I am okay about it. 
it's grief, like you say,  missing out. Not seeing them. It's difficult. Hugs @Former-Member xx