Acceptance is hard work

[MissinTooth]

Have a good weekend @AuntGlow and chat to you on Sunday. 

[Till23]

Hi @MissinTooth how was your day?

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 hi there.

My day was an improvement on the last couple of days. I slept a full night, then woke up with more energy than I have had this week. I still have the rug rat here. I picked her up from daycare and took her to see the horses down the road from my house. I'm currently cooking us dinner and she's watching Mickey. My anxiety brain is strong tonight, but it's so much better than the lows and the brain fog!

How was your day! 

[Till23]

Oh I'm so glad to hear that @MissinTooth 

Getting adequate sleep is so important for physical and mental wellbeing.

Has the RR been staying with you overnight for a few days? Do you like having them with you?

I'm a bit the same it's either anxiety or feeling down, I don't seem to land on normal.

I was feeling pretty down last night and I didn't sleep well at all. I was worrying about something I said on the forums and how that impacted a couple of people.

Today I've been full of anxiety running around like a headless chook trying to get things ready for trip.

Hope you have a nice dinner with RR

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 No, she's not been staying with me. I've been picking her up after school and her Dad's been picking her up around 7 pm each night. I love having her around, but it's a lot after work and tonight...when she leaves I'll need to jump on the laptop and do a couple of hours of study because I've not touched it this week. 

But...I have that...I don't know how to describe it...anxious energy turned up hight today and so I need to make the best of it while I can. 

I'm convinced that I don't have a "normal" setting. 

And, I saw your post and their thread and it's okay. It's okay for you to post like you did, it's okay for them to feel something about it and it's okay for you to worry. All of those things are perfectly normal reactions. I get it. I've said things here that's made me take a step back and assess and worry. So, you're not alone there. 

I bet you're packing frantically. Try not to overtime it, enjoy the process. Easier said than done, I know. 

[Till23]

Well I'm actually happy you have had a couple of days off study @MissinTooth. That would have cleared a bit of head space even if just temporarily.

Yes I know I don't have a "normal" setting 😂

But yes the better sleeping and having a break, probably means if you can direct your energy to studying you should get through it.

Thanks for your support. When I'm pretty anxious my brain is sort of full and I don't seem to have much space for new things.

I haven't started actually packing yet, but just buying things I need and organising stuff for while I'm away and things for here while I'm away.

I'm certainly not doing any washing was supposed to be sunny today, but sprinkling and cold all day!

I hope you get some good study in this evening

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 it feels strange on here tonight. Everyone's so quiet...it's a little unsettling. 

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 it seems we posted at the same time. Lol.

The headspace is hard work when anxiety ramps up, I know. So, you're doing a great job, while organising yourself for your trip away. 

I know it's a complex question and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, but are you excited? 

I've had washing on the line since Sunday and have only just managed to get it in today. It's been so wet here too. Rain every day. 

[Till23]

It is thursday night @MissinTooth and that is late night shopping in a lot of places. It is quieter some nights than others and it's usually quiet in the days. 

No I'm not excited and I hate that numb or blunted feeling. I'm anxious which is a heightened nervous system but it's different from excitement.

If I could tell you what I was doing you'd probably be amazed I'm not excited. I'm hoping I get excited when I get on the plane because there I can't do anything it's out of my control, so I can only look forward.

I ahve had glimpses of excitement and people that know what I am doing are excited for me! Maybe once I get a few more things sorted I will be excited. I am in a depressive episode so it is hard and I am worried that some PTSD symptoms will be heightened and how I might react. I also don't want to ahve an episode at night and disturb other people plus I will be embarrassed.

Yes I need at least one more fully sunny day to get some things I want to take dry.

[Till23]

Another reason it is quiet tonight @MissinTooth I've just discovered there are no Peer Support workers on, there's a couple of moderators but members don't know them as well as the Peer Support Workers, so there'e less chat