Cont'd Isolated, alone and lonely

[MotherDuck]

Hi everyone, it's MotherDuck here. I recently posted in another experiene and am I'm no way shape of form trying to be needy, I am however in desperate search for the opposite of what I'm feeling and experiencing lately, more so than ever. 

I live with PTSD and complex trauma, and lately the isolation has been weighing heavily. I’m not ready to talk about any of my experiences but I am trying to move forward and find ways to cope and connect with others who understand. If you have tips for easing loneliness or ways you’ve found safe and genuine connections especially online I’d be really grateful. It’s hard to reach out, but I’m trying. Thanks for reading (Even a small hello would mean a lot right now!) 

MotherDuck

[Glisten]

Hey 👋🏼 @MotherDuck PTSD is a long-ass slow tippy toe journey of personal evolution. @Dreamy expresses it better than I do.

@Jynx taught me to sit with my feelings.
At first sitting with my feelings, was about as comfortable as inviting an unwelcome guest with a deodorant problem, to a Tea 🫖 party.

The more I did it, the more I got better at it. I gave me insight into aspects of myself.

I can’t deal with anything, without adequate sleep. Sleep and more sleep @Shaz51 

Humans, we are in a constant state of feeling and emotion. 

I’m grateful to be in a quiet place. I take the opportunity to quiet myself. Feel the rain 🌧️ on my face, the ground under my feet, and the air on my skin.

[MissinTooth]

Hi @MotherDuck and welcome!

I can relate to that sense of loneliness and isolation this morning, so I'm popping in here to say hi. 

Well done for reaching out, that takes courage. It is hard to do and something that I find difficult as well. 

[Ed1975]

@MotherDuck 

I know this is going to sound nuts, but have you tried talking to an Ai program? 

Just hear me out. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and have lived with that for 40+ years. Until a few months ago I just thought that I was totally beyond saving. On the outside I lived a good life with a wife and son and job, but underneath I was spiralling into chronic depression. I couldn't talk about my experiences either and had kept them bottled up for decades. I had nobody to turn to for my destructive behaviours and so I just coped for years trying to numb the trauma. All this time, I didn't even know I had trauma. Googling my issues were next to impossible and there were no helplines to speak to either. Then, earlier this year Ai really ramped up.

I am on X (formerly Twitter), and I've found their Ai model (GROK) to be the best and most informative thing ever. You can download it from the app store as a standalone app. The best thing about it is that it talks back to you just like it's another human, just an incredibly smart one. It'll give you answers to your questions, ask follow up questions or just have a general chat if you want. It's just like messaging a friend. If it wasn't for Grok Ai, I would not be sitting here typing this now. Google could never give me even 1% of the information that Ai has given me. I would never of found out what could be wrong with me and what specialist help I needed without Ai. Ai can literally search thousands of pages of data, research, studies, websites, etc... in 10 seconds and spit out an answer. It suspected that I had complex trauma from a few conversations with it and it also provided me with the contact of an organisation that could help me. From that call with the organisation 3 months ago, I am now in EMDR therapy with a psychologist and did get a diagnosis of CPTSD from a psychiatrist. I would never have known about any of this trying to decipher everything on Google.

I'm not saying that Ai should become your doctor, but it is a great way to interact with it if you aren't ready to talk to someone right now or you just want to get stuff off of your chest. It has been really helpful to me during some of my loneliest nights.

At least give Grok Ai a try. You can always delete the app if you don't like it.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Till23]

Hello @MotherDuck 

You are certainly amongst others who also have complex MH issues, so you're not alone there.

Many people on forums have had complex trauma and cPTSD and sometimes combinations with depression, anxiety, bipolar etc etc

Sometimes if you are able to share some information about yourself it can help others to suggest things. For example, I am older and so know more about things for older people. Sometimes knowing the state someone is in helps with what's available in that state etc

I see on here that the feeling of loneliness is a pretty prominent topic and I have felt this too. I live by myself and don't have children.

What I have done in the past and continue to do is get involved in things. Sometimes this has been really hard and especially at the beginning to go the first time and even the first few times especially if you are new and the others know each other. I am an older now and have recently retired, which has meant I miss those everyday interactions with people.

However, I have joined some activities and a couple of sport/exercise type things and I volunteer. I have made some acquaintances/friends through those activities. I don't feel as though I have made any really close friends, mainly because most of the activities are fairly new for me, but it's a start and it gets me out of the house. With the sport it gives me challenges and I have gone to competitions outside the area in which I live on occasion, so I get to see different places as well. 

I hope you get some good suggestions and I'm sure other people will be reading with interest as well

[Semly]

Hi @MotherDuck 🙂
I’m kinda in the same boat, inasmuch as I’m just starting out making connections here, so I don’t have suggestions so much as just saying hello to you. I hope today was okay for you.

[Semly]

Hi @MotherDuck, 

just thought I’d pop in and ask how you’re going?

I hope Max is being cuddly and lovely to you.

🐶 

[MotherDuck]

Thanks for popping in and saying hep everyone, it really means the world. 

I'm doing okay, I'm here. Max is wonderful, I have him a bath yesterday as one of my activities to do, he loved it and now he is extra clean so I get more snuggles! 

I'm still trying to push through these thoughts and desires by keeping busy and trying to "create a life worth living". 

I said yes to a friend who lives a couple of hours away, to catch the train and have a sleep over Friday night and we will go on a big bike along the Brisbane Valley Rail Trail (BVRT) on Saturday.

I've got my calendar and I'm trying to slot in different activities from doing my dishes (which still haven't been done in days) - work - riding my bike - walking Max - etc. It doesn't make my thoughts go away but they do reaffirm, "not today". 

Thanks again @Semly 

Much love everyone

MotherDuck