I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Something is wrong @tyme. I don’t know what it is but I can stay this way. There is not one thought that doesn’t come with some negative connotation. It has completely consumed me and getting worse. If it stays like this I won’t make it. 

The lump is so heavy that it’s hard to breathe. It’s a solid state, it’s not moving just getting heavier. 

We go on Thursday. 

Maybe you can convince her that school nights need to be her bed. She loses all rewards if she comes in. I can’t see you doing that though. Hahaha

Shes a tough little bugger! 

[tyme]

Can you plan your days with your parents ahead of time? I know they can be 'needy' at times, but if you limit the amount of time you are around them, it may be helpful. That is, set some alarms and tell them you have to go? IDK. You know better than me how you can set boundaries with your parents. @Captain24 I can see how dark and difficult things are getting for you.

Please reach out to crisis lines or someone if you feel you really can't take it anymore. 

As for these kids, IDK. Gotta love em, but they drive me bonkers too.

Anyway, that's all from me tonight. I think the heat is causing me to feel very tired. I'll catchya next time. Wed? Thurs? Fri? When you on next?

[Captain24]

My psych and I can up with a plan that every afternoon I go to the bed and then while they are watching tv I go into the other room. Hopefully that gives me a break. 

I just need someone to help me make it stop. 

Thanks for being here. Sorry if I said too much. I do feel really uncomfortable with what Ive posted. Please feel free to delete them. 

Im on nights tomorrow and Tuesday but will be around Wednesday. 

O can hear how much you love them! 

[tyme]

See you Wed my dear @Captain24 . 

Take care! Looking forward to seeing you then 🙂

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , Wassup? How are things going on your end?

[Captain24]

I’ve just finished packing and packed the car @tyme 

How are you going? How was the last few days? 

[tyme]

Let me guess, you're going in a different cars, right? @Captain24 

What time you planning to take off? Can you go an hour earlier or later?

As stressful as it is, I feel it is so amazing that you still have these regular family 'holidays'. I recognise it is hard, but in a way, I somehow feel there is a strong connection - correct me if I'm wrong.

Do your parents ever go away without you?

Also, my week has been pretty crappy. I had accusations thrown at me yesterday and it really upset me. But I was determined not to let it pull me down. I'm a firm believer that the truth will prevail, even if it takes time. So today was better. But I'm also just glad to be on the forums with you...

The joys of life.

[Captain24]

Totally different cars. @tyme. The whole time we are away it’s just one car and I have to sit in the back with 3 dogs. They will go into the supermarket and leave me in the car without it running. 

I have to leave at the same time. We meet at the same places to get the dogs out for a break. If Pix doesn’t have a break she vomits! 

Its hard. I can afford to go by myself as accommodation with dogs is so expensive. Plus it’s an obligation. No. They usually only go with me. It’s hard because they look after my dogs when I’m working. 

Im so sorry that happened. I can feel that it hurt. I’m really glad that today is a little better. I hope the truth comes out for you soon. Anything I can do to help? 

[tyme]

So it sounds like you are doing each other a 'favour' in some way @Captain24 

Look @Captain24 , as I said, they won't be around forever. At least you can say you did your part - more than what your bro can say. Hang on, didn't you say you will see your bro this holz?

And with holidays, it's so so hard. I want to go on a cruise. I want to go overseas more regularly, but I don't want to go on my own. I need someone with me, but I don't want a random person. I'd take my niece, but my sister said no which is fair enough.

As for my crappy days, it's all good. Just being here on the forums helps me soo much. That's why in a way, I don't see my work here as 'work'. It's my 'chill time'. 

[Captain24]

Yeah. At least I’ve made the effort. @tyme. Yes I’ll see my brother. I don’t think I told you but I’ve heard from him twice in the last week. He needed money. Funny how he is nice when he wants something. 

I want to go on a cruise too. But on your own is so hard. I’d go with you!! 

Im glad being on here helps someone and it’s good that it’s you.