Good Morning!

[Former-Member]

Hello @TAB am giving myself some Rolfing this morning. I usually do DIY myofascial release using a chiropractic foam roller and roll my body over the top of it to release muscle and fascia constriction.  My friend got me into it years ago. 

[Appleblossom]

Good Morning @Former-Member @MDT @TAB @tyme @Patches59 @EternalFlame @Dimity @Bunniekins and all reading along ...

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-24/untangling-my-grandmothers-life-in-a-mental-institution/102891032 

I find this thoughtful and at least it tried to understand delusions rather than ridicule or labeling them... even explaining ... 'work at the office' as evident of sense of humour.  

[Former-Member]

Thankyou for sharing this news snippet @Appleblossom  I found it sad that this woman was wasting her life stuck in a delusional world. She seemed to care very deeply about her family going by all the letters she wrote to her children that were confiscated by her ex partner (pop). It seems she had a good life as a domestic servant. It would have made her happy, having something to do and being around caring people.  But sounds as if she was conveniently outcasted and kept as a family secret which is what used to happen at that point in history. My parents never told their friends or people they knew I was mentally ill either. It was kept secret from so many people they knew as they didn't want to be stigmatised.

[Appleblossom]

I agree @Former-Member it was particularly sad for me as I visited that hospital many times through the 1960s, 70s and early 1980s, from when I was 4, which was my mother's first hospitalisation.  I also visited my father and 2 siblings there. I dont know how I managed to stay out of them, but I mostly concentrated on the next necessary thing, which was work and study paying bills and putting a meal on the table.  Still is.

[Patches59]

My late husband used to say I was employed. As for working, that was something all together different  😆 

[Former-Member]

Thats good @Appleblossom it obviously ran in your family. Its great you have been able to hold down a job and avoid hospitalisation. Back in the day they put folks on maximum dosages and you could not function but it was certainly convenient for the hospital staff! We did have a family friend in the 70's who had what was politely called a breakdown to protect all people concerned. She nailed all her windows shut, put kids shoes in the oven and ripped out the lighting in the house. Her place was a mess. She was driving on the opposite side of the road into Melbourne from her home. It was my first experience as a child of someone with mental illness. She wound up in Laurundel. We wanted to visit her as children but parents prevented it. She was very sedated over the phone. Lost contact she moved to the country. Don't know if she is still alive, possibly not.

[Patches59]

@Appleblossom @Former-Member  With the last couple of years I was contacted via a family history website by a woman saying she is related to me and was looking for information about her mum and her mothers ancestors.  Took some time and various questions from both of us before this woman sent me a copy of her adoption information and her birth information.

her mother spent majority of her adult life in one of 2 well known psychiatric facilities in Melbourne, during which her mother had become pregnant.  Child was removed from her birth mothers care on, or within couple days, of her birth and child was placed in type of orphanage from where she was adopted.  Her birth mother, not long after the birth, was transferred to 2nd psychiatric facility.  It was only under Freedom of Information when she was in her 40’s that my relative finally obtained the proof of her birth and letters detailing where she was signed over as ward of the state.  My relative is born 1960 and never got to meet any of her biological ancestors.  Very sad that this happened to people during the decades

[Former-Member]

I hope I don't get contacted by someone from family ancestry @Patches59 I think adoption can do a lot of damage to a child. My mum relinquished my biological sister for adoption.  I met my biological sister 30 years ago - it did not work out. You have to be prepared for the fact that these people can come from all walks of life and you will not share the same values etc. I have another half sister and half brother from Dad's previous marriage and I don't want contact from them. They would be in their 60's now.  Last contact my half sister had with dad was in the 1980's. Dad said she was after money so he broke it off. I am happy not looking into it further as I prefer my own life as it is. I have no desire to get to know my half siblings 

[Patches59]

Hard decision and one I honestly have no idea what I would do if I was in that situation.

Im so sorry @Former-Member to hear things do not work out for you and other members of your family.  Researching family history I found that one of my direct ancestors many generations ago married twice and had children with both woman.  Quite a few relatives are only interested if people are from ‘first family’ or ‘second family’.  This has resulted in some conversions becoming unpleasant.

I originally got interested in, and still is my main focus, learning which parts of the world my ancestors came from and to try to prove, or disprove, verbal family information that has been passed down over years.  With one ancestor I’ve learnt exactly where they originated from and the origin of the surname. Haven’t been able to tie in the last bit of info but what I’ve proved so far gives weight to the last verbal info being correct

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member

I dont see it as running in the family .. so much ... cos the patterns and behaviours were all quite different.  They used to think Schizophrenia and BiPolar were different genetically.  Seems more rational to me to see it through a psychosocial lens and as intergenerational trauma.

I had a similar but different experience with my brother who was raised from 6 months by fosters and adopted, but after they died, when he was adult, he connected and I tried to make us as family again.  I guess that is the main driver behind my abandonment was looking after the younger ones.  I knew about him, but did not know how to understand what it was like for me being abandoned at 6, just overwhelm hypervigilance and work as hard as I could.  

@Patches59 It is fascinating coming to terms with our ancestors. 

Learning to live more in present, but without understanding the past we are doomed to repeat it, or maybe in my case, it was destiny, or just bad luck for my son.  My own life has been far from a bed of roses, as I have had chronic pain from late 20s, and still found ways to be functional... in a fashion.

Yes I got FOI for my files but also knew things from my memory.

I think some medication is still for staff convenience over patient wellbeing, especially in some Aged care situations.