Functioning with ADHD

[AuntGlow]

Good morning @creative_writer, 

Firstly, I am glad you reached out to a helpline when you needed it most, that is exactly what they are there for. Was it helpful for you?

I understand this so much, it is utterly exhausting being triggered over and over again... this is why titration is important. Start with sitting with it for 10 seconds, then 20, then 30. Exposing yourself to too much discomfort at once will flood your nervous system, so of course your body and mind will be overwhelmed. 💛

Thank you for letting us know how you're feeling, maybe we can work together to keep you feeling safe?

What's on your agenda today? ☺️

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow it was helpful to reach out, I’ll reach out again if needed. I think it’s about finding a helpline that works for you.

Exposing is hard, maybe it’ll become easier with time. It’s hard to compartmentalise sitting with emotion time. I’m finding myself excessively thinking and feeling the body flashback. I’m still trying to figure it out.

I’ve just had lunch and I’m watching Netflix. I have a job seeker thing to do for a bit this afternoon, but it shouldn’t take too long.

I hope today is going smoothly for you 💖

[AuntGlow]

Yes, 100%. @creative_writer 

You're doing so well to slowly figure out what works for you, what doesn't, and why. 

Ooh, what are you watching atm??

Thank you, today is going really well - I sat and worked in the sun for a bit, which was much needed! 🌞

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow it is hard to predict who you would get on the phone, but it helps to speak to a trauma informed helpline.

The thing is I feel like I’m supposed to have sitting with emotions time, and get on with the rest of the day as normal. The only thing is I’m struggling to make that work. Emotions seep in, it’s hard to forget when the body is stuck on replay.

I’m watching Anne with an E.

Sunshine can help in winter, short dark days can take a toil on fatigue and mood

[AuntGlow]

Yes, I agree! @creative_writer 

Oh, lovely. You aren't expected to get on with the day as normal at all. 💛 It will take time for you to feel these feelings and subsequently create safety in the body. I think this is where self-soothing practices during and after feeling big feelings is super helpful. You've been working on this with your psychologist, right?

I haven't seen it! I will have to check it out. 

Oh, absolutely. Have you been outside today? 

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow the thing is I don’t want to be stuck in distressed the whole day. The thing is I’m in distress for long periods of time, but I’m meant to sit with discomfort for short periods. Even if I sit with discomfort for short period of time, I’m still going to feel the discomfort long after. I’m finding it hard to take my mind off that discomfort because it feels too much. I get discomfort in areas of my body I don’t want to feel. Kind of why I get lots of romantic relationship anxiety, but I can cross that bridge if I ever do go into a relationship.

I’m currently in a depressive episode, and I’m struggling to constantly distract. Constantly distracting burns me out and requires so much mental attention.

I haven’t been out today. I had job seeker obligation to attend to earlier today but I’ve finished up. They gave a decent lunch break so was able to watch some TV in between

[creative_writer]

I’m trying to think of ways to make it easier and more manageable. Just not sure how to make daily all day body flashbacks easier. It’s one thing if they’re fleeting and another persistent. I can sit with the discomfort for a bit (I’m learning to sit with it), the rest of the time it feels too much to cope, it feels too much on my senses. Recent worsening of depression and anxiety has made it hard, it takes so much out of me to remain safe

[Ru-bee]

Hey @creative_writer how are you going tonight?

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I’ve had to reach out for support tonight to help me get through tonight in one piece. Feeling a bit stiff, might try to loosen up the muscles a bit.

It’s just been super hard. Maybe there is a connection, three days before my bloods I had to get off my supplements, I restarted taking them all again on Friday, but it’s like my mental health hasn’t been able to stabilise. I’m not usually this chronically suicidal, but it’s been that way since the end of last week. I’m safe, though a part of me wishes I wasn’t. A part of me wishes to leave, but the other part is too stubborn to give up. I feel like I might end up regretting it if I give in. I’m trying to find alternatives to self harm. I do know they say if you need to self harm to do it safely. I didn’t follow that rule when I did it yesterday, so maybe the risk is too high. Nothing happened, but something could’ve happened

[creative_writer]

I’ve taken a PRN, I’m hoping I settle down soon. It’s been another exhausting day