Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

[Spirit_Healer]

@tyme @Dreamy 

I saw my new psychiatrist today. I'm happy. She seems to have more of an emphasis on patient education and empowerment. And her explanations make sense. She took some notes for me and gave them to me at the end of the session. 

I requested her to refer me to a Day Program at the hospital and she did it for me. 

As I predicted, I was tired afterwards. I lay in bed for a little while in the afternoon, even though I had told myself I shouldn't nap. The last two nights I have fallen asleep in better time, and I think it might be because I didn't nap during those days. I really hope the improvement continues. 

My mood is better over the last week. I think the sunshine has helped, and the holidays, of course!

I contacted some friends today and I have lined up a lunch catch-up with one of them for later this week. Thanks @tyme for the suggestion. 

[tyme]

Glad to hear you have some time out with your friends today. I was supposed to go out for coffee, but the person I was supposed to go with had her car rego cancelled because she forgot to pay rego... so we couldn't go.

But I've organised tomorrow afternoon with about 3 others @Spirit_Healer 

Was there a reason why you felt you needed to change psychs?

[Dreamy]

@Spirit_Healer I'm so sorry I haven't replied to your recent posts, I haven't been getting notifications properly. I will read through them tomorrow and reply. In the meantime know that I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs ❤️ 

[Spirit_Healer]

Hello @Dreamy @tyme ,

The short reason for me changing psychiatrist is that I want to see a female. There is some trauma from my childhood that I feel more comfortable discussing with a female. And same goes for my hormonal issues, too.

The long answer is that my male psychiatrist started me on the medication that made me hypomanic (and I verbalised to him at that appointment about my fear of that possibility) and then when I presented to him, refused to admit me to his private hospital because he thought I was too unwell. And when I was in hospital a few months later, he would rush appointments and walk out while I was still seated. And he keeps taking leave when I need him. He is well known and respected in his field, but he doesn't take his job as seriously as he used to (I've seen him before over 15 years ago).

@Dreamy it sounds like you've had a rough few weeks. Sending you warm hugs (it's cold here)!

I met my friend and her kids today, it was a great catch-up. @Blackcloud she reminded me to not be pressured by other people's expectations when it comes to getting married and having kids. I want these things, but they can't be rushed. Besides, I'm still recovering. Just need to be on my own timeline, I suppose. 

[Blackcloud]

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@Spirit_Healer wrote:

I met my friend and her kids today, it was a great catch-up. @Blackcloud she reminded me to not be pressured by other people's expectations when it comes to getting married and having kids. I want these things, but they can't be rushed. Besides, I'm still recovering. Just need to be on my own timeline, I suppose. 

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@Spirit_Healer that's good that she told you that. How are you feeling about it now? 🙂

[Dreamy]

@Spirit_Healer it's definitely been a bit of a rough time and I've had covid for the past week now. Just haven't had it in me to read and reply too much at times. But I'm trying to catch up on your last few posts, brain is just having a hard time processing information. 

Thankyou for those hugs, it's freezing here aswell. Sending some hugs to you sweet ♥️

[tyme]

Makes a lot of sense @Spirit_Healer . It's good ot have 'fresh eyes' on things as I'm mindful that each person brings their own experiences @Spirit_Healer 

Hope things work out for you with this new psych.

[Spirit_Healer]

@Blackcloud , I'm reluctantly being patient and consciously working on healing myself, before considering a new relationship. I realised that I had a pattern of dating similar types of guys who were 'breadcrumbing' me and either didn't want to commit or didn't initiate physical or emotional intimacy. The one-sidedness of these relationships was exhausting. 

I got quite burnt-out on the dating apps, this time there are two guys from church who I want to get to know first before I decide what to do next. 

I think at the heart of this, I need to remember to show myself self-compassion. I got into dating in my late twenties, so I feel like I made a late start. By now though, I have somewhat more experience, although I don't always feel this way!

@tyme 

[tyme]

I really like your attitude there @Spirit_Healer . I share a similar attitude in that I feel I need to heal before I can commit to anything. I think this is safe.

What have you been doing during the school holidays?

[Spirit_Healer]

@tyme I went on a day trip last weekend.

My church group are going away to a regional town this weekend. It'll be good to get to know our members a bit better.

And next week, my Mum is taking some leave, so I'm hoping to do another day trip. 

Around these trips, I've been helping Dad with a few things.

I've been keeping up with exercise. On the cold, windy days, going to the gym. And walking outside when it's sunny. 

I don't have a lot to prepare for work next term, which is a good thing about the load they've given me. I had feared becoming 'not-needed', but in fact this load has allowed for the flexibility to work half-days and have minimal impact on the whole school timetable. 

Sometimes I feel like I haven't accomplished much, but then I remind myself that holidays are good that way! 

When I feel like it, I can read, or play piano. And when I don't have the concentration, I don't have to.