Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

[Spirit_Healer]

I'm in my 30s and he is in his 40s. I was born in Australia and he was born overseas and arrived in Australia as a toddler. There is an age gap that I will need to work with. 

Did you say that you're in your 20s?

@Blackcloud 

Haha yes, I'm also delighted to have met you here!

[Blackcloud]

@Spirit_Healer yeah I'm in my 20s haha 🙂 but yeah I do believe that people of any ethnicity can get into a relationship at any age, especially if its anywhere after 20s or 30s, etc...

unlike my mother who thinks that being in your 20s is the age where I'm already meant to be in a relationship at... 😕 😑 this is why I dont wish to ever get fully close with her because her and i's opinions and perspectives clash due to cultural differences. But it frustrates me how a lot of the things she says (that she opposes to) are the things that i feel very obliged to follow... like e.g. she doesn't allow me to get extra piercings because to her its considered 'gangster' and 'bad person-like' and she'd yell at me for it if i ever do that.

it's great that i get to meet other people of my ethnic background that were also born and raised (as well as born overseas but raised here) here in australia. back when i was a primary and high school student, i was the only cambodian descent student in the school (for both of them lol)

[Spirit_Healer]

Good evening @Blackcloud @Dreamy @tyme!

I asked my fitness instructor if he was interested in me in a dating sense. It turns out he's gay. 

After my initial disappointment, I don't know why I'm relieved. 🤔 (Perhaps because I'm interested in another guy from church, and this clarity gives me the all clear to pursue this church friend.)

Anyway, so now it's clear that we're platonic friends. I do enjoy the walks so I'll keep that going. 

[Dreamy]

@Spirit_Healer oh it sounds like it's a bit of a relief. Well done for speaking up though and asking the question, that takes so much strength and bravery. Really proud of you. 

Hope you continue to enjoy the walks together 😊

[Spirit_Healer]

Hi @Dreamy, thank you for your support. 

I've been thinking of you, how have you been?

[Dreamy]

Hi @Spirit_Healer, you're always welcome for the support. 

Having a bit of a tough time at the moment but I'm trying my best to get through it.

I hope you enjoy your evening and weekend 😊 

[Spirit_Healer]

@Dreamy @tyme 

I'm getting to that time of the month when I feel irritable and have a short fuse. Yesterday and Friday morning I felt like a little kid on the verge of throwing a big tantrum. It was horrible! Like I don't have the emotional capacity or resilience to cope with the smallest of annoyances. 

I usually am quite considered and intellectual in my decisions, so it feels really frustrating!

[Dreamy]

@Spirit_Healer that's rough sweet. Try to be gentle with yourself, sending you big hugs ♥️ 

[tyme]

@Spirit_Healer it happens to the best of us. In the past, I never knew why I was frustrated and so upset... and unreasonable.. until my monthly friend knocked on the door.

Now, I use the 'cycle' tracker on my iphone. That has helped soooo much in terms of knowing when my visitor is going to drop in.

[Spirit_Healer]

@tyme @Dreamy @Shaz51 

I'm feeling heightened. 

I was talking to my parents about how my work days vary, in terms of how much 'active' work I have scheduled each half-day that I work. 

Dad said that I should try and load up as much 'active' work as I can each day, to condition myself towards working four full days a week. 

I immediately retorted that I have been victim to his perfectionistic expectations all of my childhood. Where is his kindness? As a child, I believed that if I didn't meet his expectations, he wouldn't love me. I have an internalised voice on my shoulder that is his: punitive and nothing is ever good enough. 

I said:

I've just returned after a long bipolar episode. What if I end up in hospital again?

Of course he doesn't want that. But it seems he didn't even think of this as a possibility. 

How can he always expect more, without ever seeing the possible, negative consequences?

I think at the heart of his beliefs, he cannot accept that his daughter has a disability. He's always comparing me to his idea of 'normal', and I never measure up.