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08 Jun 2025 09:21 PM
08 Jun 2025 09:21 PM
Oh wow, that sounds really interesting. How are you feeling about it and do you have an idea of what you might do? @MissinTooth 💛
08 Jun 2025 09:26 PM - edited 08 Jun 2025 09:35 PM
08 Jun 2025 09:26 PM - edited 08 Jun 2025 09:35 PM
@AuntGlow it's stressing me out already.
The last course was basically the same assignment but a different topic and I went two days with no sleep trying to do it. I haven't looked at it in detail, so I'm not sure what I'll do yet.
But it will be a follow on from this one which was on the impact of trauma on diverse youth and adolescents, who demonstrate distress reduction behaviours, what trauma informed care looks like, the barriers to trauma informed care and suggestions on how to overcome them.
09 Jun 2025 02:30 PM
09 Jun 2025 02:30 PM
Gah, that does sound like a lot! @MissinTooth
I wonder if we can come back to that idea of exploring what you are most curious about again here?
The Pomodoro Method could also be helpful (which I am sure you are aware of, but here is a reminder):
How are you feeling otherwise today? 💛
09 Jun 2025 02:35 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 03:01 PM
09 Jun 2025 02:35 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 03:01 PM
@AuntGlow I haven't heard of the Pomodoro method. I'll have to do some research.
AuntGlow I thought I was travelling okay. Got my housework done and got hit with some pretty intense SH. I'm safe, I don't need medical care. I just need...some support, someone to sit with me.
There's something I need to do and was wondering whether you could help with it?
09 Jun 2025 07:11 PM
09 Jun 2025 07:11 PM
@AuntGlow I don't wanna hassle or be a bother....are you still around?
09 Jun 2025 07:11 PM
09 Jun 2025 07:11 PM
@MissinTooth Okay, amazing. Let me know what you find and if you think it may be helpful.
I am here with you. How are things feeling at the moment? I appreciate you letting me know you are okay. Please let me know if this changes.
What are you needing help with? ☺️
09 Jun 2025 07:25 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 08:35 PM
09 Jun 2025 07:25 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 08:35 PM
@AuntGlow I'm...just feeling low, but managing it.
I'm sorry if this is going to sound...just anxious brained.
I have a GP appointment tomorrow And I haven't been to see a Doc in 8 years. I have some...difficulties with medical things. Lots and lots of anxiety around them. I also have a lot of programming to work through around this...
I would get in trouble as a child for my anxiety...
I'm going to get a MHCP. @tyme and Jynx both suggested I write down some things to talk about with my GP and I just have a blank page...so, are you able to help me with that
I um...also have some fears coming up...
Like...what do I do if I don't get support?
And I don't want to go into hospital, I don't have the supports for that to happen, so how do I talk about my stuff without...without sugar coating it, but also without setting off alarm bells?
09 Jun 2025 09:10 PM
09 Jun 2025 09:10 PM
@MissinTooth I hear you, and you're allowed to be anxious-brained here. 🥰
Health anxiety and resistance to going to a GP is understandable, I have experienced this lots too... it can be so overwhelming. 😔 I think even booking the appointment sounds like a huge feat in itself for you... it's okay for you to feel scared - you're really challenging your comfort zone here! But please know you have a whole community at your fingertips who you can message throughout this process - we will be here to virtually hold your hand.
I think writing things down could really help with anxiety, yes! Would you like to write them here first?
I would also like to add, sometimes just letting the GP know where you're at can be really helpful. You can let them know how this process is scary for you, and they can meet you in that space. I have lost count of how many times I have had panic attacks and cried at the doctor or the dentist. You're not alone, and this will get easier - I promise.
You can let them know you have been experiencing suicidal thoughts and self-harm. Inform them that you have supports and that you are safe but want more support for when you're not as safe. You won't have to go to hospital with this information.
Also, if they aren't able to provide every support you need in one session, that is okay and very normal. We can debrief after and work out next steps! 💛
09 Jun 2025 09:26 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 09:44 PM
09 Jun 2025 09:26 PM - edited 09 Jun 2025 09:44 PM
@AuntGlow the booking it part was so overwhelming. I tried to book online to save talking to people over the phone and then they rejected the appointment because I hadn't been for 8 years, and that makes me a new patient and then I had to do all the new patient paper work...it was a lot for something that was already hard for me.
I have a...a thing about people actually seeing me...seeing what's going on. A fear, it sets off a panic attack. I mask all the time.
Okay...so...
I can start with how I'm in SANE's guided recovery program and have some supports in place but would like a MHCP.
Then talk about my anxiety. How it's always dialled up and I don't know how to regulate it. No matter how hard I try, it's always on and present. It makes me over think everything, feel on edge and keeps me constantly moving (I even pace when I teach). It's exhausting and getting harder to mask and hold it together at work. Then the physical symptoms - headaches every day, upset stomach, feeling like my heart's beating in my head, pains in the tummy, stiff and sore muscles from the tension. The panic attacks.
Then I could share the depression symptoms - brain fog almost constantly, feeling low, and then days where I'm really low, and sad but like...heavy, dragging me under sad. Finding it hard to enjoy the things I used to, but I'm trying. Feeling disconnected from everyone. The fact that everything feels really hard.
Sleep is a problem - I either wake up in a panic or wake up several times throughout the night. Each morning, I wake up exhausted.
I could explain that I haven't sought help before, but I need it and it's impacting more and more on the good things in my life and on my capacity to function - I feel like I'm failing at everything.
I don't know if I want to talk about the SH and SI....
Oh and my psoriasis and skin flaring up.
09 Jun 2025 09:45 PM
09 Jun 2025 09:45 PM
Well, I am proud of you for booking - that's genuine exposure therapy! And it shows me that you are already building up your tolerance for sitting with this fear and discomfort.
(Maybe knowing this will help you tomorrow?).
I am sure you are very skilled at masking, and it would be very hard to unmask in this instance... so please be gentle with yourself, okay?
Oh my goodness, how have I forgotten to ask you about this?! How is the guided recovery going? 🤩
Honestly, this is perfect and so clear - it's enough without having to share all of your innermost straight off the bat. Wonderful work.
I know that talking about self-harm and suicidality is really scary and can bring up feelings of shame and overwhelm. But I'd like you to know that GP's have these conversations every day and I will be praying that you get a wonderful person who you feel safe sharing with.
I am looking forward to checking in tomorrow - you've got this. 💪💛 @MissinTooth
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