I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It’s pretty hard @Jynx. All I can say on here is it’s hard to move them. 

Pix seems ok. She is sleeping now but she was panting and chasing her leg for about a minute. I’ll be glad when I see the rehab specialist next Wednesday and she can tell me how she is really doing and if we have damaged her. 

Yeah sci-fi is definitely not my thing. Im a typical female, love rom coms, dramas and some true stories. 

I hope work is ok. I desperately don’t want to go. It’s causing anxiety. I haven’t felt this fear about work in 6 yrs. Yes I’ve had bad days and not wanted to go but this is completely different and so much worse. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I know it's hard hun. Internal conflict between the different parts of you, all vying for their own version of what is best for your survival. Take some deep breaths and maybe say something aloud to yourself, a positive affirmation liiiike...

"I know I can get through tonight without resorting to this. I know Pixie needs me, I know I am strong enough to be there for her, and I can do this for myself"

I always find saying it out loud makes it more powerful than the stuff in my head. 

Hmm sounds like dread, deep and heavy. Might be something more to it - are you able to take some time off? Is it to do with the HR stuff you reckon?

[Captain24]

It’s just all too hard @Jynx. If I didn’t have Pix it wouldn’t be anywhere near as hard. 

I can’t take anymore time off. I’ve taken 2 days off next block and then 2 nights the block after. Dread is the word I was looking for. 

The HR stuff is ok as I told her not to get involved just yet. She is concerned about me but I told her I was doing ok as I don’t want to be suspended again. 

I feel the same as some others on here. Just haven’t said it in the same way. 

[Jynx]

I think/hope it will be a case where the lead up to going will be much harder than actually being there, and maybe that thought alone can help you get through it @Captain24. It's so hard when we're forced to ignore our needs for our mental health in favour of... ya know, keeping our jobs and fulfilling our need to eat and pay rent. So rough. 

I'm off for tonight, I send you so many hugs and some of my Jynx-strength-reserves-energy to help you through the night. I'll chat to you again soon hun. Rest well, and give some gentle scritches to Pix for me 💜🐶

[Captain24]

Thanks @Jynx. I just messed but in a different way. How could I have had such a valuable appointment and feel this way. 

Have a good night. 

[Captain24]

I can’t face another day. 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Captain24 , concerned for you 😢

I'm sorry you are dreading your work so much at the moment...how did it go last night?

I'm glad your pdoc appt went better then you expected, that's good news. Well done on completing the timeline 🙂

Hope you are coping...sending hugs...

[NatureLover]

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@Captain24 wrote:

I go to work tonight. The fear and anxiety are really out of control. Work use to be my happy place but now it’s another thing that adds to me having no will to live.

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I'm so sorry to hear this @Captain24  😢 I will send wishes that work improves for you... 🤞

I'm doing OK thankfully, thanks 👍