Work

[Former-Member]

Today at work I just found out we are closing down the our department in the store I work in, in two and a half weeks.

This has left me losing more then half my hours as I work for our sister brand else where. They are also not helping me to get more shifts as I'm a casual and the other store im in is my base store. I've called all our other stores and there is no hours!

Basicly I'm left with the task of finding a new job. Everyone is like this is great get a new job go study, do what you love for once. I don't love anything! Nothing satisfies me! I'm to stupid to study! I don't have the energy to find a new job!

Last year I spent 4 months job hunting and in good with what I do but I got a massive lisp and stutter when nervous so I do shit in interviews or I do to amazing and they call up saying they love me but I'm to advanced for the job!!!! I can't deal with putting myself out there and getting rejected. I don't want to be rejected at the only thing I'm good at that I hate.

I also don't want my routine to be messed up. I love struckter. I like knowing what I'm doing. I don't want to not know what I'm doing. I do f want to meet new people. I don't want any of that. I can barley go to my job and sometimes I self harm or take something to get through it and some days I'm great but I know I'm going to crash and burn big time at a new place.

Like I know this sounds childish but why can't I get a freaking break!

I've done nothing wrong in my life but love others, bring the homeless into my house on Christmas, speak words of encouragement, never tear anyone down, give my time and love. And what do I get in return, a violent childhood where I would live on pasta for weeks, I would get picked on every day at school for wearing boy clothing and handy downs. I don't get a proper education. I have a miscarriage. I'm always broke. I don't have anything normal functional around me and yay I got bipolar. And there's chicks out there who do drugs and have healthy babies and marry rich or the parents support them and they live healthy lives and everything falls in there laps.

I'm really hating life today. It's getting way to hard and unfair

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member,

That’s such a bummer! Job hunting can be such a pain, even if you are good at what you do and have lots of skills. I really hope you can find something soon!

Sorry to hear you’re feeling life is so unfair at the moment. It’s never nice to feel that way. I know it might not be much consolation, but sometimes when I’m having a tough time I try to think that difficulty in our life is where our true strengths come to light. I find it hard to find any other way to explain why bad things happen to good people. It sounds like you’ve had to deal with so much difficulty in your life through no fault of your own, and yet here you are, still standing, still breathing, being compassionate and supportive of others, and trying to do the best you can every day with what life has handed you. Perhaps being able to go through all of these difficult experiences in your life is a testament to how strong you are as a person, and that you have the wherewithal to keep going even when things are tough.

I hope you’re having a better day today!

supernova.

[NikNik]

Oh @Former-Member I'm so sorry to read the terrible run you're having.

As @Former-Member it's nothing you have done and that must be very frustrating.

Quite clearly (& understandably) you were very overwhelmed when you posted this and it seemed like everything was piling up.

How are you travelling now?

It might be too soon for this, but I thought I'd let you know that we run Career Chat on Fridays between 10am - 4pm AEDT. Each week @Debstar from Ostara talks about a different employment / workplace topic. You might find some of our past sessions helpful. You can find them here.

We're here if you need us.

Take care

[Former-Member]

@NikNik I'm not traveling that great. A few job opportunities have opened up today but I don't want to get my hopes up to high. Plus I'm scared of starting fresh. I had it so simple and it was easy for me to get time off and no one guessed there was something wrong with me. I'm just scared I'll have a break down in the new place and won't manage. I just don't want to fail. I hate failing.

I'm just feel really shaken up and my moods are very over the place. I'm laughing one second screaming the next. I've also taken to my fast food all I can eat. I just live on chocolate and coke literally for days. I'm also just in my screw it mood and got my nails, hair done and a lot of cloths shopping. Stuff the bills as longs as I feel good that's all that matters.

I say in a few more days I should be calm to face the feral job hunt if none of the things that have opened up come through.

@Former-Member I never really get comfort of knowing how strong I am. I hate the fact I have to find out how strong I am. I know a lot of people will think that's weird because people like to be uplifted and find strengths about them self but I'm a bit different. <br><br>

[BeachsideMUM]

Hi unfortunately I'm unemployed myself at the moment and I understand how fusterating it is... And I'm not just talking reduced hours or several week or months, it's been 4 years since I've been employed. Unfortunately there's no guarantees in life that we will always have a good job and a decent pay. I have gone back to study as means to an end and all the short courses I've done along the way have improved my self esteem... I'm sure there's something u could do. Also, maybe you could take the opportunity to volunteer e.g. at on old folks home as doing something for others always makes me feel better about myself.

[Former-Member]

@BeachsideMUM thankyou for the reply. I can't volunteer work to make myself feel good. I try to do everything in my life with a non selfish heart. And I know that sounds stupid because when ever you do something good it's human nature to feel good and that at all is not selfish. But I have a huge thing about humbling myself and not letting things get to my head. I dont want to make my works about me. I want it to be 100% about the person it's happening to. It's the weird thing I do. My husband is trying to teach me to feel happy about helping others and I should be proud of it,

I also don't think volunteering would be good because I'm in a bad head space. I won't be able to give 100% and I'll be flakey. It's something I don't like being. I also can't take on any unwanted stress. I seriously will break. I just need a job or I'm literally stuffed and will have to move and won't be able to afford going back to my doctor if I want to see him.



I

[Former-Member]

Just about to sit a two hour group interview! Freaking out badly!

Also on the question form I had to fill out for this job it asked me if I have a mental illness such as anxiety or deppresion. I was shocked reading it as I don't believe it's anyone's business. I in the end clicked no as my illness does not define who I am or has any reason to come into my work place. I've worked during many panic attacks and through my blackest deppresion. My job is something that is only mine and that I'm good at and gets me out of bed. I like the routeen and knowing I made my own money.

[Former-Member]

😞 I hate that that question is on there @Former-Member I think it would be discrimination for them to take that into account but then why ask it? Is it even allowed unless you're going into a high risk job like ambulance or something?

How did your interview go?

LJ

[Former-Member]

I don't think the should ask it. I asked my mother why they asked that question and she's like to cover them self and also know if you might be the person that needs random time off and could break down easily. But she was like it's dumb and say no because your bipolar has never effected your work. Only your anxiety did when you where young and weren't in control of it.

I think it went really well. I had a group interview and a private one. They seemed to like my all answers and I decided to be the group talker and show I got leadership skills and know what I'm doing which I can't believe I did as I hate public taking.

I think all the positive texts from my family and friends helped me and made me feel good. I'm not excited for my crash I'm going to get because I'm on a higher then normal high though

[Former-Member]

Well done on the great interview @Former-Member fingers crossed for you 😀