My Mosaic

[Bow]

This is more than just change. 

this psychologist was the third psychologist in a period of 6months when I started with her- the previous two were a traumatic experience. It took me nearly a year to be able to trust her with stuff, to open up with her. 
She is really well equipped with eating disorders cause she use to help run the eating disorder clinic here. 
I started doing this exposure therapy with her. She thought it was best to put in on hold some weeks back cause of what was going on at home. Now where am I left with that??? Is that a box that will forever be left shut, half finished. Maybe she knew all these weeks ago she was gonna leave and didn’t wanna start on the really hard part of the story knowing that we’d never get it finished? 
This was a psychologist who has numerous times including recently told me she isn’t going anywhere. Was it all lies?? I think if there is even a small chance you’d move on you don’t ever say things like that. Ever. How do I trust anyone ever again??? 
I guess I should have known better. Should have know it was all too good to be true. An amazing psychologist at community mh.  Yeah they will stick me with someone else, goodness knows who that will be. 
but is there any point?? Just gonna shut everyone out. Disappear. No one will notice if I leave. 

[Emelia8]

Oh no @Bow 💔  That is a really low blow,  and I can understand you feeling that way.  You're right,  she should never have said that she wasn't going anywhere. I am concerned about you @Bow as I know how I would feel under these circumstances.  I'm sorry I really don't know what to say. Other than that I feel for you,  and I want you to stay safe.  💝

Emelia

[hanami]

Hey @Bow 

Thank you for explaining all of that. I can see how this makes you feel like you can't trust people. I used to work at CMH and was good friends with our psychologist. She was trying for a baby for many years but of course didn't tell any of the people she worked with. When she fell pregnant her worst fear was telling them. She truly was sad and felt bad about this sudden change for them.

I'm not saying anything about why your psychologist is leaving but we can't assume anything about the lives of others. I know this doesn't help your hurting and understand the pain is raw right now. But I honestly don't believe she meant to do this and would hate that you're feeling so devastated. Don't give up, there are plenty more amazing health professionals out there. Feel sad, yes, and feel angry too - you have every right to. But know that there are others who want to help you.

❤️

[Paperdaisy]

oh gosh @Bow That must be so hard. I'm so sorry to hear she's left you suddenly. I know you really trusted her. I guess we do have to remember that Psychologists are people too, outside of their work and have their own things that happen in life. I'm sure she never meant to hurt you, but that doesn't make it any easier 💝

[NatureLover]

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@Bow wrote:

My psychologist broke the news to me that she is leaving. I am beyond devastated. 

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Am so very sorry that this has happened, @Bow  😞

Hoping you are coping...sending wishes for you that you find someone even better 💜

[Snowie]

@Bow 

I know yesterday was such a full on day for you, with so many changes happening.

I hope today brings at least a little bit of clarity for you.

Please remember we are all here for you those this difficult time.

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie @NatureLover @Paperdaisy @hanami @Emelia8 

trying not to think too much about it cause it makes me teary all over again. But did manage to do some journaling last night through the tears. Have a gp appointment tomorrow. Suppose to see my case manager too. But just wanting to shut everyone out. I will go to my gp appointment cause I need some stuff for my DSP application. Also need stuff from my pdoc and psych too, but don’t know what’s gonna happen there anymore 😩 

[hanami]

Thank you for letting us know @Bow . It's good you're keeping appts. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep going for now.  Understandable your pain is real and raw and you're worried about what's going to happen. 

❤️

[Bow]

Contemplating the end

[Captain24]

Hey @Bow. I’m here. I’m ready to listen