Functioning with ADHD

[creative_writer]

Urges still here, not sure how to get rid of them

[Jynx]

Hey @creative_writer sounds like a rough evening. What can we do to support you tonight hun? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I gave in this morning and started this. Giving in this morning has made it harder to resist doing it again tonight.

I know I’m not supposed to. I’m trying to figure out what to do now. I’m not sure what to do or what I need

[Jynx]

@creative_writer can I just clarify - are you referring to SH or to taking meds? I recall you struggling with both so just wanna ensure we're on the same page. 

What have you got on this evening? You been able to engage in any self-soothing or self-care? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx  it’s not SH related, SH doesn’t give me enough relief, so I sort of stopped doing it. I may still do emotional self-harm but no typical self-injury. I wasn’t sure how much I could go into this on the forums. I don’t want to break community guidelines. I used something to ease the anxiety this morning, which helped for a few hours. Then I sort of had a crash.

I’ve had dinner. I’m going to try some prayers, I’ve been feeling sort of disconnected. Can’t seem to concentrate on prayers. Trying is still better than nothing

[Jynx]

You could talk about the impacts @creative_writer - sounds like you're doing whatever you can to hold on. 

All we can do is try, hey. Is this something you've spoken to your supports about?  Are you concerned about tonight, feeling unsafe or anything? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx my mind is searching for a way to relieve some of the pain. I’m tired of feeling this way day after day. I know recovery takes a while, but the constant mind clutter can become too loud.

I have my psych appointment next Monday. I think I’m okay in terms of safety. Having that impulse drive, just not sure what to do. SI is there, just no plan

[Jynx]

What do you do with your 'mind clutter' normally @creative_writer ? I find that if it's getting too spirally up in my noggin, externalising it helps - either by journalling, chatting about it to a support, or recording my thoughts as a voice note. I think in some ways, it's cos my brain is soooo forgetful, that it holds onto thoughts that seem important - even if they're stressful. By getting it out, it means I can focus elsewhere and return to it when I'm ready. Do you think that could be helpful? 

I know you've mentioned that repeating your story has not necessarily helped in the past so feel free to distregard 😉

Glad you're feeling safe, but those thoughts can get heavy hey. SCBS is always an option 💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I felt like I needed sleep last night, I left the forums early because I was too tired. When I am too tired it is even harder to make sense of the thoughts. I do find externalising helpful, though sometimes I do get stuck and I don't know where to start. Though I don't do trauma details, I think talking about trauma without details can still be helpful with my supports. 

Content/trigger warning

TW Suicide

I've had moments when the thoughts would become strong, that I would start taking steps towards it, but then get too scared to go any further. I know I don't want to die, but the thoughts can get intense that I feel like i need to do something. It's pretty confusing  

Just wanted to say I'm safe right now 

[tyme]

The idea of an 'extraverted introvert' sounds very interesting. I'd be interested to hear more about these type of people if you are free @creative_writer . I'm just popping in now but will come back to check when I'm on next.