Depression

[Ma60]

Hi Everyone
Haven't posted for a while been struggling a bit. I have been at training this week for work. One of the facilitators said everyone will be depressed at times and people think they are experts on mental health. Couldn't help myself I said that yes people can be depressed but there is a huge difference for people who live with depression and statements such as his can lead to further stigma for those with depressive disorders. Unfortunately where I work the belief is only supervisors and above know anything about mental health. For me personally I have supervisors generally are poorly educated in the area of mental health. Last year when I was in hospital due to a work related incident the supervisor commented that they should have sacked me a code of conduct breach which was proven to be false. I sometimes wonder do people get joy or are they on a power trip when they deal with people in a crisis.

[NikNik]

Good on you for speaking up & saying something!!!

[ezra453]

Hi there

It's very difficult to find people who understand depression isn't it. I know this may sound bleak, but I gave up on people ever understanding a while ago. I live with my partner and we have a very good relationship and I also have one friend who understands. Besides those two and my dog, I dont think anyone knows or cares to know. When I accepted that, it made life for me easier. I think you did a great job speaking up. I have so many struggles at work these days. Even in a recovery support group (for addiction not depression) I heard a person say to the group that one just 'must choose to be happy'. I hate that kind of thinking. IT puts the blame on people who have depression and makes them feel like they are lazy or bad. Stupid!!! Unless you've been throug it, you shouldnt say dumb stuff. thats my opinion. 

Ezzie

[Crystal]

I certainly have different conversation with others who have lived with depression - trying to describe what it is like to someone who hasn't been there seems similar to trying to describe the flavour/texture of a kiwi fruit to someone who has never seen or tasted one. I also find a difference between those how "know" intellectually (having read, studied etc) and those who have experienced it. I value those who respond honestly eg. I do not understand or even image what it is like HOWEVER I do not doubt nor do I question that you (ie me) do
Know that there is also many us who understand because depression has been or still is part of their life - our experiences may differ, our level of understanding will relate to those experiences - I do not think we can fully understand another yet there is an understanding that is fundamental that means we exist, are not invisible & are not defined by others - speaking out as you did continues to make us viable - thank you

[Maude]

Thank you for speaking up and saying that there is a huge difference for people who live with depression and statements such as made by the facilitator can lead to further stigma for those with depressive disorders. I would have thought it but would not have had the courage to say it. Again, thank you.

[Ma60]

Thanks for the replies. I am at a stage where I feel confident to speak up. When I was ill last year work was not interested in what had caused my breakdown, even though it was work related. The return to work letter my Psychiatrist received was unbelievable but he stood by me and work had to accept I was fit for work. Since my workplace does not recognise my qualifications they have no idea about my skills and knowledge as well as lived experience of mental illness. In some ways I find it funny when they state things and I can reply with factual information.

[Loopy]

A poem

,No one is happy all of the time, but some people feel as if they can never find happiness. Some people feel as if their entire life is devoted to nothing but pain and hurt and loneliness. Every day is a struggle, and every breath a fight for survival. These people have a deep understanding of the word Depression. "

Walls

by Lloyd Klumpp No space around me
Stifling walls
Closing off my view
Numbing thoughts
Aching soul
Suffocating dreams

Memory stirs
Pain wells up
Trapping me again
Nowhere to go
But inside myself
Devoid of any aim

Too scared to move
Barriers raised
Hearts freedom restrained
Tentative
Withdrawing hand
Fear of hurt again

Thick breath and clouds
Within my head
Oppressive atmosphere
Numbing thoughts
Aching soul
Suffocating dream

loopy

[Rick]

@Ma60 

Hello Ma60,

Wow! you have just descibed the experience of so many people with MI.

It's amazing isn't it that so many clinicians are in need of serious education into their chosen field. One feels the need to ask.

What motivates a particular person to enter the MH sector as a professional clinician/support provider.

Like any population there will alsys be a segment who have issues. Bringing those issues into the job is poor work practise and such people need either more intensive supervision or a change of carreer.

I have been experiencing suicidal depression since I was nine yo. Actually before that but my first attempt was at 9. 

Because of the short sightedness of so- called experts I remained untreated due to misdiagnosis as an attention seeker until I was 32. The original damage I was suffering was excaserbatedby the ridiculous gap.

In the 12 years since that I have been recieving treatment I have become expert on managing my condition. I understand more about complex MI than many experts I've come across. Certainly more than any support service. And as for clinicians some are so limited in their field that only really get the straight forward stuff.

It's been my experince that even with Simple Mental Illness it is still far for straight forward. 

treatment resistance is a major issue for so many people that they must acquire a greater depth of knowledge into their illness merely to be able to manage day to day.

Of course when so called expert are challenged there will be a proportion who are personally threatened by that. 

You can feel good in the knowing that these people are more f*cked up than we are. Denial is a terrible thing.

Sounds to me, like you have your finger on the pulse. Supervisors are just as vulnerable to stupidity and ego tripping as any one else. Maybe more so.

I hope that you came out of your experience OK. It is obvious that you have a good intellect and since you have obviously hung on you have great resilience as well.

Thank you for sharing your story. I got a lot out of it.

Hope endures

Rick

[Ma60]

I actually resigned from my job a few weeks ago. When i returned to work after been in hospial for three weeks I realised the writing was on the wall. i am guttered by the treatment I received especially as it was a non-pofit organisation. i will miss working with the clients as this type of work is my passion. But i had to put my health first.. when I returned to work the rosters had been changed and I was not informed, had medical appts. that I had to cancel. which annoyed me as other staff were still able to make new arrangements.if they had appts. it just became more obvious that the organisation were doing their bit to get rid of me. i was asked by a senior staff member from head office to write about what had occurred but i don't know. it won't assist me but hey it might assist somebody else. what do others think? i would like to know.

[Alessandra1992]

Sorry to hear you've resigned @Ma60. From your posts it hasn't surprised me as your workplace hasn't been supportive for a while..
With regard to writing about it..this depends on who is supporting you to do this? I completely understand tour hesitancy as you will probably need to have referees from your current workplace..and if you put a complaint in writing you would need to know it is thoroughly confidential and would not be held against you. Who knows, one day you may end up back in same workplace if staff turnover is high.
Have you considered contacting an advocate or union rep just to ensure your entitlements are fully paid out?
In Victoria you could contact VMIAC, Victorian Mental Illness Awareness Council..
Also fine to leave...you have been working really hard and maybe time to walk away and let others advocate...