My Mosaic

[tyme]

You do have it in you @Bow . You really do. Give yourself the chance. And when you reslly feel you can't do it, just let others do it for you - don't fight it my dear. I care. I really do.

[Bow]

My case manager visited this afternoon. 

They are wanting me to have an expensive blood test done to test my metabolic rate or something cause I have such a high tolerance to medication. That way they can adjust my dose accordingly. 

They also want me to reconsider ECT. 😩

She asked me about my SH, I showed her what I did and she asked if I think I should be in hospital? 
They are really pushing for an admission, it can be planned she kept reminding me. 

Oh and she broke the news that my pdoc is leaving! I will see her for the last time on Monday. 😩😭

[Snowie]

Oh no @Bow I am so sorry to hear about your pdoc hon. It is so hard when supports we have leave, especially when they have made such an impact on us and our lives. I hope your pdoc is able to suggest a new one for you. When I had to change my pdoc, I found it so much easier when my old pdoc could have that conversation with the new one before I saw them first.

Having that blood test might just be able to help you, especially if a change in medication can prevent having to do ECT and go into hospital.

I know what you are feeling hon. Having just been through hospital and ECT it is such a hard decision, especially when it is taken out of our control.

Please know that I am here for you hon, through whatever you decide to do. YOU are so important to us and have my support through thick and thin 🤗💗🤗💗

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie 

I see my pdoc through community mh. My case manager said there are 2 registras on the team still and she wasn’t sure if someone would replace my pdoc. At least all my notes are there and my case manager attends all my appointments so can give who ever takes over a handover. 

my mum must of told my step dad about the blood test, as he has offered to pay for it for me. 

@Snowie do they still give you a mouth guard when they do ECT?

[Snowie]

@Bow I am glad to hear that all your notes are there hon and whoever takes it over will have all that. It is much easier than having to start from scratch again.

I know you probably don't want people to know but I am glad your step Dad has offered to pay for it. It is something probably that you really need to have done, and if you don't have to worry about the cost then it might make it a little easier for you.

They still use a mouth guard when they do ECT for me, not that I have to worry about it. They give me the anesthetic first so I go to sleep and then they put the mouth guard in. Then they take it out before I wake up at the end. Where I have it done, they are actually really good, really supportive and I don't have to worry about anything. If I have to continue having it done, then I would go back to the same place.

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie  it’s been such a long time since I’ve had ECT. If I do decide to have some, I’d like to ask about it being done as an outpatient. When I had it before, I had its mon, wed, Fri. I had a bed in the psych ward, would go in the night before and then go home after having it done. 

[Snowie]

@Bow 

It is worth asking hon if you can do it as an outpatient.

I have been having it Mon, Wed and Fri but of course as an inpatient.

The pdoc wants me to keep having it for awhile just as a precaution, but it would be only every second Friday. I would do that as an outpatient and just come in that morning. Only problem with that is that I have to have someone drive me in and take me home. Other problem is that we live just over an hour away, so it would pretty much take up the whole day.

I am happy to answer any questions you have hon. Of course it might differ a little from place to place.

[NatureLover]

Oh no re your pdoc leaving, @Bow ! 😞

That was nice of your stepdad to offer to pay for the expensive blood test. 

Sending wishes for you 💜

[Bow]

Today ain’t going too well 😩

[FloatingFeather]

Hey @Bow,

Sorry to read you aren't doing to good today. I really hope the rest of the afternoon / evening picks up for you and the week ahead is a kind one for you.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather